


Love Always Wins

by bandhoez9194, BlueRain96



Series: Victoriously in Love [1]
Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forced Pregnancy, Friendship/Love, Kidnapping, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Minor Character Death, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Pregnancy, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 62,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11495250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandhoez9194/pseuds/bandhoez9194, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRain96/pseuds/BlueRain96
Summary: Lydia Hamilton and Naomi Reynolds are two girls from across the states. One went through home after home until finally coming home to her mother while the other lives with homophobic parents.They grow close after a happen chance meeting in a dress shop and fall in love.Discovery, distance, and disaster revolve around these two girls who only want to love one another without pain or drama.Their past comes back to haunt them and more disaster follows. Can these two make it through the many obstacles and tests life is throwing at them or will their love be shown to not to be?





	1. Going Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is the first book I've had published on Wattpad. I was worried that people might not like the book, so my friend published it for me. She's the co-creator I listed. And it got a lot of views so she suggested that I put it here, So I really hope you like it. I did change it up a bit as I edited it, just a warning.

Chapter 1- Going home

The room was dark. I was the only one here in the whole house. Left behind by this stupid family. They had gone out to dinner, and I’m still sitting here wishing that there was something to eat. I turned over and switched on the bedside lamp. There was a framed picture of my real family by the bed. I looked at the picture and wept into the pillow. I missed them so much, and I don’t think that it was fair that they took me away from them. It was quiet besides my weeping, until there were loud bangs on the door. I quickly got up and ran downstairs to open the door, thinking that it was Landon, Tracy, and the kids and they'd forgotten the keys. I soon realized it wasn’t…

“FBI OPEN UP!” A loud booming male voice rang out through the house. Nearly tripping, I stubbed my toe on the couch and limped over to the door. I opened it to reveal five FBI Agents at the door. The man that was banging on the door was tall with dark hair. It was hard to tell the color, being that it was dark outside. He looked at me, and I didn’t need light to see the awkward look on his face.

“I’m sorry. I was going as fast as I could. Can I help you?” I asked. “Maybe by putting on some clothes.” He answered. I looked at him confused, then I looked down at my long T-Shirt and underwear. “Well you didn’t give me much time.” I said sarcastically, “Sir, I believe you have the wrong house. Maybe I can direct you to the correct house.” “Is this The Torres’s residence?” He asked confused himself.

“Yes.” I answered cautiously. “Then we don’t have the wrong address,” He said, “May we come in?” “Look, if you’re looking for Landon, he’s not here. Supposedly, he and the rest went out to eat. Probably ran because they saw you.” I said moving from the doorway. They walked in, and I could see his features better. He looked in his mid-thirties, and he had dark, dark brown hair with brown eyes. The woman next to him was familiar. Her mid-length brown hair was pulled up in a tight bun, and her brown eyes looked at me sorrowfully.

  
“Are you Lydia Hamilton?” He asked me. “Yeah.” I answered. “Then we aren’t really here for Landon or Tracy… We are here for you.” He said. “Well whatever you think I did… I didn’t do it.” I said. “Not like that.” He laughed, then gave me the suspicious look. “What did you do Miss Hamilton?” “Nothing you can prove," I joked, and he laughed.   
“Well I’m Agent Connor Richardson, and this is Jamie Richardson… My sister.” He greeted. “Jamie works for the…”

“I know who she is.” I interrupted. “Child Protective Services.”


	2. 4th of July

“Just wait until Madeline sees this.” I joked to Jamie. “She’s gonna love this Fourth of July. Considering the past five of them.” “Connor… She wouldn’t care what holiday it was. All Madeline wanted was her daughter back.” Jamie said getting out of the car. “I know. I know,” I got out and followed her up to Madeline’s door. Jamie knocked on the door rapidly, showing that she herself was giddy for this.

“JUST A MINUTE!” Madeline’s sweet voice yelled from far on the other side of the door. “Then why are you getting excited about this that much. She’s not even your daughter.” “So, that doesn’t mean that I can’t care for her like a father. And you're excited, too.” “That doesn't mean I'm prepared to ruin the surprise, and she may never see you like a father.”

“I don’t expect her to, Jamie. But it's enough to see Madeline back with her daughter. I just want her to be happy,” I explained. “Really.” Jamie asked just as Madeline cracked the door and peered around it. “Really what?” She greeted with a big smile. There was a voice in my head begging me to tell her, but I wanted her to find out at the party, “Hey Connor… Jamie.”

“Hey baby,” I hugged and kissed her, “You ready?” “Yeah.” She opened the door wider and revealed blue jean shorts, Red tank-top, and a white thin flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She had black flip-flops on. Her light brown hair was pulled up in a bun with a braid wrapped around it. Her eyes were hazel, with a light caramel brown color with small flecks of emerald green scattered throughout the irises. “What do you think?”

“Great! You look great.” Jamie said. She was wearing almost the same, but she had with shorts, a red tank-top, and blue dress-sandals, “We need to get going.” “Right. Just let me grab my purse.” She said as she disappeared behind the door for a second. 

“I’ve gotta tell her.” I whispered to Jamie. “No. Don’t you dare.” she whispered back. “I have to.” I argued in a whisper. “No.” She nearly yelled, but it remained a whisper. “We had a plan, Connor. You need to follow it, dammit.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to tell her. Jamie, this is beginning to get too much for me.” I said pretending to whine. “I need to tell her.” “Tell me what?” Madeline asked coming back into the room. “Nothing.” Jamie answered. “Just that we know you’ll definitely enjoy the party this year.”

“Really, why?” She said walking out the door, and Jamie pinched me. “Ow. That hurt.” I said to her. Madeline turned around, and saw me rubbing my arm. She rolled her eyes, and turned back to the car. “Jamie why don’t you unlock the car.”

“Very funny, Connor. You have the keys.” She looked and laughed at me. I reached in my pocket and pulled out the keys and unlocked the car. Madeline got in on the passenger side, and Jamie got in the back. I walked around and got in on the driver side and turned on the car.

“So Jamie, how’s work?” Madeline asked putting on her seat belt. I don’t normally start driving until everyone had their seat belt on. Some find it controlling, but Madeline thought it to be a good idea. I put mine on and was ready to drive. “Oh, you know. Ruining kids’ lives. The good stuff.” Jamie answered.

“Don’t forget saving them, too.” I added stepping on the gas. “I guess.” Madeline sighed. I saw her face saddened, and gave Jamie a look in the mirror. Madeline knew that Jamie was with the child protective services. Jamie was the one who was forced to re-home Lydia years ago. Ironically, that's how Madeline and I'd met. 

Jamie and I knew that Madeline would never do what she was accused of. Lydia's father was hopeless and helpless in the argument, but loved his wife and daughter the same. I gave Jamie a saddened look.

“L-L-Look. I actually saved this one girl last week. She’s sixteen, and quite the sweetheart considering the foster family she was with. The dad was a hard-core abuser, and the mother was a drug addict as well as she sold it. We got the girl out of the home.”

“What about their children?” Madeline asked hoping to see a happy ending for the family. “Their biological children will go into foster homes themselves.” Jamie answered. “And the girl you saved?” I asked playing along, even though I knew exactly where that girl was.

“She wasn’t their real daughter, and normally she’d go to another foster family.” Jamie continued. I knew she was talking about Lydia, but all I could do in this moment was give her a warning look in the mirror. She gave me an assuring look. As if she’s say, ‘don’t worry… she won’t figure it out’. She just continued on her story. “But… The court finally ruled in her real family’s favor. They found out the truth about why she was taken.”

“Why was she taken?” Madeline asked. “Classified.” Jamie answered. “Sorry I can’t tell you. It's against the rules for me to say anything about the children's lives.” “It’s okay.” Madeline assured. “I just hope that she’ll be happy with her real family.”

“She’s ecstatic.” Jamie replied. “She hasn’t gone home yet, but she was ecstatic when the FBI and I banged on her foster family’s door. She got even happier when we told her she was going home… home.” “Really… Well I’m happy for her.” Madeline said.

“Maddie, it's going to be okay. I told you already that we were working on it. Try to enjoy the night, okay? It’s gonna be one hell of a party. With food and Fireworks, and...” I began. “You know I will have fun, Connor.” Madeline interrupted. “I always do.” “No you always hid the sadness that you felt.” I argued.

“I have not.” She laughed. “I do feel very bad afterwards though. Just another night that I forgot about Lydia.” “You never forgot about Lydia, babe.” I assured. “You always talked about her while you were drunk.” “I do. Shit, I’m sorry.” She apologized. “Don’t worry about it. No mother should ever have to go through unfair times as you have.” Jamie said.

“I’ve a gift for you, baby.” I said pulling out a necklace and handing it to her. She looked really happy, and I liked that about her. “I- It’s beautiful.” She said looking at it. It was perfect for today. It was just a silver chain with an American flag on it. “Connor, tell her about the family tradition.” Jamie said.

“Okay. Madeline you remember what I told you about tradition in the family. You have to make a wish before you put the necklace on.” I said. “Now you have Jamie’s word on it.” “Thanks.” Madeline looked at me with loving eyes. “When did that start?” “It’s a tradition.” Jamie said. “It goes way back.”

“Oh okay,” Madeline said clearly not believing it. She closed her eyes, and put the necklace on. After she clasped the necklace she looked at me. “Happy?” “Yeah. What did you wish for?” I answered smiling, as I pulled in to my driveway. Mom and dad were waiting by the front door.

“You didn’t tell me your parents were going to be there.” Madeline said as I parked the car. “And I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.” “Well then… I don’t know why they’re here. You know they just showed up this morning uninvited, and everything went downhill. So all in all, they’re staying the whole week.”

“Yay.” She gave a fake cheer as she took off her seatbelt, and opened the door. I got out as well, and she walked over to greet them. She gave them each a hug. “Hi Charles… Serenity.” “Hello Madeline. How are you doing?” Mom greeted hugging her back.

“Mom don’t be weird.” Jamie said shutting the car door. “Dad don’t be mean.” “I agree.” I said folding my arms on the hood. “I think that we should have one party here where you don’t bust out the baby books.”

“Awe but I actually brought all of them this time.” Mom whined letting go of Madeline. “You should be proud, because you were just the cutest little baby with the cutest little…” “MOM!” I yelled stopping her and slamming the car door shut. She looked at me shocked. "Yeah Serenity, it's hardly little anymore," Madeline chuckled, making me blush and everyone else laugh. “I’m sorry but the last thing we need to talk about is what you were about to say," I frowned, "And Maddie, please... not in front of my parents."

“Okay… Okay.” Madeline threw her hands up in the air. Mom piped in, “Maybe I should take them from everyone then.” “YOU DID WHAT?!” Jamie and I yelled. Mom started laughing. “I’m kidding you two are so uptight.” She said between laughs, then she turned around and walked inside of my big house. I walked up to Madeline.

“Well then…” She smiled. “Tonight’s gonna be pretty interesting.” “Please don’t say that.” I pleaded. “Fine… fine. I take it back. Tonight’s gonna be boring.” She laughed and walked ahead of me inside. I turned towards my father.

“Hello, Connor.” He greeted giving me a short hug. He looked towards the door. “How’s she doing?” “Lydia was taken from her five years ago, dad. I’m sure she’s trying to do well.” I answered. “Are you sure? They dropped the girl off earlier.” He looked at me suspiciously. “It’s not something illegal is it?”

“No of course not.” I answered. “The court decided, after we got London to confess, that she’d be safe enough to come home.” “So what you and Jamie did was completely legal?” “Completely.”

“Okay... well... She’s upstairs. Said that you, Jamie, and her planned to surprise her mother.” “Yes. Just make sure that Madeline doesn’t go upstairs,” I answered, “Please?” “Anything,” He said, and he walked inside with me, “Say everyone’s in the back yard, but we couldn’t find the radio.”

“I’ll get it," I replied. “No one wanted to dig through all your shit, so…” “I’ll get it. I’ll get it.” I said turning to go up the stairs. “I’ll get it.” “Do you want me to go with you, Conner?” Madeline asked.

“No I’m good. Stay down here Maddie.” I answered, and walked upstairs. “I got it just fine. No worries.” “Okay. I’ll be out back.” She walked toward the back door. “We’ll go with her.” Mom said. “Come on Jamie… Charles.”

“Well actually I know where the radio is, I’ll go and help him grab it. I can’t reach it, but he can.” Jamie said following me up the stairs.

“Well… Charles?” Mom turned to dad. “Don’t worry… I’m going with you baby.” “Come on Jamie.” I said listening for the back door to shut.

“LYDIA!” Jamie called as soon as the door shut. “UP HERE!” Lydia called back. Her voice was shaky. We followed her voice to my bedroom. I opened the door and she was looking at a picture frame that stood by my bed. I couldn’t see her face, but I didn’t need to. I knew she was crying.

“Lydia, what’s wrong?” I asked walking over to her. “This.” She said holding up the picture frame. “Why is there a lovely picture of you and my mom all _happy_ together?” “L-Lydia I-.” I began. “WHY?!” She sobbed.

“I’m gonna go downstairs.” Jamie walked out. “Take the radio.” I said as she closed the door. Then turned my attention back to Lydia. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.” “What happened to my dad? Did they get a divorce? Is it because of me?” She asked, “Did he blame her?” “No.” I answered. “He didn’t. Your parents were very much in love. She loved him and he loved her. He didn’t blame her.”

“Then what happened?” She asked again. I was reluctant to tell her. I didn’t want to. It wasn’t for me to tell her, and I shouldn’t.

“Lydia, He-,” I froze, and sighed, “He died.” “What?” She asked me. Her head dropped and her black hair with blue streaks fell over her face. “How?” “He had a heart attack.” I answered sitting next to her on the bed. “Madeline told me that the doctors said it was a blood clot which led to a heart attack. I’m so sorry.”

“And no one told me?” She sobbed. “How long ago was it?” “Three months after you went into foster care.” He said. “Do you think that the stress of the situation led to the clot which led to his heart attack?” She asked looking back up at me. Her bright blue zircon eyes looked up at me saddened by the new information.

“No I don’t think so, Lydia.” I said. A small chime broke the short silence. With that, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell. I peeked over and saw a picture of a red head with ‘Nora’ written under it. She was blowing a kiss to the camera. “Who’s Nora?”

“My girlfriend.” She sniffled locking her phone. She stood up and headed towards the door. “Mom’s out back. Right?” “Yea she’s out back, why?” I answered confused. My heart dropped slightly. I hoped that she meant as in best friend. I'm sure that Madeline wouldn't care whatever her daughter was, but still... that's not information I'd hoped would come out today.

“She’s here.” She walked out the door, and I followed her down the stairs, and out the front door. The girl was standing on the curb of the driveway. She was wearing a flag printed tank top with a blue miniskirt, and she had a pair of black and white converse. Lydia ran out and hugged her. Then they did something that I did _not_ expect… they… kissed.


	3. Reunion and a Break Up

“Lydia, I missed you so much.” Nora said after kissing me. “Can’t believe that you’re moving into town.” “Well to me it’s back into town.” I said. “Mom’s in the back yard.” “Who’s that?” She asked pointing to Connor.

“Oh that’s Agent Conner Richardson.” I answered. “He’s my mom’s boyfriend. Long story.” “Oh. Hello.” She waved to him, as we walked over. “I hoped that’s what you meant.” He lied. “I know what you hoped, Connor.” I said. “Best Friends.”

“Yeah. Your mom doesn’t know. I’m not sure how she’ll take it though.” He looked at me cautiously. “If she loves me… She’ll take it just fine.” I said. “Rather confident.” He sighed. “Come on.” “What a buzz kill.” Nora laughed. “If anything… It will be okay.”

“I know.” I grabbed her hand. “Let’s go out back.” “Okay.” She giggled. Her carrot orange hair flew behind her as we ran inside. Connor followed us in. We stopped to wait on him to catch up and tell us it was time to go out back and surprise mom. “What are you waiting for?” He asked when he caught up to us. He waved towards the back door. “Go.”

“Thank you.” I said and ran out back. His back yard was huge, and it sat on the even bigger lake. There were many people, and only a few of them were dancing to the music Jamie had gotten going. The others were sitting or standing, and some were eating while others were drinking and talking. I saw mom sitting in the Gazebo on top of the lake ten yards from his back door. She was sitting next to Jamie and they were talking. Nora and I walked down the dock, but only Jamie caught us coming. She smiled and waved for us to come closer. We walked up to them, and when we got to the end, mom had finally noticed us. She realized who I was, and her jaw dropped in shock.

“Lydia.” Then her eyes jotted between me and Jamie. Jamie gave her an ‘uh huh’ look and nodded. Then mom stood up and wrapped me in a large tight hug. Then her arms got tighter and tighter around me. I almost couldn’t breathe.

“Can’t… Breathe…. Please… let… go…” I managed. She finally let go of me and smiled. “Sorry.” She said. “It’s alright.” I assured. “There’s someone I want you to meet.” “The red-head?”

“Yes.” I said grabbing Nora’s wrist. “Mom this is Nora…” “Nice to meet you, Nora.” Mom said, shaking Nora’s hand.

“My girlfriend.” I finished. At the same time, Jamie gasped dropping her cup, and mom froze with her eyes widened. I was a little nervous, and I began to nervously bite my lip. Nora stood there nervous. She’d let go of mom’s hand. I didn’t know what else to do, but continue. “Nora had moved to town about a month ago. She used to live in the same city as my ex-foster family.”

“Really?” Jamie asked. “What a strange coincidence.” “No kidding.” Mom finally said. “Well, um… Lydia, how did you… um…” “Find out I was Lesbian?” I finished. Mom, Nora, and I sat down on the bench next to Jamie.

“Yeah.” Jamie answered. “I wanna know, too. You didn’t mention that to me before, when I banged on your door.” “Well… It um… it started with me realizing how much I paid attention to girls instead of guys. At first I just pushed it off, and continued out my day. Nora was just my friend at the time, but then we both snuck out to a party. And of course where there’s a party… there’s spin the bottle.” I explained, and Nora chuckled. I spun it and it landed on Nora. I was afraid at first, but then I thought, ‘it was a party… screw it’ and we kissed.”

“Well now that that’s in check.” Jamie said standing up. She started walking down the dock. “Connor’s probably having trouble with mom and dad… Might as well go get them off his ass.”

“Okay.” Mom said confused, as Jamie walked down the dock where we couldn’t hear her feet tapping the wood. Mom turned to me. “Well…” “I’m sorry.” I apologized. “I wasn’t trying to run her off.” “Jamie just doesn’t know how to handle it.” Mom assured. She wrapped her arm around me. “Don’t be sorry.”

“You’re not mad?” I asked. “Of course not, Lydia.” She answered as though she were shocked that I’d ask such a question. “I love you for who you are… No matter what.” “Um.” Nora began, but stopped. I turned to her.

“What is it?” I asked. “Well, I was kind of hungry…” She began. “Do you mind?” “Not at all.” I said, and she got up and walked back up to the yard. Mom grabbed my hand.

“Well anyways. Lydia, you are a strong and amazing young lady. There’s nothing that could ever change that, and you deserve to be treated like one. I don’t care who you’re with, unless they don’t treat you right or they get you pregnant.” Mom joked on the last part.

“Mom.” I laughed. “I’m just saying.” She defended and tilted her head behind us. I looked in that direction she wanted me to look. I saw Nora dancing with another girl. No plate of food. Not even a drink. It upset me a little.

“Mom, I- I don’t believe that’s what it looks like.” “Why? Because you don’t want it to be like that?” She asked looking at me serious. “It may not be, but what if it is?” “Then I…” I stopped, and looked back at Nora dancing with the other girl. I remembered how she used to do that all the time in San Francisco. It upset me, but I was afraid to confront her about it. I sighed and looked back at mom. “Then I… may have to leave her.”

“I didn’t say that.” Mom said. “Be reasonable, Lydia.” “I am being reasonable.” I replied. “I have to leave Nora. This isn’t the first, Mom. I want it to be the last.” “What a day.” Mom sighed. “What?” I asked looking at her. “Nothing.” She replied. “I was just saying. I didn’t expect you to walk down that dock to begin with. Then you walk back with a girlfriend, and now you’re leaving the dock to go and break up with her.”

“Well you’re right.” I said. “I deserve to be treated well, and Nora’s always doing that to me.” “She is?” Mom looked at me with a concerned look. “Yeah.” I answered. “Always.”

“Then what do you truly think you should do?” “I’ve already told you.” I answered. “I have to leave her.” “Then go and get it done.” She got up and walked down the dock. “I’m gonna go find Connor.” “Hey do you think dad would’ve minded?” I asked before she got to where she couldn’t hear me. She stopped and turned back around. She looked shocked and walked back over to me, then she hugged me. “I’m sorry they had to tell you.” She said sorrowfully.

“Do you?” I repeated with a catch in my throat. I was fighting back tears. Not just because I just found out my father died, but because I was overwhelmed by everything. I finally got to go back to my mother, and unfortunately I realized what a bitch my girlfriend was. She looked at me. Her caramel brown and emerald green eyes looked deep into my blue eyes. Her gaze like that always told me that she was about to tell the truth. I remembered that from when I was little. Before they took me from them.

“No. He wouldn’t have.” She answered softly. “Your father may not have been as open-minded as me, but he loved you. All he ever cared about was if you were happy. It didn’t matter with who. All that mattered to him was if they’d treat you the way he wanted you to be treated.”

“Really?” I said a tear ran down my cheek. She hugged me tight and rubbed her hand up and down my back. “Yeah. He loved you so much.” She assured. “In fact, his final wish was that you knew that.” “Really?”

“Mm Hmm.” She replied. “Then I guess it came true.” I added. “Yep.” “And Connor?” “What about him? “Do you like him?” “That’s why I’m dating him.” “Does he treat you right?” “Of Course.” “Then you ought to go to him. Correct?”

“Right?” She began to walk away then stopped. “Are you sure you’ll be ok doing this… Alone. I can stay if you…” “Go.” I interrupted softly. “And can you send Red to me?”

“More like Carrot Top, but yeah I will.” She said walking down the dock as I smiled at her joke. I watched as she walked over to Nora and tapped on her shoulder. She jumped and turned to see who it was. Then I saw mom point to me, and Nora nodded. I sat on the couch and waited for her to walk over. I could hear her footsteps tap the dock. For the first time, I got upset and angry as she got closer and closer. I didn’t look at her as she sat next to me.

“What is it?” She asked reaching for my hand, but I moved it so she couldn’t grab it. “Lydia, not this again.” “What?” I finally looked at her. I knew now that I was ready to let her go. “You want to break up.” “Then why are you saying ‘again’?”

“Well it’s a pattern.” She explained. “You say you want out, then you get a couple days away, and then you come running back.” “Well… Not this time. I’m tired of you always doing that shit to me.” I looked her in the eye, and pointed to the party where she was dancing with the girl.

“What shit, Lydia?” She got really defensive. Then she realized. “Okay so I was spending some time with another girl. All we did was dance. Nothing more.” “Really. Then let’s be honest, Nora.” I said angrily. “How many since you moved away from San Francisco.”

“How many of what?” “How many girls have you been with since you moved here?” I repeated, she didn’t answer. She nervously switched her balance back and forth between legs. She wanted to say something, but kept stopping herself. It made me angrier. “HOW MANY?!”

“Four.” She blurted out, then I noticed that she regretted answering… after she noticed how angry I got. “FOUR?” I repeated. “Four.” She echoed. “Four people… In one month?”

“Well a couple were constant, and one is still going on.” “HOLY SHIT, NORA!” I yelled. Luckily my screams were blurred out by the music. “I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!” “I’m sorry, Lydia.” She cried. I didn’t say anything. I was trying my best to stay calm… as calm as I could be in a situation like this. The silence was getting to her, and I knew it. “Say something.”

“Definitely.” I said under my breath. “What?” “I'm definitely breaking up with you!” I repeated to where she could here. “What do you mean?” “It is over, Nora! I'm done! I'm tired of this disrespect. Did you honestly think that I didn't know about you cheating on me?! In California?! You must have obviously thought that I was stupid!" 

“Lydia…” Her voice trailed off. “Four people in one month, Nora.” I repeated. “Not one of them was me…. It’s definitely over.” “Lydia…” “Go.” I said firmly. “Just go home, and I- I never want to see you again!”

She said nothing more. She just sighed and walked away defeated. I turned towards the lake so that I couldn’t watch her leave. I watched the evening sun glisten against the water. It was like shiny crimson stones sparkling in my eyes. It was a while after the sun went down before someone came walking back up the dock. I was afraid to turn and see who it was, so I waited for them to say something.

“Hey.” Mom greeted softly. She walked over and sat next to me. “They’re about to set off the fireworks from the boat dock. Just thought I warned you before on goes off and scares you.” “Thanks, but I think I’ll go inside.” I sighed and stood up.

“And miss the fireworks?” She asked surprised. “As I recall… you _loved_ fireworks. And I wouldn’t forgive myself, if I let you miss them.” “I can watch from the window.” I said.

“No. You’re going to sit your ass back on that bench and watch some fucking fireworks with me.” She said playfully as she grabbed my wrist and sat down on the bench. “Don’t you want to spend some time with me? It has been five years, and I don’t want that break up to screw up _my_ Fourth of July. I love you Lydia.” “I love you too mom.” I replied. I thought about it for a moment. “Okay. I’ll stay and watch the fireworks with you. I have been looking forward to it.”

“Good. I wasn’t going to let you go anyway.” She smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. Then the fireworks started exploding, lighting up the sky. They glistened off the water just as the sun did, but this time it was different colors. Red, blue, pink, purple, green, orange, yellow, and many… _many_ … other colors. “This may have been the end of you and Nora, but she just isn’t the one. If she was… she definitely wouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Can we stop talking about Nora…Please?” I asked trying to enjoy the fireworks. “I just want to watch the fireworks.” “Okay.” She rubbed my back to comfort me. Then a rainbow firework went off in the air. I couldn’t help but smile. It may have been a rough start, but it won’t end that way. I know that good things are to come, and I will find the one. I just know it.


	4. New dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia's mother pushes her to go to the mall to shop for a new dress for her anniversary.

“Lydia,” Mom said opening the bedroom door. I didn’t reply, I just rolled over and tried to ignore her, “Honey, it’s been a week… you need to get up and do something.” “I don’t want to,” I moaned, really not wanting to get up. She walked over and sat next to me on the bed. She rubbed my back to comfort me. “Honey, you need to get out of this room… Please,” She begged almost desperately. She’d been trying to get me out of the room for quite a while. I didn’t answer, and she sighed, “Look I need your help…”

“Help with what?” I asked still not looking at her confused. “Well… mine and Connor’s anniversary is in two days,” She began to explain. “I can’t help you with that,” I said, but she ignored me, and continued. “He’s taking me to a real fancy restaurant,” She continued. “This really isn’t sounding like a problem,” I said rolling over to where my back is facing her. She brushed my hair off my face, “Where is the problem in this?” “Well if you’d let me finish...” “Sorry, go ahead,” I said in defeat.

“I don’t have anything good to wear, and I was going to go shopping. I going to need a second opinion if you don’t mind,” She finally finished revealing the problem. “What?” I rolled back over and looked at her. “I want you to come with me and help me pick out a nice dress for mine and Connor’s date,” She said slowly as though I wasn’t truly understanding the question. “Today?” I asked. “No, next year,” She answered sarcastically, “Of course today you goofball.”

“But the date is in two days. Can’t we go tomorrow?” I asked wanting so badly to be left alone. “But I want some bonding time with you now. We might be spending all day tomorrow getting ready. That’s not enough bonding time for me, and you know that,” She frowned laying over and facing me. Her tone turned into begging, “Please go to the mall with me.”

“No,” I buried my face in my pillow. “Are you sure that’s your answer?” She asked with a tone that had me a bit worried. “I don’t want to go right now,” I repeated, not expecting what she was about to do. “Then I guess you don’t want this…” Then she started tickling me, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I kept trying to fight her off. “Mom… MOM!” I yelled, “STOP IT!” “Not gonna stop until you agree to come to the mall with me,” She blackmailed me.

“Okay… okay… OKAY!” I gave in, and she stopped. I breathed heavily trying to catch my breath, “I’ll go… I’ll go. Just don’t do that again.” “Okay… Get dressed,” She got up feeling accomplished and walked out of the room, “Don’t make me go back in there!” “I’m getting up!” I yelled through the door.

I laid on my back and sighed. Then I uncovered myself and got up. I walked over to my dresser and threw on a pair of blue jeans and a deep sky blue tank top with a black sleeveless over-shirt. I walked over to the door and slipped on a pair of matching blue flats. Walked over and grabbed my phone off the charger next to my bed, and with that I grabbed my purse. I walked out of the room and down the stairs.

“Are you ready?” Mom asked coming out of the kitchen archway, just as I was coming down the stairs into the living room, “Wow you look great.” “Thank you,” I replied as she walked over to me and hugged me. “Although, you did forget something,” She added with a frown. “What?” I asked, and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and walked me over to the mirror by the front door. I startled myself, because my hair was a ratted mess from laying in the bed all week. I turned around to look away, and she handed me a brush to brush my hair… and I did. It looked nice after I brushed it, and it smoothly laid halfway down my back. I pulled it up in a low ponytail and pulled the hair over my shoulders. “Thank you,” I said handing back her brush.

“No problem. Now are you ready?” She replied. “Yeah,” I answered. Then my phone chimed. I pulled it out and looked at it. Nora sent me a text. I deleted the text and put the phone back in my pocket. “There’s a start,” Mom said hugging me, “And what do you plan to do if she texts you again?” “Delete it,” I answered shrugging my shoulders. “Okay,” She sighed, “Let’s go… Shall we.”

“What do you think about this one?” Mom yelled from the other side of the curtain. It was the dressing room at a store in the mall. It was slightly uncomfortable being in there. The girls were really pretty, but I knew that pretty much all of them were straight. Mom came out of the dressing room. She was wearing a red dress, and the front went down showing a lot of cleavage. The rest of the dress stopped at her knees.

“That’s really pretty,” I answered looking at her with a small smile, “The real question is, ‘how does it make you feel’?” “Sexy,” She said smiling and doing a little model pose. I rolled my eyes and smiled with her, “See… I knew you’d be smiling today. Connor didn’t think I could do it.” “Got any more dresses back there,” I asked hoping to change the subject. “Just one more. Think you can look around for another one?” She replied. “Sure,” I said getting up.

I walked out of the dressing area and into the main part of the store. I walked around looking in the dresses. There were so many dresses, in many different colors. Red and black were very common, but I had no idea why. I fumbled through the dresses trying to find one for her. It seemed like we weren’t in luck. We’ve been through five department stores, and not one of them had what she wanted. We were walking down the hallway carrying shopping bags and drinks.

“Look, there are plenty of stores to search through,” She said wrapping her arm around me, “I just want to know that you’re having fun.” “It does feel nice to get out of the house,” I smiled and took a drink from my cup. “See, I knew some shopping would help you feel better,” She chuckled nudging me a bit with her elbow. Then she gestured to another store, “What about that one?” “Sure, as long as I come out with something,” I joked. “Whatever makes my little girl smile,” She chuckled as we walked into the store.

It was full of beautiful dresses. Mom and I got to work on our search looking for the right dress. I pulled out a black one, “What about this one?” “I don’t know,” She grabbed it from me, looked at it front and back, then hung it back on the rack. “You know it’s hard to help you if you don’t tell me exactly what you like,” I said looking at more dresses. I held up a red one, and she shook her head. I scoffed and put the dress back on the rack, “Jesus mom, tell me what you want.”

“Well...” She looked as though she was thinking, “I like pink.” “There’s a start,” I chuckled moving over to the pink dresses, “What else?” “Um. I don’t want to show too much. Conner gets a little jealous. He likes to show me off, but he doesn’t like me to show off,” She explained, and I chuckled. “Alright,” I looked through the dresses, “He’s not too possessive. Is he?” “What? No, he’s not. He takes care of me, and loves me. He really wants to get to know you better. You may not be his daughter, but he does care about you like one,” She explained.

“He does?” I looked at her a little surprised. “Yeah, he does,” She smiled, and I couldn’t help but smile at that. “That’s good,” I said. After a moment of looking through the dresses and thinking about how much Connor loves mom, she looked at me, “Penny for your thoughts?” “Well, I was just thinking of how happy you are,” I answered. “How happy I am?” She chuckled. “Yeah. You have Connor, and he cares so much about you. It’s so good to know that you have him to care for you. You deserve to be happy, and you are… and that makes me happy,” I explained.

“It’s go to know that I have your approval,” She chuckled. “You don’t need my approval, Mama,” I chuckled looking at a dress front and back. Then I held it up, “What about this one?” “Hmm,” She grabbed the dress and held on to it, “I’ll try it on.” “Okay,” I looked in the pink dresses some more. “You know, I know you don’t want to think or talk about Nora… but I think we should,” She said. “Mama,” I gave her a warning tone. “Lydia, sometimes talking about it helps, and you know that,” She defended her end of the conversation.

“Fine what do you want to talk about,” “How you feel,” She replied. “What about that?” “You didn’t love her,” “Yes I did… at one point I did,” I defended. “But that love faded because you knew what she did behind her back. Why didn’t you leave her to begin with?” She asked. “Because I- I spent a long time alone. Not even the foster family cared about me, but when I was with her… at first… I wasn’t alone. I was happy for once. She was that good at caring about me. I’m not sure if it’s because she knew what I wanted, and that she was able to give it to me. I’m not sure if she felt that she could give me the companion and care that I wanted and needed, and still have fun outside of our relationship. I am sure, however, that she felt tied down too early. That’s what the problem was, She felt like she had to be with me.”

“I see… how does that make you feel to know that?” She asked. “I don’t know. Used. Maybe. She used me as a constant. Someone she knew wouldn’t leave her. I think that she had the same fear to be alone, we just handled it differently. She didn’t want to be alone, but she didn’t want to be too close to someone. She used me as a companion who wouldn’t leave her, and I used her as well. I used her to not be alone. That’s why- that’s why I never left her, even after I knew she cheated on me. Part of me even hoped that she’d stop,” I explained. “So you were afraid to be alone, and you found that companionship with _her_ , even though she cheated on you?” She asked to be clear. 

“Yeah, I know that it’s a bit much, and ridiculous… but that’s how it was. That’s the deep and heavy meaning to why it took me this long to leave her. I think it was much easier not to leave her and stay gone, because I’m not alone anymore. I am truly home. I have you,” I answered. “That’s not ridiculous. I’ve actually expected something a bit more simple. I never expected something so...” “Stupid?” “Real,” She corrected, “It’s truly a lot to think about.” “I did all that thinking during the week I spent in bed. I was trying to come up with a real reason to why I stayed with her so long. Honestly… I believe that I haven’t been happier. I spent the week not leaving my room because I was afraid that I’d just go running back to her like I always did. I don’t want anything to do with her anymore. It was time that I moved on.” 

“Well, this is a good place to start,” She smiled hold up a dress, “What do you think about this one?” “I like it, you can try it on if you like it,” I answered. She hummed in thought, looked at it again, then put it back on the rack. “So how do you feel now?” She asked, I thought about it for a moment. I wasn’t tied to Nora anymore. I severed it, but I haven’t thought about how I felt about being away from Nora. Not until now at least. I looked up at mom and smiled, “I feel… free.” 

“Good,” She chuckled looking at the dresses again. I looked at the pink ones as well, my mind still wandering over my thoughts about what I was going to do. I know that this town is small, and I know so few people. I also don’t know how many girls would be lesbian like me. My thoughts were interrupted when I saw the perfect dress. It was pink, and it was a bit slumped over the hanger like someone had pulled it off, and didn’t put much effort into putting it back on. I smiled and handed it to mom, “Try this one on.”

“Hmm,” She looked at it, “I don’t know about that one.” “Just try it on. You’d be surprised at how beautiful it could be. Don’t judge a dress by it’s hangar,” I pushed. “Okay… okay,” She grabbed the dress. “Good, I think you’ll like it,” I smiled. “Okay. I’ll try it on,” She said. Then she walked over to the dressing room, “see, I’m trying it on.”

“Thank you,” I said following her. She closed the door and I hear the hangars cling to the hook. Just as she did that, a girl came out of the dressing room. She had on a beautiful black strapless sparkly dress. It was a long “V” neck, and fell to the floor. There was a long slit stopping mid-thigh. She had long blond hair with light brown streaks, and it was straight but fell into light waves near the bottom. She was about my age and height. I was stuck staring at her, and then mom tapped on my shoulder. I snapped and looked at her. She was smiling, “I swear it’s not what you think.”

“Uh huh. Checking out girls in the dressing room. I think it’s exactly what it looks like,” She put her hands on her hips. The dress was the first pink one I handed her. I could tell she was saving the second for last. This one went to her knees, and had skinny straps. It was a pastel baby pink. “I just really liked the dress she’s wearing,” I lied. “Uh huh. Okay,” She said unconvinced, “What do you think?” “Her or you?” I joked. “Me dork,” She replied.

“I don’t know. You look good… Try on the other one,” I answered, she sighed saying, “Okay,” Then walked back in and shut the door. I looked back to where the girl was, and she was gone. The dressing stall she had come out of was closed again. Then she came out in a dress that was blood red. It stopped at her knees, but was loose. It had a sash going around the waist, and had tank top-like straps. She looked at herself in the mirror side to side. When she caught me looking at her, her confidence faded. She got shy and gave me a small giggle.

“I don’t normally do this, but a friend of my cousin’s wedding is coming up, and I needed to dress up for it,” She said nervously, her voice was low. I shrugged, and mom came out of the dressing room catching my attention again. This time she was wearing the second one I had handed her. It was coral pink and showed cleavage, but not too much. It was long-sleeved, and fell to her knees. She looked beautiful.

The girl walked over, and looked at her in awe. “Wow, you look beautiful,” She complemented my mother. “Agreed,” I said watching her walk over to the stand-up mirror to look at herself, “You look great.” “Thank you,” She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. Left then right, then she turned and looked at her back in the mirror. It was just a normal tank top like back. You could see the small red butterflies that were tattooed on her shoulder as though they were flying, “I really like this one. I think this is the one.”

“I told you you’d like it,” I said proudly, “If there’s one thing I know… Things don’t look like they would on the hangar. Sometimes that’s how poor dresses are left untouched. No one even gives them a chance.” “That pink looks really good on you, Ma’am,” The girl said. “Thank you,” Mom replied accepting her complement, “What’s your name?”

“Naomi,” The girl answered, “Naomi Reynolds.” “Hello. My name is Madeline, and this is my daughter, Lydia,” Mom introduced. I shook Naomi’s hand. “Lydia’s a beautiful name,” Naomi said softly, just like her hands. “Thank you,” I said, “So is Naomi.” “Thank you. You are too sweet,” Naomi smiled. “That’s my little girl,” Mom laughed. “Mom,” I face palmed embarrassed.

“Okay well… I’m gonna go and pay for this dress, and Lydia and I are going to get shoes that would go with it,” Mom said walking back into the dressing room. “Well… Looks like I better get out of this one, too,” Naomi said walking away, “It’s the last one.” “It looks nice you should go with it,” I complemented. “Thank you. You seem to know your dresses,” She closed the door to the dressing room, and they both ended up coming out at the same time. “I like fashion,” I smiled.

Mom was wearing blue jeans with a pastel green t- shirt. Naomi was wearing an emerald-like green plaid sun dress. They were both carrying their dresses. The three of us walked over to the register. Naomi made it there first, and was walking out when she stopped. She turned to me, and waved for me to walk over. “Lydia?” She called to get my attention. “Yeah?” I asked walking over. “I’m not much of a confident person, so I’m going to put it this way. How about I give you my number, and I’ll tell you all the complements I get on the dress at the wedding?” She smiled, causing me to laugh a little.

“I would love to hear all about it,” I said pulling out my phone and unlocked it. I saw the picture of Nora. I must have not heard the text come in. I was scared she’d seen it. I deleted out of the text, and took it to where she could dial her number. She took the phone from me and punched in her number, and then she saved it under her name. When she finished, she handed it back to me. “Who’s the ginger?” She asked. “Uh… My ex-girlfriend.” I answered. Then I felt really stupid because I didn’t want it to come out like that.

“You still talk to her?” She asked looking at me a bit nervous. “What? No!” That made me a bit nervous. I had to explain, “She won’t stop texting me, it’s driving me up a wall.” “I could kick her ass for you,” She smiled, “That’ll get her to leave you alone.” “No thank you. Hopefully she’ll stop after a while,” I denied, then the phone dinged and her picture lit up on the screen. We both stared at it and laughed, “ You know what? I might just take you up on that option.”

“I won’t do it for free though. I really should get going. It was nice to meet you, Lydia,” She said walking away. “You too, Naomi,” I said as she disappeared out the exit down the hallway. Mom appeared behind me and cleared her throat making me jump, “Mom… Don’t do that.” “Do what?” She asked trying to look confused even though she wasn’t. “Never mind. Let’s go and get some shoes for our dresses,” I frowned walking down the hallway to the shoe store.

“Hey looks like you did come out of here with something.” She smiled. “What?” I looked at her with a smile. “A Number,” She laughed, and I laughed along with her, “Maybe you should have her come over while Connor and I are out.” “I could, but she may be busy. Do you think that I could do your hair?” I asked with a hopeful smile. “Sure why not?” She shrugged. “Yay!” I gave a small cheer, “You’re going to look so beautiful. You won’t regret it!”

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“Well…” Mom began as I wrapped her hair around the wand. She gave me a look in the mirror. “Well what?” I asked confused. “Did you call her? Is she coming?” She asked. “Mama, would this conversation be different if Naomi were a boy?” I asked unamused. “Yes, because a girl can’t get you pregnant,.” She replied, as I dropped a curled hair down her neck, and hair sprayed it so it would stay. “Did you call her yet? Please tell me you called her.” I sighed saying, “Yes I texted her yesterday after we got home.”

“What did she say?” She asked. “She said that she’d come,” I answered. “YES!” She cheered in the chair. “Seriously mom?” I frowned. “What? I don’t want you to be alone while I’m walking around with Connor,” She said, “When is she getting here?” My phone dinged right after she asked. I looked at it and there wasn’t a picture yet, but Naomi’s name appeared on it. “What does it say?”

“She’s here,” I said reading the text. “Go. I’ll wait,” Mom said, and I walked down stairs to open the door. Both Naomi and Connor were standing in the door way. “How funny you both should get here at the same time,” I laughed. “Hey, Lydia. Is your mother ready yet?” He asked. “Nope,” I popped the ‘p’. “Hey,” Naomi smiled. “Thank you for coming,” I smiled back at her, “Naomi… this is Connor, my mom’s boyfriend. Connor this is Naomi. Mom and I met her at the mall a couple days ago.” I introduced.

“Geez is your mom going crazy?” He asked. “Like a typical mother. Y’all come on in,” I moved from the doorway. “No problem, and thanks for being fully dressed this time,” He replied, and Naomi gave me a confused look. “Long story,” I said to her, “So, Connor you can stay down here and watch TV. Naomi, would you like to come up and help.”

“Sure,” Naomi said walking up the stairs. “Wait…” Connor looked at me, “Is Naomi…?” “CONNOR!” I stopped him. Naomi looked at me even more confused. I looked at her, and followed her up the stairs, “It’s nothing. He’s asking if you’re… Like me.” “Lesbian?” She asked, and I stopped in my tracks. “Yeah,” I said a little nervous that She’d be offended by the question.

“Yes,” She said confirming that she was a lesbian. “Really? It’s kind of hard to tell,” I smiled trying to lighten the mood for myself. “Is it really?” She smiled as we walked down the hallway to my mother’s room, “May be because I don’t wear pony-tails like people would associate. Your hair looks nice by the way.” “Thank you. I did it in California,” I said.

“So what exactly do you want me to do?” She asked before we walked in. “Her make up,” I answered opening the door. “Hey Naomi. Good to see you again,” Mom greeted with a bright smile. “Wow her hair is looking nice,” Naomi said looking at her make up, “Okay, is she wearing that pink dress she tried on in the mall?” “Yeppers,” Mom replied smiling. “Alright, let’s get you prettied up for your date,”

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An hour later, Naomi and I walked down stairs to see tell Connor she was ready. He stood up ready to see her. “We present to you… Madeline Hamilton,” I introduced. Then her heels clicked against the wooden stairs, and the three of us watched her come down the stairs. Connor looked at her shocked at how beautiful she looked. Her hair curled past her shoulders, and her make up matched her dress but looked pretty. Her shoes were black, and they matched her clutch and jacket.

“Wow. You girls did a great job,” He said to us without moving his eyes from mom. She walked over to him. Her smile was very wide, and he grabbed her hand, “You look beautiful, Madeline.” “You two go have some fun,” Namoi said. “But not too much fun. I don’t need a sibling,” I joked. Mom leaned in and whispered in his ear, and a huge mischievous grin appeared on his face. “Yeah, I can do that,” He chuckled. “Okay, time for you to go then,” I said embarrassed by them while being in front of Naomi. “Oh please. That’s not even half of what I was thinking,” Connor’s smile didn’t fade. He held out his arm, “Shall we?”

“We shall,” Mom replied taking his arm, and soon they were out the door and gone. “Well, Naomi thank you for coming tonight. Don’t think that I could spend another moment alone,” I said turning to Naomi after they left. “It’s no problem, Lydia,” She returned, “I kind of wanna see your room.” “Why?” I asked kinda confused, “I haven’t got it all cleaned up or anything. “Well you can tell a lot about a person by what’s in their room.” “Really. Well I mean… If you want to,” I walked upstairs and she followed behind me. I opened the room to my door and turned on the light, “Sorry about the mess.”

“What mess? Your room’s plain as hell,” She laughed. I laughed along with her. “I just moved in a week ago,” I informed. “What? But your mother’s been in town for years. I never knew her, but I’ve seen her before,” She gave me a confused look. “I lived with a foster family for the past five years, and just got to come back home a week ago. Then I got myself into a bit of a depression, and didn’t leave my bed until yesterday,” I explained.

“Why did they take you away? Your mom seems amazing,” She asked. “She is amazing. She’s the best mother in the world. Me getting taken away was a huge misunderstanding, and a very long story,” I answered. “I’ve got time,” She sat on the bed, and I sat down next to her. “Well my mom and her mom weren’t the best of friends. I was never told why, but my grandmother hated my mother. They never got along, but my mother, I guess, thought that I should know and spend time with my grandmother. One day, my grandmother was over visiting while my dad was at work. We were up here, but I went to go downstairs for a drink. I didn’t know she was behind me, and she shoved me.”

“Wait… your mom or your grandma,” She asked not understanding who I meant by ‘She’. “My grandma,” I answered, “She pushed me, and I fell down the stairs. My mother rushed me to the hospital with a broken arm. The three of us went to court. I tried to tell them that it was my grandmother who really did it, but no one listened to me. In fact they thought that it was my mother, and I tried telling them, but they didn’t listen to me. They believed that blaming an old woman was wrong. After that, my mother wasn’t allowed to be around me or my grandmother. I was put into foster care, and never had anymore contact with my parents.”

“Where was your father in the middle of all this?” “Trying to comfort me. The whole thing was stressful for all of us, and he knew mom would never hurt me. But… It was his word against theirs. There wasn’t anything he could’ve done,” I explained. “I’m so sorry Lydia. You don’t deserve any of this. You’re a good person,” She apologized. “Don’t be sorry, Naomi. It’s not your fault. You weren’t even here when it happened,” I smiled appreciating the gesture.

“I know, but sometimes you can’t help but feel sorry for someone,” She wrapped her arms around me, “And I feel sorry for you. You had a rough life, and that ex-girlfriend is a bitch for doing that to you.” “Eh. She just didn’t feel the love for me that I felt for her,” I shrugged,“If there really was love for her.”

“Was there love for her?” She asked. I could hear a bit of nervousness in her voice. Did she want to be with me? She always seemed a bit nervous when she brings up Nora and love in the same sentence. I paused and thought about it all for a moment. All this time Nora and I were together, I was jealous not secure. I was angry and not happy. I was afraid and not in love, “I’m sorry… That went a bit far.” “No. No. No. No. You’re good. It’s okay. I was just thinking about it,” I assured, then I sighed, “No there wasn’t really love there. I was just so afraid of being alone, that I didn’t think about what she’d done behind my back. I only worried about what she did in front of me. There wasn’t love… There was fear.”

“Well… She’s gone now. She’s not part of your life in that way anymore. Right?” She asked. “Right, but she won’t literally go away,” I said as my phone dinged. She took my phone from me and looked at it. “Why is her hair so orange? Did she dye it herself? Her hair looks like a carrot threw up all over it!” She smiled looking at Nora’s picture. I laughed with her as she asked, “What’s her name?”

“Nora,” I sighed, it was a party, spin the bottle, and her… That’s how I found out that I was a lesbian. Does she count as a first love if your not sure that you ever loved her to begin with?” “I don’t know, but I’m sure that you’ll find the answer once you find someone that you truly love,” She answered. I thought about it as she was talking. Someone I truly love? I wonder if that someone could be her. I know I only just met Naomi yesterday, but there was something about her that was sweet, and caring. I wonder if she feels the same way.

“Lydia?” She snapped her fingers in front of me. I shook away the thoughts and looked at her, “Huh? What?” “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” She asked laughing a bit. “Nope,” I answered, and she shook her head. “I said, ‘It looks like you’ve got a newer phone. You know I can show you how to block her number if you like’.” “You can do that?” I looked at her with sheer happiness.

“Yeah. Just unlock it for me,” She said, handing the phone to me. I typed in the password and handed it back to her. Then she tapped on my messages and held her thumb down on Nora’s number. A small menu pulled up, and she tapped on “block number”. Then another menu pulled up, and she tapped on yes. Then she handed the phone back to me, “There you go. Carrot top will no longer be texting you for as long as you have her blocked.”

“Maybe now I can have a good day… With you,” I smiled tossing my phone onto the nightstand from where we were sitting. “You’d consider a day with me good?” She smiled, “Oh, and considering that you were honest with me about your past, I should let you know something… Kind of important.” “What’s that?” I asked looking at her confused. “Well… My parents don’t know… that I’m a lesbian,” She said nervously. “Why not?” I asked her confused. “Well I’m nervous about telling them,” “Are they religious?”

“Not really no, but they have a major problem with the whole gay and lesbian situation. I’m surprised that they haven’t figured it out,” Her speech faded, “So I was hoping that you could be patient about it.” “Wait… you actually wanted me to be your girlfriend,” I looked at her confused. Is she already wanting me to be her girlfriend? I’m not complaining, but… what?

“You did say that you’re afraid of being alone,” She looked at me and chuckled, “And I want someone to show to the world, but hide from my parents.” “Really?” I laughed. “Unless that’s not what you wanted,” She looked at me with a small smile. “I think I could live with it,” I said hugging her. Then I pulled back, “Wait… you don’t think that it would be too fast.”

“Well people jump into relationships all the time,” She argued, and she was right. People did jump into relationships fast. Some are so fast, it’ll make your head spin, and then they break up even faster. Fortunately, I believe that there’s something more to Naomi that I want to learn. So, of course, I’d be happy to be her girlfriend. “What would be fast for you?” I asked confused. “I don’t know,” She replied, “I mean everything that I can think of would be exactly what other people do.”

“Like what?” I asked with a smile. “This,” She answered, and then she kissed me. Her lips were soft against mine as we kissed. Then she wrapped her arms around my waist, and she pulled me towards her. I did the same, and we held each other together. It was an amazing feeling that I’ve never felt before. Not with anyone… Not even with Nora. Naomi was soft and sincere and careful. Her right hand moved up my back. She held my head to hers, so that I couldn’t pull away.

Then I ran my hands down her back, and began to pull her shirt up. I was afraid that I had gone too far, but then she did the same thing. Eventually we were both shirt and bra-less, and we both were getting each other’s bottoms off. Trying our hardest to keep our lips attached. Then we got under the covers, and she had me on my back still kissing me. She was on top of me and she ran her fingers up my thigh.

I moaned against her lips as her fingers curled inside me. The feeling sending shivers down my spine and heated up my core. The more her fingers moved, the more that core heated up. She started to shift them in and out of me, until this burst of pleasure flowed through my body. The feeling was truly amazing. It was incredible, and I don’t think that anyone could make me feel that way but her. She was unforgettable.

\---------------------

The next morning, I didn’t forget that night. We’d fallen asleep after, and I woke up next to her in the bed. My vision was blurry, so I just kept my eyes shut before I strained them to a headache. I didn’t need a headache to ruin such a beautiful morning. She was behind me with her arm wrapped around me and we were holding hands. I wanted to get dressed, but I was comfortable and just laid there. I couldn’t help but smile, because I still had the incredible feeling from last night. I laid there and smiled and smiled, because somehow, I knew she was the one.

“Hey,” She whispered in my ear, “Are you up yet?” “Yeah,” I whispered back laughing, “You?” “Maybe,” She said kissing my neck. Then she let go of my hand and started brushing my hair back, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you opening your eyes?” “Oh, I just lost my contacts last night. I need my glasses, and I don’t want to move to get them.” “You wear glasses?” She sat up confused.

“Well… Contacts yea, but I lost my last pair… Last night.” I said keeping my eyes closed, “Do you think you could hand the glasses to me?” “Of course. Where are they?” She asked moving to get up. “In the drawer of the table on your side of the bed.” I answered. I felt her move over, and I knew that she leaned over that side of the bed. I sat up and waited on her to hand them to me. Then I felt her put them on my face.

I opened my eyes and could see her clearly. She looked so beautiful with the sunlight shining through the window. It made her beautiful, not that she already wasn’t It just made her look so angelic, “Thank you.” “No problem. By the way, I love the zebra print nerdy glasses,” She replied. “Thank you,” I smiled again. “They are so you though, you should wear your glasses more,” She complemented.

“For you, I might just do that,” I chuckled as she leaned down and kissed me again. “We should probably get dressed, I’m hungry,” She said. “So you come here, ask me to be your girlfriend, have sex with me, then eat my food?” I laughed. “Absolutely,” She said surely. “Well… I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I chuckled. “Good,” She said getting up. She uncovered her naked body and stood up. I caught myself staring at her body, and she knew it. She turned and faced me, and laughed. “Stop looking at my ass,” She ordered.

“Naomi, you’re my girlfriend now. You’d better get used to me looking at your ass,” I joked, and got up myself, and I walked over and grabbed my clothes from the dresser. I put on a pair of jeans with a bright red t-shirt and slipped on my black flats. She put on the clothes she wore here last night, which were her jeans and a t-shit as well. “You look good,” I chuckled. “Thank you,” She said in her bright and chipper voice, “Ready to go downstairs.”

“Yeah,” I answered, and we both walked out of the room. I noticed that mom’s door was left open, and her bed wasn’t made, “Looks like they made it back last night.” “Yeah, actually it was actually about three in the morning, and they were both drunk as hell,” “Did I fall asleep during?” I asked shocked. “No after, but Connor came yelling down the hallway. It woke me up,” She explained. “Really. What was he yelling?” I stopped and turned to her.

“It was all muffled, but a piece of it was on the lines of, ‘leave me alone… I’m taken’,” She laughed, “That’s when I got up to see what was going on. Your mom seemed upset, but then I walked over and asked who he belonged to. She was relieved when he said her name.” “Oh geez,” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah. It was a pretty strange event last night. I’m surprised you slept through it all,” She said as we continued walking down the stairs. “You’d be surprised at what I could sleep through, Naomi,” I frowned trying to send away the memories that had popped up. We made it halfway down when we smelled something delicious cooking. “Is that bacon?” She asked. “Yeah,” I answered taking a deep breath. Mom was cooking breakfast. “I hadn’t had bacon in forever,” She said. “Well my beautiful girlfriend, get ready for an enjoyable breakfast,” I said walking her into the kitchen.

“Good morning, girls,” Mom greeted with a smile, “You two have fun last night?” “Did you?” I asked pretty much knowing the answer. “Well I went in to check on you, and I noticed that you two got more action than I did last night,” She joked, “Took me another hour to get his drunk ass to realize that I _am_ Madeline. By that time, I was too frustrated for sex.” “I’m sorry,” I frowned. Then she turned to me for the first time and was shocked by the glasses. Her eyes widened.

“Where did those come from?” She asked after a good minute. “Oh, I’ve had them for a while. I was wearing contacts since I’ve been here. I didn’t expect to be losing those damned things anytime soon, so I didn’t want to say anything yet. I lost my last pair last night.” I said looking at Naomi, and she blushed and smiled, “Well anyways, I now have to wear my glasses. More trustworthy than contacts anyway. I guess.”

“They look good on you,” She complimented. “That’s what I said,” Naomi added. “Where’s Connor anyway?” I asked confused. “He already left for work,” She answered, “After a very long and sincere apology.” “Well, with a house as big as his… Surprised he’s not a workaholic,” I joked. “You know, I said the exact same thing when he took me there for the first time,” She laughed, “Wait… so does this mean that you two are together now?” “Yeah, but mom… you can’t tell her parents,” I frowned, “They’re like crazy against LGBT couples.”

“They don’t know?” She asked confused. She looked back and forth between us, then sighed. “Alright, but Naomi, you’ll have to tell them eventually,” She frowned. “I know, but they’re a little scary, if I’m being honest, Ms. Hamilton. They tried to get my aunt and uncle to send their gay son away from them. Like mental institution away. Luckily they didn’t listen,” She explained. I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

“But you are their child. They may be it bit more tolerant with you,” Mom said making a plate, “Breakfast is ready.” “Actually Ms. Hamilton, they weren’t with my brother,” Naomi argued. “Is everyone in your family gay?” I laughed. “My sister isn’t. She’s Bi-sexual,” Naomi smiled, but I could still see the panic in her eyes. “Is it even possible for straight parents to have so many… not straight children? I don’t really understand this kind of biology,” I laughed.

“Eh, we’ve dealt with it by not telling mom and dad. As soon as Lucy was old enough, she left. Brian left too,” Naomi explained. “So they just left you to deal with them. What if they find out? They’d be pissed!” “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’d rather just not tell them and do the same as Brian and Lucy. Then leave them to wonder why their children left them and don’t ever come to visit,”

“So… you’re just no going to tell them, eh?” Mom smiled and sat down at the table to eat, and we did the same. “That’s what I’d prefer,” Naomi answered. “Well, what are you going to do if they do find out?” I asked. “I don’t know, it depends on what _they_ do when they find out,” She answered as we all ate. “Maybe you should tell them?” Mom asked. “Mom,” I frowned with a warning tone. “I’m sorry, but what if she did tell them, and they _were_ a bit more tolerant?” Mom explained herself. “I highly doubt that, Ms. Hamilton. They weren’t like that with my cousin. The son of my mother’s favorite sister,” Naomi said. 

“I’m sorry, could we please just change the subject,” I asked, seeing that it was putting Naomi in an uncomfortable mood. “Lydia, how about we go out and do something today?” Naomi suggested trying to change the subject, as mom had left the kitchen. “JUST TAKE YOUR PHONE WITH YOU!” Mom yelled from upstairs. “OKAY!” I yelled back.

“I just thought we’d have a real first date. My uncle Dominic owns a diner in town. What do you think?” She asked walking towards the door. “Does he know?” I asked getting a little nervous about him finding out and telling her parents. “Yeah, he’s helping me keep it a secret,” She answered laughing. “So you take all your girlfriends there?” I asked jokingly.

“Not really, no,” She answered with a frown, “Uncle Dom can be a bit strange. I don’t normally trust him to be any less… inappropriate. But meeting your mom and her boyfriend, I think you’ll get along just fine.” “Wow,” I took her hand, and we walked out the door together, “Won’t take any other girlfriends to see your family, but you’ll take me to see an inappropriate uncle. Naomi, you are something else.”

  



	5. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Naomi's Anniversary Date

Days turned to weeks, to months. Eventually, Naomi and I were spending everyday together. Time went by fast, and before I knew it we were celebrating our three month anniversary. Not only were we celebrating our anniversary, but we were also celebrating my seventeenth birthday.

Naomi was amazing, and always spent time with me. Never once did she ever leave me at a table to hang with someone else, and if she ever got up to dance… it was with me. She loved me, and I loved her, too. Tonight was going to perfect just like every other night. I was afraid to tell her I loved her, and even though I’ve already told her multiple times before, tonight I wanted to tell her and mean it. Neither of us wanted to say it first, because it’s usually what makes the relationship go to shit. Just like mine and Nora’s did. Naomi’s nothing like Nora, but I don’t understand why I was still afraid.

I walked up to Nora’s front door and knocked. A woman answered. She had brown hair with hints of silver throughout it. Her eyes were light green, and she was wearing a dark blue robe. “Hello,” She greeted with an angry tone. “I- I’m sorry Miss Reynolds… I-is something wrong?” I asked nervously. I was scared that Naomi had told her, and she took it didn’t go very well.

“I’m sorry, Lydia,” She said. She check her tone and it was lighter. I gave a hidden sigh of relief, “I was just in a slight argument with Naomi’s father. Come in… Come in. She’s upstairs in her bedroom.” “Thank you.” I said as she moved from the door way and I walked through letting out a breath of relief when she wasn’t looking.

“You remember where it is. Don’t you?” She asked. “Always,” I chuckled nervously. “You two have fun tonight,” She said. “Thank you,” I walked down the hallway and knocked on the bedroom door. “WHO IS IT?” Naomi’s voice came from the other side. “LYDIA!” I yelled back. Then a moment later she opened the door.

“Lydia. I- You’re early,” She hugged me, and pulled me inside the room, “Happy Birthday.” “Thank you, Happy anniversary,” I said as she grabbed a small birthday bag that was sitting on her bed, and turned to me. “You ready to go?” She asked. “Yeah, what’s in the bag?” I looked curiously at the bag in her hands. “That’s your birthday gift, silly,” She answered, “You’ll get it later.”

“Then let’s hurry up and go,” I said walking out of the room. She followed me down the hallway, and out the front door. She didn’t say a word to her parents. I waited for her to shut the front door, and still whispered just to be sure, “You didn’t tell them, did you?” “No. We just already went over all the rules,” She replied, “I thought you wanted me to tell them?” “I do, but I don’t want this huge thing on my birthday.”

“That’s why I’m waiting,” She replied with a frown, “I really don’t want to tell them, but I think they suspect something’s up considering all my time is spent with you. They learned about Brian,” She frowned. “What? How?” I asked. “He told them. They’ve been arguing for the past few days, and have even asked me multiple times if I was… like him,” She explained. “Shit, I’m so sorry,” I apologized. “It’s okay,” She assured, “Tonight is your night. Let’s focus on the good and have some fun.” “You betcha,” I agreed.

“Come on girls… You two are going to be late.” Connor called from the car. “We’re coming.” I called back. Mom was in the passenger seat, so Naomi and I had to get in the back. We closed the door and seat belted, so he would actually drive off.

We stopped at the restaurant that we’d planned to dine at, and Naomi, mom, Connor, and I walked in to get our table. We sat and ate and talked the night away. My curiosity kept getting the best of me, and Naomi watched as my eyes shot towards the birthday bag. She scoffed and set it in front of me.

“Gods, you are an impatient one. Go on… open it,” She scoffed. “You’re just now noticing it?” I asked reaching into the tiny bag, and pulled out a ring box. I opened it and there was a ring inside. It was thin with a small diamond in the center. I was in shock, “Naomi…” “It’s a promise ring, Lydia,” She explained holding my hand, “It’s a promise from me to you that I will always love you.”

“Thank you so much, Naomi,” I said sliding the ring onto my finger. I leaned over and kissed her, “I love it. It’s perfect.” “I love you,” She said hugging me. I was shocked at first. She said it. We’d been arguing and arguing about who would say it first, and she said it first. She meant it. “I love you, too,” I replied with a smile. I was so happy that tears were pouring down my cheeks as we kissed.

“On a side note: I don’t think any of us are expecting desert from here,” Connor joked. I gave him a glare, mom play slapped his arm, and Naomi giggled. “Connor, though that was cute, I don’t think you should joke about that,” Mom laughed, “Why don’t we all head home? It’s getting late.” “Okay,” I said getting up from the seat. Naomi did the same, and we walked out of the restaurant holding hands. We were soon outside waiting on mom and Connor to pay the bill.

“Maybe we should tell them,” I suggested. It was kind of out of the blue for my own thoughts. “What?” She asked looking at me. “You’re parents,” I cleared. “No,” She replied almost on instinct. “Naomi, we’ve been together for three months,” I tried. “Lydia, it doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together. It’s not going to make a difference to their reactions,” She said tensely. “You’re right, it’s not… but it will make a difference to us,” “You really believe that?” She asked with a light voice, as though she’d thought the same thing but was afraid to voice it.

“Yeah. Naomi, they’ll find out eventually. We’ve made it three months without them finding out. How can we go any longer without them knowing? It’s unnatural, and… well… Just think about how upset they’d be if they found out _without_ you telling them,” I tried reasoning. “You may be right, but just think about what they’d do,” She said, “Lydia… My cousin told them he was lesbian, and they tried to get my aunt to send him away.” “I remember the story. Remember you’ve already told me this. You’re graduated, Naomi. They can’t control you anymore. There’s nowhere they can send you without your consent,” I said holding her hand.

“You’re probably right, but what about mental institutions?” She asked. “Naomi, they don’t take patients ito an institution for being lesbian,” I said with a ‘be reasonable’ tone to my voice. “But that’s why I haven’t told them yet. They’ll try to!” She looked at me and grabbed my other hand. Now she was holding both my hands in both her hands, “Lydia… I love you so much, and the last thing I’ve ever wanted was to hurt you. If I told my parents about us… we’d both get hurt.”

“Okay,” The thought of us having to break up because of her parents hurt. I didn’t want to lose Naomi. She was the only one for me, and the only one who ever treated me right. I loved her. I loved Naomi. I hugged her and kissed her, “I love you.” “I love you, too,” She replied. She sounded a bit upset that she’d gotten her way. Maybe she didn’t like having to convince me that I was wrong about something… knowing that I was right.

“Alright kiddos,” Connor said as he and mom walked out, “Get in the car.” “Okay.” I said, and Naomi and I walked to the car and got in the back. We’d dropped Naomi off at her home, and she blew me a kiss before she went inside. Then we drove home before. I walked upstairs and went to bed.

The next day, Naomi didn’t call or text me. I didn’t want to seem annoying or anything, so I only sent a couple of texts and waiting for her. She didn’t get home ‘till late last night, so I figured she’d been sleeping all day… but she didn’t call at all. I was upset waiting on her call, or maybe even a text. I waited and waited. I even kept my phone on me the whole time.

It wasn’t until a couple days after the dinner, when she finally called me. I was in my room when her ringtone, “Cheerleader” by Omi, started playing. I quickly answered it. I was excited she finally called me, but that excitement turned to sadness because she was in tears. I could hear the catch in her throat. “Naomi what happened? Are you okay?” I asked worried. “Lydia, I- they found out,” She said. “What?!” Shock was clear in my voice, and fear sent shivers down my spine.

“I don’t know how, but they found out about us. They were pissed off,” She wept. I was scared about what she’d say next, “I had to tell them about me.” “So they know we’re together?” I asked very worried about this. “Yeah,” She sighed almost defeated, “They said I had to break up with you, and they’re sending me to my grandmother’s in L.A.” “L.A.?” I nearly yelled, “You can’t move to L.A.” “I have to. They’re going to make me,” She sobbed, “Lydia, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how they found out.” “Did you ask them?” “They snooped through my phone and found a picture of us kissing,” She answered between sobs, “I’m so sorry Lydia.” “Naomi calm down. We’ll… we’ll figure something out. Just calm down,” I said mainly to myself.

“I can’t. My parents are forcing me to break up with the person I love, and I’m stuck outside in the cold,” She said, anger flooded through my veins. “They locked you out?” I asked angrily. “No I snuck out. I’m waiting for someone to answer your door,” She replied sniffling. “O- Okay, I’m on my way out,” I ran downstairs past mom and Connor in the kitchen. I opened the door, and she was standing there waiting on me. We walked up to my room and slid out the window onto a low part of the roof. We watched the stars and talked. “Naomi?” “What?” She laid her head on me, and I wrapped my arm around her.

“When are they making you leave?” I asked not really wanting to know the answer, just trying to break the silence. “Friday,” She answered. I was shocked at how soon, “They want me out as soon as possible. They can’t bear to live under the same roof as an abomination.” “Do you think you could make me a promise?” I asked looking over at her. “What?” She asked looking back at me. “You’ll come back,” I choked. She looked at me and saw the tears run down my cheeks. She moved my glasses and wiped them off.

“Of course I will come back, Lydia,” She answered, “As soon as I turn eighteen.” “But that’s…” “About a year,” She kissed me, “I love you, and no matter what… I will come back to you.” “Will you?” I didn’t want her to leave. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I was losing her. I needed her. She completed me, “Don’t miss a single day of calling me.” “I… uh…” She began, and my heart sank… more bad news. “What?” I asked shakily. “They’re shutting down my phone, they’re cutting off my allowance, they’re taking away every form of communication that I have,” She explained.

“Then take mine,” I said, “Mom will get me a new one. She’ll understand.” “Lydia,” She gave me the ‘real’ look. Which she only gave me when I was being unreasonable. Then I broke down and started sobbing, “I just love you so much, Naomi. This can’t be happening. I don’t want it to happen, you- you can’t leave me. You can’t go. Naomi, you have no idea how hard it was to live _my_ life… alone. I’ve always been alone, and you made me better. You gave me the half of my heart that I was missing. Naomi, I love you so much. Please… there must be something that can be done.” “There isn’t,” She said, and we cried together. “I need you, Naomi. There’s gotta be something. Move in here… with me,” I suggested. “I can’t, Lydia. They won’t let that happen. Just please… I promise you, I will be back. I swear,” She said.

“Naomi, do you even want to be with me?” I asked looking at her sadly. “Why would you ask that?” She frowned, “I’m not eighteen. I’m seventeen, Lydia. I can’t just move in with you!” Then she realized why I asked it, “No Lydia. We’re not breaking up. We’re going to stay together. However, if you do find someone better than me, then you have my permission to move on…” “I don’t think I could find someone better than or as good as you, Naomi. You gave me everything I was missing, and now I’m losing it all over again,” I sighed then stood up and walked back in the room.

“Lydia,” She frowned getting up and following me in, “Lydia, don’t- don’t do this. Please.” “I’m losing everything, Naomi, and you’re asking me to not act like it,” I frowned plopping on the bed. “Don’t go into your depression fit, Lydia. Please don’t. It’s not fair!” She begged.

“Not fair? Not fair?! Naomi, THIS isn’t fair! You’re being forced to leave me because of something that you can’t change! Let me tell you about something that’s not fair!” I snapped, and I was nearly yelling at her. I hated even the thought of yelling at her, but I was so angry and sad that I couldn’t control it, “I was taking away from my parents over something that my mother didn’t do, and forced into foster care with drug dealers and abusers, and the father there raped me on multiple occasions! Let’s not forget that I had to find out through Connor _A WEEK BEFORE WE MET_ that my father had died while I was in foster care, after seeing a picture of him and my mother together! I had the worlds worst girlfriend who cared nothing about me! I finally found a girl who cares about me and loves me, and she’s being taken away from me! I have had literally the WORST life that could be given to a teenage lesbian! And you want to tell me that going into my depression fit isn’t fair?!” I yelled. 

“He- he raped you?” She said in shock. Her mouth partially opened. I’ve told her multiple things about what my faster father did. The dealing, the using, the stealing… Not once have I ever mentioned that he’d raped me. I sighed, “Yes, he did.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked. “It- it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re leaving me,” I frowned looking away signaling that I was done with the conversation. I figured that after snapping at her like that, she definitely didn’t want to even try to be with me.

I  then felt her hand on my arm, and I turned and looked at her. “Lydia, I- I’m so sorry for everything. I- I promise that I will be back. I swear on my life that I will come back to you as soon as I turn 18. Okay?” She said reassuringly. I sniffled, and wiped away my tears, “Okay.” She leaned in and kissed me, “I love you, Lydia.” And my heart leaped. Just knowing that she still loved me, made me a bit happy, but it was a bittersweet happy because she was leaving. It’s the last time I’m going to hear her say it for a long time.

“I won’t forget you, Naomi.” I frowned, “I hope to remember everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, you lips, your body. It’s Imprinted in my mind, because you, Naomi Reynolds, have given me the love and care and patience that Nora couldn’t. You’ve cared for me more than she did, and you treated me better than she did. Even if I were able to find someone any bit as close as you… they could never be you.” “So that’s it? We’re breaking up?” She frowned. “Naomi, how are we supposed to keep up a long distance relationship if we can’t even communicate with one another?” I asked. “We’ll find a way,” She said more tears rushing down her cheeks. 

“I love you, Naomi… but there may not be a way,” I frowned, “Just like there isn’t a way for you to stay here.” “Communication is different from presence,” She said, “There are many ways we can keep in touch. You’re just losing hope. Please don’t do that.” “Goodbye Naomi,” I said ignoring her comment. The depression fit in me was not wanting to listen to false hope, even if she was right. “Lydia,” She frowned, but gave in. She pressed a kiss to my cheek and left the room… taking my heart with her.


	6. Cure for Sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madeline and Connor finds a way to cheer Lydia up while Naomi's gone

Naomi and I hadn’t really kept contact. There would be an email here or a letter there. I didn’t reply to some because I didn’t want to give myself hope where there may not be. She would send the emails even though I didn’t reply. She was trying, and I give her credit for that.

I missed her, but I didn’t want to hope that she’d come back anymore. It’s California, who would go to California and leave it. I was in a horrible foster family, but she’s with her grandmother. The old bat could kick the bucket and leave Naomi everything, just because she was there. That would leave me all alone… again. I missed Naomi so much, but I didn’t want to tell her that. If she was ready to move on, then I wasn’t going to give her a sob story that would make her come back.

After about four months, she stopped the emails. I hadn’t heard anything at all from her after that. It did upset me, but I had no one to blame but myself for her stopping. I’m the one who gave up so immediately. To be honest, I gave up right after she’d left. I wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye to her at the airport. I knew I wouldn’t be able to send her off, that’s why I’d said goodbye when she left my house the night I found out she had to leave.

I didn’t want to feel so alone, but I did. I forced myself to be alone. I forced myself not to reply to her emails. I forced myself to not even read them. I forced myself into this position, and now I hate myself for doing so. I hated the way that I treated her. I was just so angry that I was losing her, and I was preparing myself to do so.

And today only proved my point. Today is a couple days after her birthday. Today is the day she told me she’d be coming back. She’d sent it in one of the emails that I read from her. I did read some, but not all of them. I sat out on the roof hoping that at some point she’d show up. It wasn’t a big hope, because I’d understand why if she doesn’t show up today.

The morning wind blew all around me. Then I saw a car pull up in the driveway. It was an unfamiliar car, so I’d thought that maybe it was her. A small spark of hope entered my heart, but was completely diminished when my aunt got out of it with my cousin, Maddie, and some other girl I don’t recognize. She had a bobbed hair cut that was blonde with pink tips, and she was wearing a pink tank top with blue shorts and a pair of black sneakers. I sighed, got up, and walked back into my room.

“Lydia!” Mom called from downstairs. Now I got to entertain some guests… wonderful. I threw my flannel on over my black shirt and shorts, then slipped on my vans and walked down the stairs. My aunt, cousin, and their guest were waiting in the living room with mom and Connor. “Hi, Aunt Marge, Maddie, and- you,” I greeted with a confused expression. “Oh, um… Lydia, this is my friend Ashley,” Maddie introduced, “Ashley this is Lydia, my cousin.” “Pleasure to meet you,” Ashley greeted with a British accent. “And you,” I smiled politely. 

“Marge and Maddie are here to help us plan the wedding,” Mom explained. “Oh, okay,” I sighed remembering that Connor had proposed to mom a couple days ago. Aunt Marge is a wedding planner. “Lydia, is everything alright?” Aunt Marge asked. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied, and mom was the one to sigh this time. “Lydia’s has depression, and has been a bit… off for a while,” Mom explained. I didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed or angry about her telling them about my problems. “Oh, honey… I’m so sorry,” Aunt Marge said solemnly. 

“It ain’t your fault, I don’t know why you’re sorry,” I frowned. “Sometimes you just can’t help but feel sorry for someone,” She said. The words cutting me like a knife. They were the exact same words that Naomi had said to me the night we… started dating. That made me angry, but I couldn’t be mad at Aunt Marge. She didn’t know that. “Mom, can I go back upstairs now?” I asked a little frustrated. “Honey? Are you sure you don’t want to stay down here? You are the Maid of Honor,” Connor asked. “Give it to Maddie, I don’t want to be the Maid of Honor,” I frowned, and walked up the stairs fighting tears.

“I’m so sorry,” I heard mom apologize as I walked further up the stairs. I shut my door and leaned against it for a moment. Tears rushing down my cheeks. Then I walked over to the window and crawled out onto the roof, and sat there. It was quite with the exception of the occasional laugh I could hear coming from mom, Connor or the others. I jumped a bit when I heard someone crawl out the window. 

“Hey!” Connor said walking over and sitting next to me. “What do you want?” I asked. The question coming out a bit more rude than I wanted. “Well hello there, how are you today?” He asked sarcastically. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, not really wanting to be bothered right now. He sighed, “Lydia… I know you’re upset and hurting. I get it.” “Do you really?” I frowned, but the question came out sarcastically, and he took a deep breath. “I do. I loved someone a long time ago, and she left me for someone else. But you want to know who would understand you a lot more?” He asked. 

“Who?” I asked. “Your mother,” He answered, “Did you not think about how she must’ve felt after your father died?” “She has you, Connor. She’s not alone,” “Anymore,” He said, “But she was alone right after he died. It wasn’t until a while later that we’d started dating.” “Okay, but you were able to end that for her. You make her happy, and you give her what _she_ used to give me,” I frowned looking away. “So. Why not take what Naomi did for you, and use that to make someone else feel special?” He asked. 

“You mean… move on?” I asked looking at him. “Not necessarily,” He said. “I can’t do that. I- I love Naomi too much to do that,” I frowned. “I’m not saying to move on. There are other ways to make someone else feel better about themselves without dating them. Why not… start that business you wanted to open up?” “You mean my clothing boutique?” I asked. “Yeah,” He smiled, “Why not do that?” “Because it’s stupid,” I frowned. “I think you’ll feel a lot happier once you get it on it’s feet,” He smiled. 

“I don’t have any money,” I frowned. “Right, right,” He said reaching into his jacket pocket. Then he pulled out a birthday card and handed it to me, “I wanted to give you this for your birthday in a few weeks, but I thought that maybe you deserve this a little sooner.” “A card?” I asked as he handed me the envelope the card was in. “Just open it,” He said. 

I sighed and ripped the envelope open and pulled the card out. Inside was a check made out to me. The amount written had threw me into shock. “Connor? Are you fucking serious?” I asked looking at him with a dropped jaw. “Yep,” He smiled a bit. “Thank you so much!” I threw my arms around him, a fit of joy over came the depression for the moment. “I figured that you’d need a project done, and I’ll let you keep the check on one condition,” He said. I pulled away, “Yes! Anything!” “You will be your mother’s Maid of Honor. She was really looking forward to you being in that position,” He said.

“Of course,” I said jumping up to my feet. He stood up as well. “Also… that’s not my only surprise,” He said. “There’s more?” I asked looking at him shocked. “Yeah, if you don’t mind taking a ride with me,” He said. “Um… sure,” I looked at him confused. “Good, come on,” He said gesturing to the window. We crawled back through and walked downstairs. 

“Where are you two headed?” Mom asked. “I’m going to take her to that surprise I told you about,” He replied. “Oh my God! Did you already give her the birthday card?” She asked. “Yeah,” He answered, “You coming?” “No. It was your surprise for her,” She said as she remained seated with Aunt Marge, Maddie, and Ashley. “Alright,” He said leading me out the front door.

\---------------

“Connor, where are we going?” I asked as he drove us into town. “Here,” He said as he pulled into the parking lot of a small old building in town. It used to be a florist shop, but it’d been abandoned a long time. “Why are we here?” I asked. “It’s a surprise,” He answered shutting off the car and opening his door. He got out, and I did the same. We walked up to the door. “Connor, isn’t this trespassing?” I asked nervously looking around.

“Not if you own it,” He answered pulling out a key ring with a bunch of keys on it. My mouth gaped open, “You- you bought the place?” “For you,” He answered handing me the keys. “You bought it for me?” I asked taking them from him. “Yep, she’s all yours, and the check can go into fixing it up and buying the supplies you need for the clothes, and maybe hiring some employees.” “Oh my Gods! Thank you so much!” I nearly yelled throwing my arms around him in excitement.

“Wanna go take a look?” He asked. “Yes!” I smiled unlocking the door. We walked in together and looked around. The smell was awful and the place was all but destroyed. “Well it’s not quite what I expected,” He said. “It’s an old building that was left alone for years, Connor. I expected it to smell and look terrible,” I chuckled excitement still coursing my veins.

“The building is two story, so I was thinking… if you absolutely wanted to, you could make the top floor your lounge, or factory,” He said. “Or apartment,” I added with a smile. “No, you can’t do that,” He said. “Why not?” I looked at him. “Well, your mom, and I planned to give you your father’s house when we got married. She’s going to move in with me in my house on the lake,” “Oh, I see,” I smiled. “So I get a store, money to get my store started, and a house?! This has turned out to be a very good day!” I cheered, and he laughed.

“I hoped that it could cheer you up,” He smiled. “Now, all I need is a car!” I jumped up and down. “Baby steps!” He joked, “My mother and father are working on that. They wanted to get you the car as a bribe to get you to consider them your grandparents.” “Seriously?” I asked. “Yep, they have the car,” He said, “Your mother’s having them bring it while we’re here. I figured you’d want to take some time to design the place. I have your journal in the car.”

“Oh my God!” I smiled running out of the building. I quickly dug in his car and grabbed my journal. I ran back in with it and started drawing in the building. “What are you going to call it?” He asked. “Hmm… I don’t know yet,” I said while I was drawing all the windows and things in, “Ooh! I got this new thing on my computer to where I could design a 3D model of the building with all the things I want to add to it.” “Really? That’s cool,” He said walking around with me. “You still have to think about the name,” He said. “I know,” I replied still drawing.

“Okay, so we could put the registers and stuff there!” I said pointing to the area. “We’ll clean up the bathrooms and make them all pretty. We could turn the back room into dressing rooms for those who want to try on the clothes. And make the top floor the loft for the employees on their break or sewing! And we can make the front windows bigger and use them for the mannequins!” I said planning on my sketches. “That sounds like a great idea,” Connor said, “I’m glad you like this.” “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to get started,” I smiled while sketching in where I wanted everything to go. I looked up at him, “You’ll help me right?”

“You want me to help?” He asked somewhat shocked. “Of course, Connor. You’re going to be my step-dad. I would love your help!” I said excitedly. “Then I would be happy to help you, Lydia,” He smiled gratefully. I looked up at him again. “Thank you, Conner,” I said sincerely and gratefully. “You’re welcome, Lydia,” He replied.

\-------------------

“There you two are! How did it go?!” Mom greeted as we walked back in. Aunt Marge, Maddie, and Ashley had already left. “It went well. At least, I’d say it did,” Connor answered as I quickly opened my journal to show mom my sketches. “Mama, what do you think about this?!” I asked showing them to her.

Then I pointed to certain items, “We could have the walls a bright pink, and the floors tile or carpet. I’m not quite sure, I need to think more on that. But we could put the racks over here, and keep the floor a bit open, and have a couple of mannequins here to show of the latest dresses and outfits! Do you like it?!” I asked. “Lydia, slow down just a bit,” Mom laughed. “Oh… sorry,” I smiled hugging the book close to my chest. “I take it you really like your presents, don’t you?” She laughed.

“I love them. Connor said that I’m also getting a car!” I jumped. Mom laughed and handed me the key, and I ran off to the garage where I know they hid it. I walked into the garage to see a dark blue car sitting there with a giant pink bow. It was a beetle or slug bug. I know some people call it different things. “Oh my Gods!” I nearly screamed.

“She likes it,” Connor said as I ran over to it. “Agreed,” Mom said high-fiving him. “It’s perfect!” I smiled looking at them. “I think, this will help keep her occupied for a while, don’t you?” Mom asked Connor. “Yep,” He agreed. “Can I get in it?!” I asked. “You’re 18, and about to have a job! Of course you can!” Mom yelled back.

“I’m going to take you out for a test drive, and then tomorrow I’m going to get started on cleaning up the building to turn it into the worlds best job!” I shouted opening the car door. I looked at mom in time to see her roll her eyes. I started the car, and smiled when the engine came to life. “Oh boy,” I smiled bouncing in my seat, “You’ve got a car, Lydia! You’re getting the house! You’ve got a store! It can’t get any better than this!”


	7. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naomi returns to North Dakota

I sat in a waiting chair thinking, and wondering if not going back when I promised was a good idea. I was afraid as to why she would rarely reply… then she just stopped all together. Thoughts and possibilities swam around my head like fish in an aquarium. _Did she find someone new? Did she just quit because she wanted to?_ _Did she really lose hope_ _?_ Part of me worried if something happened. If she was hurt or injured in some way… and I was afraid and ignored it.

“The flight to Minot, North Dakota is now boarding! I repeat the flight to Minot, North Dakota is now boarding!” The woman on the intercom said, and I stood up and walked over to the ticket stand.

It was four months passed my birthday, which was the day I was supposed to go back. The day I should’ve gone back. Curiosity finally brought me to the airport, even though there was a chance that she could’ve found someone new. I was boarding the plane heading to Minot, North Dakota. Where my Uncle would pick me up and take me to Dunseith.

I sat in my designated seat… by the window. Which isn’t bad when you’re _not_ afraid of heights, but I am. I was nervous, and tapped my foot because of it. I looked at my hands trying to take my mind off her for a moment, but was so hard to do so. She was so upset about me leaving, but it’s been almost a year and a half since she’s seen me.

Since I’ve seen her, and she just gave up. The thought of her circled my mind over and over again. It wasn’t long before tears streamed down my cheeks. I missed her so much, and I loved her more. It was two and a half hours of sheer anticipation. It was like watching a great movie, and it put you on the edge of your seat and left you with a cliff-hanger.

“Hello miss,” A man greeted as he sat next to me. I looked at him, and he held out his hand for me to shake. He had dark mahogany red hair, and light green eyes, “Kyle Sanchez.” “Naomi Reynolds,” I said shaking his hand. “Naomi,” He repeated, “What a beautiful name?” “Well, it’s my name,” I knew he was flirting with me, and I couldn’t wait to see his face shocked when I tell him, “It’s no use flirting with me.”

“Are you going to play hard to get?” He asked smiling, “Most girls don’t get that far with me.” “Well I’m not most girls,” I said leading him on. “Really?” He leaned in. Then he straightened back up, and cleared his throat, “All the girls are the same.” The comment made me upset. Not because I felt that I was different, but because I knew that Lydia was different. She’s not like most girls. She’s different, and his comment offended me. “Nope,” I answered, “Not all girls are the same.”

“What makes you say that?” “Why don’t you ask your mom?” I said with a sass. “Ouch, I didn’t mean to offend you,” He smiled. Then thought for a moment. “Are you a lesbian?” He asked.

“What?” I looked at him. “Are you as lesbian?” He asked, “Only a lesbian would try to put me off,” He replied. “Oh. Well yes I am a lesbian, and no… There are plenty of straight women who would put you off.” “No problem. I don’t mind a lesbian girl,” He smiled again, this time ignoring my insult, “Especially one as hot as you are. Honestly, if it weren’t for you leading me up to it… I would’ve never guessed.”

“Thanks.” I said sarcastically. He was silent for a while, and I stared back at the clouds. It was an evening flight so I watched the sky as the sun went down. The clouds were changing colors. Pink, purple, orange, red, yellow. Then sun set was very beautiful. I remembered when Lydia and I would sit on her roof and watch it every day. We’d hold hands and talk about just the most random shit. Sometimes she’d tell me her dreams of becoming a famous fashion designer. She was good, and she always knew the best things to wear. Just imagining her out there, designing and making her own styles and clothes. I remembered one conversation about it.

  


“What do you think, Naomi?” Lydia asked. She’d snapped me out of the daze I was in while looking at the sky. “Huh? ‘Bout what?” I looked at her. She was beautiful with the sunset glistening off her body. I smiled, and she scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I want to become a fashion designer,” She answered, “You know. I’d get to design clothes, and sell them. Can you imagine me with my own boutique?”

“Oh. I think it’s a great idea,” I said squeezing her hand, “You’re really good at it, and I know that you could do it.” “What about you?” She asked. “Oh me I don’t care what I do... just as long as I’m doing it with you by my side,” I answered holding her hand to my heart. She gave me a blushing smile, “I’m serious Lydia. No matter where you go, I will be right by your side. If you want to be a Fashion designer, then be a fashion designer. I’ve see your drawings, and you’ve got some great ideas.” “Really?” She scooted closer to me.

“Yes baby,” I answered and kissed her hand, “Of course. I’ll go with you wherever you go.” “Have I ever told you how much I loved you?” She asked putting her other arm around my shoulders. I leaned in and kissed her. Her warm, soft, and sweet lips were the reason I lived every day.

“Naomi, what do you think?” Kyle asked, snapping me back into reality. “What?” I asked frustrated at his interruption. “Well… I still think that there’s a chance for us two.” He pulled out his phone while answering. I pulled mine out trying to ignore is question.

I was upset that I couldn’t remember Lydia’s number. Otherwise there would’ve been a different kind of year for Lydia and I, and the thought that I couldn’t remember her number upset me. His phone lit up, and there was a picture of a girl with orange hair taking up the wall paper of his phone. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it. It must’ve been a long time ago. He locked it and looked at me. “What do you think?”

“I think that your girlfriend is really pretty,” I smiled putting my phone away. He rushed to put his phone away, “Mr. Sanchez, you seem to be forgetting that I’m a lesbian.” “No I’m not. You wouldn’t be the first lesbian that I dragged to the dark side.” “Like it or not, I will not be going to the ‘dark side’. Even if you _did_ have cookies.” I frowned.

“More like sausages,” He chuckled. “Oh that’s just gross. Do you have any manners or respect for women?” I asked getting frustrated, “You are so damn disrespectful that it makes me want to slap the hell out your mother for not teaching you how to respect women. Look dude. You are the biggest dick I’ve ever met, and my father sent me away just because I was gay.”

“Sorry,” He apologized sarcastically. Like _I_ was the asshole. “No. You’re not. Look there is NOT a chance for you and me. My heart belongs to the woman I’m going to see, so fuck you,” I flipped him off. He just annoyed me so much, “I would love it if you would just shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone. I will never date you, or your disgusting small ass dick.”

“Whatever,” He said under his breath, and he folded his arms and turned away, “Didn’t want to date your bitch ass anyway.” “At least I’m not trying to cheat on _my_ girlfriend,” I said looking back out the window. Then his phone rang, and he picked it up.

“Hello baby,” He answered, “No… stop… no… slow down… what… it’ll be another hour… I love you… no I love you… no I love you… no I love you… no I love you… no I love you.” “Great,” I said to myself. Then a flight attendant walked down the aisle. “Sir.” She said, getting his attention. “I’m gonna have to ask you to put your phone away.”

“Uh… miss,” I called for her attention as she waited for him to put his phone away. “Yes ma’am?” She asked. “Could I request a different seat?” I asked, “I’ve got a hundred if you could put me in first class.” She smiled and waved her hand, “Right this way ma’am.” “Thank God,” I said getting up and following her to first class seats.

I sat down, and smiled at her, “Thank you so much.” I pulled out my wallet and handed her the hundred dollar bill I had in my wallet. “Thank you. Is there anything else I can get you?” She asked. “Well, I’d say I’d like a drink, but I’m only 18,” I chuckled, “Do you have any pop?” “Pop?” She asked. “Soda? Soft drink?” I cleared. “Oh, yeah. I’ll be right back,” She replied walking away. I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

\----------------------

When we finally landed, it was ten. I grabbed my bag from the luggage claim, and walked out of the airport to find Uncle Dominic. He was waiting by the curb in his car, and I walked over and got in. “Hey Naomi,” He greeted. His silver hair was short and dark chocolate brown eyes were all too similar than a year ago,“You ready to go.”

“Yeah. My ride started out terrible, but then I begged for first class and felt so much better. By the way, I need some money,” I smiled looking at him. “You paid for the attendant to take you to first class didn’t you?” He asked. “Yep,” I smiled. “Well then I’ll take you home,” He chuckled pulling out of the parking lot to the airport.

“NO! I’m not going home!” I nearly yelled. “Relax sweetie,” He laughed, “I’m letting you stay at my apartment here. You do remember the apartment right?” “Oh,” I sighed, “Yea I do.” “Yeah. I figured you didn’t want to go back there. That’s the last damn place that I’d take you,” He started the car and drove off, “Next stop… Dunseith.”

It was about eleven when we arrived to the apartments he dropped me off at. He walked me up to the right one and showed me around. It was really pretty and clean. There were two bedrooms and two bathrooms. One was attached to the master bedroom, and the other was so every other room could get to it.

“Cleaned her up for you,” He said handing me a ring of two keys before he left. I looked at him as he opened the door. There were two keys. One was the key to the apartment, and the other was to a vehicle of some sort. “Wait Uncle Dom. What does this key go to?” I asked him holding up the key.

“Your birthday gift,” He answered. I ran and hugged him. “OH MY GOD YOU GOT ME A CAR!” I was so happy. “Well I thought you’d need something to get you around town. You know… while you make friends and search for _job_ opportunities,” He replied winking. “You’re serious?” I looked at him. It was too good to be true.

“Yeah just do me a huge favor,” He said before he walked out. “Anything!” I yelled back. “You need to find that one girl. I’ve never seen you as happy as you were with her,” He answered. “That’s why I wanted to come back,” I replied. “Then don’t be afraid,”

“I’ll try not to,” I answered, “I’m going to get a fresh night of sleep though.” “Alright,” He said and walked out shutting the door behind him. I walked over and locked it. I turned and faced the whole apartment. I was jumping up and down excited and happy. This was my home now, and it was the first time I wasn’t living with my parents or grandparents. I walked to the master bedroom where I had left my bag. I pulled my night clothes out and laid the bag in front of the dresser to deal with later. After that, I took a shower and went to bed.

The next morning was my true plan went to action. I was going to hunt down Lydia where ever she was. I got up and got dressed in my favorite jean shorts and green tank top. I put on my favorite black and white converse for luck. Then I pulled my hair in low puppy ears. I grabbed my purse and made my way to the parking lot.

I clicked on the key fob to the car so that I could find it, and my jaw dropped when I saw a cherry red Kia waiting for me to drive it. I walked over to it and got in the driver seat, and I put my seatbelt on and turned the car on. I was slightly bouncing in my car’s seat, but I finally pulled myself together. I drove out of the parking lot.

In just a few minutes I was at my goal… Lydia’s old house. I was shocked to see zero cars in the driveway, but I just pushed it off. Maybe Connor and her mother were both gone for the day. I was ready to finally get to talk to her, and I knew exactly what I was going to say… If there wasn’t someone else.

I walked up to the door, and knocked on it. There was no answer. I looked around, and found that no one was home. “Where is everyone?” I asked myself. I frowned and started to walk back to my car, wondering how I’d find out where Lydia was.

Fortunately, as I was walking to my car, Connor’s truck pulled up in the driveway. He got out of the car with a shocked look on his face, “Naomi? What are you doing here?” He asked. “I- um-,” I began. “Oh, shit that was a bit rude. I’m so sorry,” He frowned. “Oh, no. It’s okay,” I assured trying to not sound so lost at the moment.

“Good. It’s no doubt you’re looking for Lydia?” He asked. “Yeah, is she home? Do you know where I can find her?” I asked him. “Oh, um- She’s work honey. She’ll be home later… unless you’d like to head there. She’s probably not as busy as I made her sound,” He chuckled, “I’m just here getting a few things from her house.” “Her house?” I asked. “Oh, yeah. Madeline and I got married, and we gave Lydia this house while we’re at my house across town.”

“Congratulations!” I smiled hugging him. “Do you remember that old florist shop that’s been run down for years?” He asked. “Yeah. The abandoned one?” I replied. “Yeah. You’ll find her there,” He replied walking towards the house. “Thank you,” I said opening the car door. “Good luck!” He called out before walking in.

“That was the weirdest conversation I’ve had with anyone since my flight last night,” I mumbled to myself. He so easily gave up Lydia’s location. Maybe she’s been waiting for me. Or worse, he’s mad at me and wanted me to see Lydia with her new girlfriend… whoever this girlfriend was. Well… I guess there’s only one way to find out.


	8. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naomi finds Lydia at her shop

There was a lot of commotion coming from all over the place. I was too busy trying to stitch up a dress while a bride stood in it. “Come on, my wedding is in an hour,” She rushed. “One more second, Ashley,” I assured finishing up and tying off the thread, “Alright. How’s that?”

She looked at herself in the mirror left and right. “Perfect,” She smiled, “You’re so amazing at this. Thank you.” “You’re welcome. You can pay at the front desk downstairs,” I said. “Thank you!” She said again while being ushered away by her Maid of Honor. I walked over to the woman waiting her turn.

“Sorry, Leanne. It’s her wedding, I had to get her done first,” I apologize. “No problem Lydia. We bridesmaids get overlooked,” She smiled. “So what’s the problem?” I asked. “It’s too loose around the waist, and the sleeves are too tight,” She explained. “Ah, okay. I can fix that right up,” I smiled pulling my scissors out of my apron. I started cutting away at the sleeves and stitching them up to look ruffled. “Ooh… perfect,” She said after I finished them in about ten minutes.

“Now for the waist, I’m going to need you to be still. Otherwise I’m not liable for poking you with a needle and accidentally stitching you to the dress,” I joked, and she laughed. “You’re so funny!” “Thank you,” I smiled as I started working on her dress.

“Lydia?” Nessie, my assistant, walked in. She had her black hair pulled up in a messy bun, and she was wearing a dress that I had made for her when she started working for me. “What Ness?” I asked. “There’s a woman here looking for you,” She answered. “Can’t you see that half the women in this town are looking for me?” I chuckled.

“And yet you’re still single!” Leanne joked. I chuckled and sighed, “I can hear your eyes rolling, Ness. Who is it?” “I don’t know, she seemed a bit nervous, and she wouldn’t tell me her name,” She replied. “Alright. Send her up after Leanne leaves,” I said. “Okay. I’ll let her know,” She replied.

“I wonder who it is?” Leanne thought aloud. “Probably another woman needing some fitting, I don’t want too many people up here at once,” I suggested with a couple of pins in my mouth. “Or she’d be up here,” She said. “Eh, some wait up here, some down there… It’s probably just another customer,” I replied. Then I tied up the stitching, “All done. How does that feel?”

“Much better, and I love the sleeves. They look better than what you originally had on,” She smiled looking at herself in the mirror. “Thank you,” I smiled. “I’ll pay downstairs as usual,” She chuckled walking away. “Alright, who’s next?” I asked the small group of women. A little girl walked up with one of the pink dresses that had a large dark red bow on the back of the dress.

“Awe, and what do you need sweetheart?” I smiled bending over to the girls level. “My dress is torn,” She pouted showing me the tear. It was the base of the dress where the skirt met the rest. “I can fix that sweetie,” I smiled, “But I need you to stand really still.” “Like miss Leanne?” She asked. “Exactly like Miss Leanne. I don’t want to poke you,” I confirmed. “I can do that,” She giggled walking over and standing up on the pedestal. “You can sit sweetie,” I assured.

She sat down and waited for me to get started. I dragged a little cart over that carried all my needles and thread on it. “Hey, Lydia,” I heard a familiar woman’s voice behind me. I looked up at the beautiful woman standing before me. Her long blonde and brown hair was in a braid, and her cloudy gray eyes were looking at me with a very nervous energy.

“I’m on a very short time limit, Naomi. So you’re either going to have to talk to me while I’m working, or wait until I’m done,” I said with a bit of surprise, but I wanted to just pass it off because I have a lot of people waiting on me to fix their dresses for the wedding. I started working on the girl’s dress.

“Okay,” She said looking around, “Your shop looks amazing.” I gave her a raised eyebrow at her trying to make small talk before looking back at the dress to be sure I don’t poke the little girl with the needle. “Thank you,” I smiled, “It was a gift from Connor.” “Connor got you all this?” She asked.

“Yep, and I made mom’s wedding dress,” I smiled quite proud of myself at how it turned out. “Really? I bet she looked beautiful,” She said. “She did,” I confirmed, “There’s a few pictures of her modeling the dress on the wall over there.” I tilted my head in the direction of the wall that had my desk at it.

She walked over and gasped, “Oh wow. That’s beautiful.” “Thank you,” I smiled proudly. “And... Tear be gone!” I said making whooshing sound towards the dress as though I were a magician! The little girl giggled and looked at the part of the dress that used to have a hole in it. “Thank you, Miss Lydia,” She said hugging me. “You’re welcome, Sweetie,” I smiled. Somewhat ignoring Naomi’s stare.

“I’m next!” Another woman said walking up. “Are you part of Ashley’s wedding party? I _have_ to get them done first,” I asked. She nodded and the other bridesmaids nodded, so I gestured for her to get on the pedestal. She did so and I got started on fitting her dress to her.

“I knew you could do it,” Naomi smiled as I finally finished all the bridesmaids dresses. Exhausted and ready for a break, I had Ness make sure that I wasn’t tailoring at the moment. I plopped down on the couch in the loft, and looked at Naomi. “Sorry, you came at a bad time,” I apologized. “How bad?” She asked. “I was supposed to be at home today,” I replied. “Ashley’s a friend of my cousin Madeline, and she called saying that all the bridesmaids dresses didn’t fit the bridesmaids. Then she lost some weight and her dress didn’t fit, and it’s just been chaos all morning,” I frowned. I loved my job, but this is the first time it’s ever been this hectic.

She walked over and sat down next to me, “It’s okay. I understand.” “How have you been?” I asked. “I’m sorry,” She said frowning at me. I knew why she was apologizing. “It’s alright,” I assured. “No it’s not,” She frowned, “I- I should’ve came back when I promise, but I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” I asked. “That you’d moved on. That you were with someone else. I tried to find a way to contact you, but you never replied to my emails… well almost never,” She said with a frown. “I did like the fact that you tried. You tried when I just gave up, Naomi. I completely understood when you stopped. It’s okay,” I assured.

“Really? So what does this mean?” She asked nervously. “I’ve surrounded myself with this job. It made me happy, but I have barely been home in the past month… I’ve been working on Ashley’s wedding dress, and I think I got a little too busy lately.. But with the wedding and all… it only seemed a little hectic. It’s not always like this.” “Do you get a break now?” She asked. “Yeah. I do,” I assured. “Good,” She smiled, but I could still see the nerves in her eyes.

I placed my hand over one of hers while it was resting in her lap, and she looked up at me. “You want to come back don’t you?” I asked. She took a deep breath and gave me a small nod. “Good, because that big ass house was getting a little lonely,” I laughed trying to lighten the mood a bit. “So, I – I can come home?” She asked.

“Absolutely,” I answered, and she started sobbing. I pulled her close to me as she cried, and rubbed her back to comfort her. “I… I am so sorry,” She sobbed. “I told you Naomi… It’s okay,” I assured. “I know- but it shouldn’t be okay,” She replied. “But it is. Please don’t cry, I’m a little too exhausted to handle that.” “I- I’m sorry,” She managed to calm herself down to sniffles. “Here,” I smiled getting up and walking over to my desk. I picked up the handkerchief I had made and tossed it to her.

“That’s for you,” I smiled as she looked at it, “It’s the very first handkerchief that I made. It has your initials on it.” “Awe, Lydia… it’s beautiful,” She smiled through the tears, “I almost don’t want to use it.” “It’s okay, I have another one for you,” I replied. And she looked up at me confused, “You do?” “Yep,” I said grabbing the other.

“This one has a different set of initials,” I smiled pulling a small bag out of the dresser, “See… With how busy I’ve been lately. I brought the gifts I’d gotten you up here because I was really hoping that you’d come, so I took the liberty of getting you a gift. To be honest, one part of the gift I got before you even left. I was saving it for your birthday,” I said walking back over and sitting next to her. “I’ll give it to you first,” I said pulling a long rectangular box and handing it to her. “I want you to wear this to a very special event with me,” I said. She gave me a confused look, then opened the box.

“Lyd, did you-,” “Buy it the next day? Yes,” I interrupted her question, “I remembered how bad you wanted it, so I went back and got it for you. I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but we saw how that went.” She pulled out a small silver chain with blue dolphins handing from it. “I can’t believe that you got it for me. I- Wait...what event?” She asked.

I smiled and handed her the other handkerchief. She looked at it and frowned. “Lyd, I- I don’t understand. It has ‘N. H.’ on it,” “I know what it says on it Naomi,” I smiled. I was ready for this. “But I-,” Then a look of realization wiped across her face, “Lydia, are you-.” I pulled the other box out of the bag, and handed it to her before she could get the question out. She took the box with a shocked and almost knowing look.

She opened it to reveal a ring. It was all silver, but the band was a chain of hearts, while a single diamond sat on the top of the ring. “Lydia, it’s- it’s so beautiful!” She said in awe. “Will you marry me, Naomi?” I managed, and she froze. Her surprise at the beauty of the ring had taking over her realization of where I was leading our conversation. She looked at me, the nerves in her eyes completely gone… that made me happy.

“What?” She asked almost breathless. “I know I’m not a perfect person. I gave up when things got tough, but I waited. I waited for you, and I want you to be with me forever, and make me the happiest woman in the world. O-only you can do that for me, Naomi,” I said with a frown, “I need you.” “Yes,” She said taking a deep breath. “Yes?” I looked at her a small smile inching on my face. “I will marry you, Lydia,” She smiled hugging me.

I pulled away a bit and kissed her as passionately as I could considering the tears that wanted to pour out of my eyes. I held her face to me as she wrapped her arms around me. “I love you so much Naomi!” I said in between kisses. “I love you too,” She replied.


	9. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Naomi spend Valentine's togehter

The next couple of days went by wonderfully and a lot less busy than the day Naomi showed up. She gave me her new number, uncontrolled by her parents, so that we could call each other. She’d yet to tell me where she was staying. I was sitting on the roof waiting for her to show up in the drive way.

We were going to the mall to spend some time together. It wasn’t long before her red car pulled into the driveway. I hopped up and ran back in and downstairs. When I made it to the front yard she was already out of the car and walking up to the front door. I stopped running and walked over to her. She was wearing a light red dress with red flats, and she’d pulled her hair up in a messy bun. When I made it to her, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. I did the same and kissed her back.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Lydia,” She said kissing me again. “Happy Valentine’s Day to you too,” I returned in a moment of bliss. “Are you ready to go?” She asked then she stepped back and looked at me for a second. She stared my faded pink dress and golden sandals, “You’re wearing a dress.”

“So?” I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s literally the first time I’ve seen you in one,” She smiled taking my hand as we walked to her car, “It’s a whole new look for you.” “Well… we’re getting married, so I’m sure it’s not going to be the last time you see me in one,” I smiled as we approached her car, “It’s so nice to have the day off from the boutique though.” “Speaking of which, is there a reason why it’s called ‘Little Red Dress’?” She asked. “Maybe,” I dragged on to make it sounds suspicious, though I wasn’t sure if she remembered the reason I called named it that.

“What? What’s that? You sound suspicious,” She chuckled. “It was supposed to,” I smiled getting in her car. “Really?” She asked getting in behind the wheel. “Yes, really,” I said looking at her, “You’re not thinking hard enough about it,” I chuckled looking at her. “I’m supposed to think hard about it?” She asked. “Yes!” I smiled laughing.

She thought for a moment, “Alright. I give. What does it mean?” I scoffed and looked out the window, “I almost expected you to remember, but I guess it’s a lot to hope for.” “Lydia, you alright?” She asked looking at me. “Yeah, I don’t know why it’s affecting me like this,” I said shaking my head and looking down in my lap. She took my hand in hers, as she thought for a moment, “Is it because when we first met I was wearing a red dress?” She asked. “Yeah,” I smiled looking at her.

“See, I was going to say that… but I didn’t want to sound all conceited,” She chuckled. “You could never be conceited, Naomi. You care too much about others,” I smiled. “Thank you,” She smiled back at me.

\------------------------

“Seriously, he wouldn’t leave me alone! Even when I told him I was lesbian! He told me that he could ‘turn me straight’. Like bitch please, even if I was straight I wouldn’t want your ugly ass,” Naomi was telling me as we left the food court. She was explaining how she had been flirted with by this one guy on the plane from California. I was laughing so hard I wasn’t paying attention. I ran into someone coming out of another store.

“Oops! I’m so sor- Nora?” I apologized, but that was interrupted my my surprised look to see my ex-girlfriend. “Lydia?” she said a bit surprised as well. “Oh, so this is the red headed bitch that wouldn’t ever leave you alone,” Naomi said with a smirk, looking her up and down, “Hardly a loss in my book… Hmm… Nothing to be sulking over for a week.”

“Hello, who are you?” A man asked, walking up behind Nora and putting his arm around her waist. I smirked and Naomi gasped. Then she let out a single laugh. This was totally unoriginal for Nora. So I smiled knowing I was going to fuck with him, “It’s good to see you again, Naomi… Not really”

“I’m her ex-girlfriend, and you are?” I answered ignoring his address to Naomi because I knew it would upset, and his eyes blinked wider. He looked as though I had slapped him in the face. “Nora isn’t gay, I’m her boyfriend,” he said and I laughed.

“I’m guessing she didn’t tell you that I’ve had my tongue down her throat and my fingers in places they really shouldn’t have been?” I asked and he blinked again, and he now looked like an owl. He slowly removed his arm from around her waist and looked down at her.

“…Nora, you said you weren’t a lesbian,” He said slowly and I smirked. I took Naomi’s hand in my own and nodded. “Yep, we dated for a while, guess she left that small tidbit out. Too long I might add. We all know she likes them peaches over bananas,” I said and Nora flushed as Naomi giggled. I looked over to her.

“You little bitch, and you wonder why I kept fooling around behind your back,” She hissed and I shrugged. “I couldn’t care less as to why you did that. Obviously you love pussy so much you just couldn’t settle for one. Don’t know why you settled for a dick though. That there is news to me.” I said and Naomi chuckled.

“And what about her!” Nora asked pointing to Naomi. “What about her?” I asked. “I bet she’s doing the exact same thing. You’re not very pleasant to be around. That’s what you do, Lydia. You turn good people into whores because are a miserable date!” “How dare you!” Naomi frowned. “I was miserable because you made me miserable, Nora. Remember that!” “Whatever,” She rolled her eyes. Then she looked at Naomi, “Come to me when you’re ready for a real woman.”

My mouth gaped open, and Naomi squeezed my hand. “No thank you, Nora. I don’t have a special attraction to women like you,” “Oh I see, your dumb ass has an attraction to weak and depressed women who were raped?” Nora asked, and I gasped. “You bitch!” I yelled wanting to go after her. Naomi grabbed my biceps and held me back, “I’ll kill you if you talk to my fiance like that again!”

“Try me!” Nora said getting into fight mode. The man with her, I believe that Naomi said his name was Kyle began to hold her back. “Ladies! Is there a problem here?” A security guard said walking up. Nora broke free of Kyle’s hold and shoved me. I barely moved a half a step back before shoving her back. She stumbled back several feet before falling hard into the fountain behind her.

“Think before you start something you know you can’t finish, bitch. I learned that lesson after dating you,” I said as Nora spluttered in the water. “You little bitch! Wait till I get out of here, you better watch your back!” she yelled as she stood back up. She was drenched head to toe, and her _little_ boyfriend was frantically trying to help her out of the water. The Security guard walked away when he saw the signal of the end of the fight. “Try it, you know where to find me,” I said, walking away with Naomi.

“That was the best thing I’ve ever seen you do,” Naomi said and I stopped and kissed her tenderly. I was lucky to have a girl like her in my life. “I’d like to believe I’ve done better in bed though,” I smiled and she laughed. “You okay?” she asked a little concerned about Nora bringing up my past like that. “I’m alright,” I smiled, “I’ve been waiting to stand up to her for a long time. “Really? I couldn’t tell,” “I’m so lucky to have you, my future Naomi Hamilton,” I said and kissed her again.“Same here Lydia Hamilton.” She smiled, “Which store do you want to go to next?”

“I don’t really care honestly,” I replied, “but first I have to use the bathroom.” I looked around and saw one next to a jewelry store and a shoe store. “There’s one,” She said and took my bags from me, “Don’t rush yourself. I’ll be here.” “Okay,” I ran into the bathroom, and did my business quickly even though she told me not to rush myself. When I came out, she wasn’t there. I looked around scared and confused, “Naomi?”

“What?” She asked appearing behind me, making me jump. I turned and saw her. I was curious as to where she went. “You scared me,” I said taking my bags back. “Sorry, I just saw something in a store that I wanted to get,” She apologized. “I’m not mad, baby,” I hugged her, “I just… Wait… Which store?”

“I won’t tell you,” She gave me her seductive smile, “You ready to get out of here? Maybe, I’ll let you check it out.” “Yea. Let’s go,” I agreed and we walked out holding hands with our bags in the other hand, “Did you get what you wanted this time?”

“I always get what I want,” She smiled. We put our bags in the back seat of her car. “Oh really?” I smiled. “Yeah, how do you think I got you?” She giggled shutting her side of the back door, and I did the same. We both got into her car and she started driving. “Your place or mine?” I asked thinking that she usually went to mine. “We’ll go to mine,” She said.

“That’s a first,” I chuckled. “Yeah, well I didn’t want to get too used to my place because I’m moving in with you, but I have to get my stuff somehow,” She said. “Okay, as long as you can get me to work at eleven in the morning,” I answered. “I’ll get you there,” She assured. “Good. Hey… is this the one with the Bluetooth connection?” I asked. “Be my guest,” She answered confirming the answer to my question.

“Awesome,” I smiled pulling out my phone and hooking it up to her Bluetooth radio, “What do you want to listen to?” “It doesn’t matter, surprise me,” She smiled. “Okay,” I said a little confused, and she sighed. “Lydia… you are my girlfriend, but I really don’t care what music you play on my damn stereo,” She smiled. I could tell her eyes were gleaming from behind her new sunglasses, “I know we both like the same music.”

“Okie dokie,” I said searching for a song. Then I found the one I wanted to play for her. I remembered that we were watching a morning music channel the morning after our first date together. We had considered it our song, and I have since. I clicked on the song to let it play _Cheerleader by Omi_ on the radio. It played, and on the first note, Naomi gasped. Then she smiled. “What about this one?”

“Lydia…” She paused. I could tell that she was really happy hearing this song for the first time in a long time. Well… hearing it with me for the first time in a long time, “I- I love you so much.” “Well… I love you so much more.” I returned. Still looking at the road, she reached one hand down and grabbed mine again.

The next moment we were slamming each other into the walls of her apartment. We’d already dropped our bags on the floor in her living room, and we were kissing each other with full force trying to find the door to her bedroom. I have to say, she was very committed to getting me to her room without us looking at where we were going.

We finally made our way to the door without looking, and she pushed me against it and walked over to kiss me again. She opened the door without stopping, and I nearly lost my balance because it was holding me up. She caught me before I fell. She pulled me back upright, and kissed me forcefully again holding my head to hers. I did the same. We walked over to the bed while kissing, and she shoved me to where I’d fall onto the bed.

I was laying there on my back while she ripped her own clothes off to where all she was wearing was her bra and underwear, and she jumped on top of me and kissed me. I put my hands on her hips as she leaned up and slowly pushed my dress over my head. Then all I was wearing was my bra and underwear.

She slowly took the rest of my clothes off, and I did the same to her. My hands were back on her hips, and she leaned back over and kissed me. I moved my hands up her back, and then my arms were around her neck.

Then she pulled away, and she was sitting on top off me. She gave me a seductive look and smile, and my hands were back on her hips as she ran hers down my stomach. Farther and farther down my stomach till she wasn’t touching my stomach any more.

I closed my eyes as she slipped her fingers slowly and softly inside me. The feeling made my breath hitch. My breathing was heavy, and the feeling was incredible as she started to pump her fingers in and out of me. I moaned in pleasure as I moved my hands to the bed and clutched the blanket, and she let out a small giggle.

Before I finished, wanting to wait until she was ready, I wrapped my arms around her and flipped her to where she was now under me. I leaned over and kissed her softly, as I did the same. She closed her eyes, and moaned pleasantly.

It seemed like for her the time was longer between these chances we got. Her moans got louder as she neared her end, and she slipped her fingers in me again as we both were close until we were letting out loud moans of pleasure. My eyes shutting tight as my head flung backwards as pleasure coursed though my veins. I could hear her doing the same. Her fingers curling inside me sending a small pulse of pleasure throughout me.

When the pleasure rolled off leaving us both in bliss, I looked at her and she looked back at me and smiled. I leaned back down and kissed her passionately. Our heart beats racing as we breathed heavily. She rolled me back over, and now she was laying halfway on me as she kissed me. She was crazy for me… but I didn’t care. I was crazy for her too.

The next morning, the sun was shining through her bedroom window. She was laying behind me with her arm around me holding me close to her. I was very comfortable, and smiled. Both of our hair was over my face, and the scent mixture was beautiful. Hearing her soft breathing in my ear, and feeling her body pressed against mine was incredible.

I loved her, and I always will. I rolled over in her arms and buried my face between her neck and the pillow. She held m tighter and tighter, but she was careful not to be too tight. I wanted to stay right here in her arms forever. They were snug when wrapped around me, and I longed for them when they weren’t.

“Good morning beautiful,” She greeted and petted my hair, “You know what I just realized after all this time?” “The blue streaks in your hair is gone,” She said. “Sorry, I just figured that I needed to grow up and part of that is getting the blue out,” I said. “No, I like it like this. It’s beautiful on you,” She assured. “Thank you, baby,” I smiled still nuzzled between her and the pillows.

“You’re welcome,” She smiled, then she sighed for a moment, “You hungry?” “For more of last night? Absolutely,” I joked. “No sill. Food,” She answered. “Sure, I’ll take some. What time is it?” I asked. “Nine,” She answered. “I gotta be at work-,” “In two hours. Don’t worry. I said I’d get you to work on time. I’ll get you to work on time,” She assured getting up. “I love you,” I smiled.

“I love you, too. I’ll go and get breakfast started while you clean up,” She said getting out of bed. She put on her pajamas and left the room. I just laid in the bed for a moment, and thought about how lucky I was that I had such a beautiful and amazing girlfriend.

I got up from the bed slowly and went into the bathroom. Then I decided after looking at myself in the mirror, that I should really take a shower. That’ll put a fresh start in my day. I quickly showered and got out. I heard Naomi walk in as I was wrapping myself in a towel. “Lydia, breakfast is- what are those?” She stopped mid-sentence. “What?” I asked looking at her, my hair dripping wet.

“Those, on your back. I’ve never seen them before,” She frowned looking at the old faded scars running down my back. “It’s nothing,” I replied shrugging them off. “Lydia, I- okay,” She sighed giving in to me wanting to brush it off. I turned and took her hands in mine. “Naomi, it was a long time ago, and I’ve accepted the fact that it’s over. I’m okay, and I’ve completely forgotten that they were there,” I assured. “You sure?” She asked slightly worried. “I’m positive. Now let me get dressed, and make sure my breakfast doesn’t get cold,” I smiled kissing her forehead.

“Okay,” She smiled and kissed my cheek before leaving the room. I sighed and walked into the bedroom to get dressed. I pulled out my phone and called Nessie. “Hello?” She picked up the phone. “Hey Ness, is there any fittings today?” I asked. “Um… let me check,” She said rustling around the papers, “No. Not and scheduled.” “Okay, I’m going to take the day off, but call me if there are any emergency fittings. Only for important events,” I said. “Okay, will do,” She replied, “See you tomorrow… if they’re no fittings. Peace” “You too,” I chuckled hanging up.

“Who’s that?” Naomi asked in the door way. “I thought you were making sure my breakfast was staying warm,” I said. “Well, you were taking a bit, and I was nervous that I had brought up something bad,” She frowned, “But now I’m more curious as to who you’re on the phone with.” “It was Nessie, my assistant. I decided to stay in today, and I’ll only go for important fittings,” I replied. “Oh,” She frowned.

“Naomi...” I smiled and chuckled. Then I patted the bed next to me. She walked over and sat down, “Nessie has a boyfriend, Sherry is married, and Ashley is now married. I’m not cheating on you.” “I know that,” She rolled her eyes, “Then why are you worried about who was on the phone?” I asked. “I don’t know, I- I guess what Nora said at the mall yesterday has me a bit… I don’t know,” She said with a frown.

“Naomi look at me,” I said grabbing her biceps with a firm hold, but not to tight. “What?” She looked at me confused. “Don’t you dare listen to anything that narcissistic bitch says. Do you hear me? Don’t listen to her. I love you, and I know that you won’t cheat on me, and I would never cheat on you. Okay?” I said looking her in her beautiful gray eyes. “Okay,” She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry for that. I understand that you have your doubts, sometimes I do too. But I don’t doubt that you love me,” I assured, “You just got to talk to me about it okay.” “Why did you hide the scars from me, then?” She asked. “I have plenty of reasons. I enjoyed forgetting that they were there. I enjoyed not remembering how they got there… and to be honest… you worry about me too much,” I explained. “And I brought it all back up, didn’t I? I’m so stupid,” She frowned face-palming.

“You are not dumb, Naomi,” I said with a serious tone. My heart couldn’t take her putting herself down like that. “Yes I am. I want so badly to make you happy because I hate seeing you so sad and depressed. But then I see something that is clearly something bad, and I bring it up. I don’t want to upset you,” “You didn’t upset me, Naomi. When that happened to me. It was a long long time ago, in a town far away from here. He’s in jail now… or so I’ve heard,” I assured, “It would be no less than he deserved.”

“So why doesn’t it bother you?” She asked. “Because I have you. You’ve given me the ability to see those scars and not see how they got there, but how I survived through it. I don’t see why they were there, but they’re why I feel so strong. You’ve helped me see the good in my past instead of the bad.” I explained. “Oh, okay,” She frowned looking down. I wrapped my arms around her in a hug and held her close to me.

“I love you Naomi,” I said kissing the top of her head. “I love you too,” She blushed looking up at me then away, “So you have the day off?” “I do now. Why? What do you have in mind?” “You’ll see,” She smiled, “After breakfast.”

  



	10. Mrs. & Mrs. Hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Naomi's Big Day

“Oh my gosh, you look so beautiful.” Mom said as she walked into the room. She gestured to my short white dress with glossy white heals. Naomi and I had decided to both wear short and simple dresses. Mine was white lace with white cloth under it. The lace covered my arms with long sleeve, but the sleeves and the part of my chest if covered didn’t have the cloth. “Have you seen Naomi’s dress?” “Thank you I made it. And no, we decided to surprise each other with our dresses. Keep it secret.”

“Oh just you wait. She’s really pretty!” She said making my anticipation to see Naomi even greater, “But you are my very beautiful little girl.” “Thank you mama,” I smiled looking at myself left and right.

“Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe that my little girl is getting married. Your father would be so proud!” She said giddily. “Would he?” I asked. “Of course he would,” She smiled, “Oh no you’re missing something,” She walked over to the vanity set and grabbed my veil. She put it right above my braided bun. Then took a step back. “Mom don’t.” I tried to stop her from tearing up, “Please. Are you ready to go?”

“Uh huh,” She sniffled and she left the room to sit down. I walked behind her, but stopped at the door. I was excited and nervous. The little strands of hair hanging by my face were blowing in the draft of the air conditioner. There was a line of three bridesmaids and Madeline, my maid of honor.

She was wearing a short red dress and matching shoes, and the bridesmaids were wearing different colored dresses as the rainbow starting with Madeline’s. All of their hair were the same style. Which was down and straightened with a headband to match the dresses. The best manwas wearing a tuxedo with a red bow tie. And the grooms men’s bow ties were to match the corresponding bridesmaid.

Madeline handed my bouquet to me. It was large and had red roses mixed with pink ones. “I can’t believe it,” She said, “My favorite cousin is getting married… To another woman.” “Thank you.” I said giggling at her ignorance of lesbians, “Madeline… you look beautiful, and thank you for being here.”

“No problem,” She said, “Will you make my wedding dress?” “When the time comes,” I replied. Then the music played and the doors opened. I waited for the bridesmaids and Madeline to walk out of the hallway. They were so slow for my excitement, but I kept my pace behind them. The wedding planner told me to wait until all the bridesmaids and groomsmen were still.

Then the music changed, and he told me that I could go. He reminded me to make slow and easy steps. I turned the corner and began my walk down the aisle. My shoes were quiet on the red carpet lining the aisle. Though everyone’s eyes were on me, my eyes were on her. Her beautiful white dress that stopped at her knees. It was a plain white dress with a laced sweater. She had on shoes that matched. Matted white with Lace coating.

She wasn’t wearing a veil, and her hair was curled into ringlets. She was beautiful and Angelic. Like I had died, and she was standing at the gates of heaven. As I got closer to her she held out her hand for me to take, and her smile got bigger. I took her hand and she helped me up the steps at the end of the aisle. I handed the bouquet back to Madeline, and turned back around and took both of my bride’s hands.

“We are gathered here today for the joining of Miss Lydia Hamilton and Naomi Reynolds,” The pastor began. Naomi and I stared into each other’s eyes, and it was as though time flew by. Before we knew it, Naomi was asked to present her vow, “Do you have anything to say Naomi?”

“Lydia, when I first met you in the dressing room of that department store waiting on your mother, I hoped that one day we’d be friends. I didn’t expect us to become more than that, but I was so happy when we did. You taught me many things. Including that they only person who should ever care about us… _is_ us, and that it didn’t matter what other’s thought as long as we had each other.

“You forgave my late return which was out of fear, and you still loved me after the long time we were apart. You waited a very long time for me, and that, to me, is true love. I love you Lydia. I always have… and I always will.” She was fighting back tears… we both were. “You are my one and only, my best friend, and I’m the luckiest woman in the world to have someone like you want to be with me forever.”

“Lydia?” The pastor turned to me.

“Wow. I don’t think I could top that one, but I’ll try… Naomi when I first met you, I’ll admit, I was still getting over my last. You helped me get through those stages of guilt, because you told me I shouldn’t be guilty about it. You taught me that I could truly be loved without lies and cheating.

“You taught me that there was love still left in this world for me, and you showed me it. You loved me when I didn’t even love myself, and I love you so much for that. You are my everything, and that’s why I waited so long for you,” I said as a tear fell down her cheek. I reached over and gently wiped it away, “I love you, and there’s nothing or no one in this ginormous world that could ever change that. No one can ever keep us apart no matter how hard they try. I love you Naomi.”

“With that… There is nothing else to say, but I now pronounce you wife and wife,” He clapped his hands together, “You may now kiss your bride.” In that Naomi and I leaned in and kissed each other passionately. I wrapped my arms around her neck, and she wrapped hers around my waist. Everyone clapped and cheered.

 

The party was held at Connor’s house, which mom had moved in with him and gave us hers. It was beautiful. I was shocked to see that despite their previous actions, Naomi’s parents had finally sucked it up and came. They actually confronted me just before the father daughter dance number.

“Lydia,” A woman tapped on my shoulder to get my attention. I turned to see who it was, and saw Naomi’s mother, Violet, and my eyes went wide. I took a small double take, shocked that she’d show up. “I- I didn’t think you’d come.” I said. “We thought about what you said, and figured that we should apologize for what happened,” Her father, Hudson, said, “Especially after you sent the invitation, even after what we’ve done.”

“Yeah, but the reception was so much better and more important, Hudson. I love Naomi very much, and unless I die, I’ll be the only time she gets married,” I frowned, and they looked a little upset, “Well anyway. I understand that you’re getting into your tolerant stage, and I’ll give you credit because some wouldn’t have even tried.”

“Well we read your note, Lydia. You were right,” Violet said sincerely, “We can’t change she is or who she’s in love with.” “But…” I tried to get her to finish kind of proud of my persuasive letter. “We can support her. Which is something we should’ve done a long time ago,” Hudson finished handing me a gift bag. “What is this?” I asked.

“Her things. The pictures, her phone, tokens of your relationship that we took from her,” Violet answered, “Think of it as our wedding gift to you two.” “Thank you,” I smiled brightly taking the bag from her, and I looked at Hudson. “Sir, can you do me a _huge_ favor?” “What’s that?” He cleared his throat. “Dance with your daughter,” I answered mocking his clearing of the throat. Then the wedding planner voice flew loud out of the speaker.

“ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” He spoke clearly. “IT IS TIME FOR THE FATHER DAUGHTER DANCE FOR OUR TWO LOVELY BRIDES!”

“I know that you should love your daughter no matter what. But I’m not the one who needs to know that, Hudson. She is. And you can show her that you love her, by dancing with her at her wedding,” I turned my attention back to Hudson, “She needs to know that. She needs to know that you can get past who she is and love her for it. She’s an amazing woman, and being gay shouldn’t cloud your view of her. It should make you love her more, because she’s so much more special.” “I’m so sorry Lydia,” He apologized tearing up.

“You should be apologizing to _her_ … not me,” I said pushing him in her direction. I watched as he walked towards her. She looked at him shocked. Then he said something and held out his hand, and she took it. Seeing her forgive him made me smile. I walked over to where Connor and mom were. “Connor, I believe that it’s the father daughter dance.”

“I didn’t think…” He began. “You’re my step-father,” I said. “Yeah _step-_ father,” He said. “Isn’t _father_ on the end of that?” I asked him with my hands on my hips. “Yeah, but-,” “Go dance with her,” Mom ordered.  “Okay.” He smiled and mom giggled. He walked around to me and held out his hand. I took it and he led me to the dance floor where we danced. Then the song changed, and it was mine and Naomi’s song. We walked to each other and danced.

“I cannot believe that you got my parents to come,” She said as we danced. “Looks like I made my beautiful bride happy? I can be quite persuasive, Naomi. That’s how I got you,” I chuckled as she play slapped the front of my shoulder, “Plus, it took nearly loosing you forever to realize the dated way they were living.” “Thank you so much for that,” She said with a smile.

“Anything for the most beautiful woman in the world,” I laid my head on her shoulder as we danced. This was the best day of my life, and I couldn’t have imagined it going any better. When the dance was over we walked over to the table were mom and Connor were sitting and sat with them. “So you two. Which last name did you go with on the certificate?” Mom asked looking to us for an answer.

“Oh um-,” Naomi began, but I stopped her. “Mom did you and Connor bet on it?” I asked smiling. She looked to Connor and looked back then they both replied in unison, “No.” “They totally bet on it,” Naomi chuckled. “No we didn’t!” Mom defended. “Do you really want to know?” I asked. Naomi laid her hand on my thigh under the table. It sent electric shivers up my spine, and made me sit up straight. Mom and Connor nodded to the question and smiled to my sudden movements. I had to answer so we could run off, “Hamilton.”

“Well that’s great,” Mom said, “Mrs. and Mrs. Hamilton. That’s works.” “Naomi and I agreed that for my father’s sake. Hamilton should continue in our family,” I informed then looked at Naomi smiling. “Plus she’s older,” She joked. “Alright, you two go and have fun on your wedding night!” Connor smiled.

Then we both stood up and ran off towards the dock, and sat on the bench. We leaned into each other and watched the sun set. “Wow. I never knew that this gazebo would be the end of one relationship and the beginning of a whole new and better one,” I said in awe holding her hand in between us. Then I looked at her, “Naomi?” “Yeah?” She looked back at me, but I didn’t say anything. She felt she had to, and with a smile she said, “I think it’s your dad looking after you.”

“You really think that?” I asked. “Yeah. Making up for when he couldn’t before,” She continued, “Making sure you have someone who will take care of you now that he can’t.” I thought about it for the moment. My father was a proud man, and he only wanted for my mom and me to be safe and happy. He’d do anything for that. So I can see how she’d say that. It really made my day. Even though I just got married to the most perfect woman.

“Thank you for that,” I kissed her, and we continued watching the sunset. When the sun went down, Connor decided to pop fireworks that he’d bought this morning. Being that it was so close to July Fourth, people were selling them. They were many different colors, but our favorite was the one that popped taking up most of the sky… it was rainbow. I sighed at how beautiful they were.

That night, Naomi and I drove home. Mom had wrote all over the windows except the windshield. So when we got out of the car, we were laughing at the pictures and how terrible she was at drawing.

We walked upstairs to our room, which was now the master bedroom. Cleaned up and moved around to look completely different. We laid down in the bed, and relaxed and talked for what seemed like hours. Then we kissed and kissed. I made my way on top of her and pulled off her dress, and she was so beautiful. Now she was mine, and I was hers.


	11. Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets real

“Calm down Lydia, and tell me what’s going on,” Connor said tiredly on the phone. I was taking deep breaths, trying to do what he said for me to do. I was freaking out so badly that my words mixed together. “We heard a breaking sound. Like glass, so, of course, we had to check it out! Then something hit me on the back of the head, and when I woke up… Naomi was gone! Someone took her! Please help!” I explained, but my words came out in a panicky mess.

“Okay. Okay. Calm down. I’ll be there soon,” I heard him say as he rustled out of bed, “Did you call the police?” “YES!” I yelled frustrated and scared, “Please help. Please hurry.” “I will,” He hung up.

It wasn’t long before the police showed up, and were knocking on my door. I opened it, and Connor and the sheriff department showed up. Mom was also standing behind Connor. They had me seated at the dining table trying to keep me calm as I explained what happened. Mom was next to me while Connor and the Sheriff, Bryant Andrews, was across from us, “Lydia, did you see who it was?”

“Don’t you think I’d tell you if I did?” I asked angrily, “They took my wife! It would’ve been the first fucking thing I said if I knew who it was!” “Lydia, baby, stay calm,” Mom said grabbing my hand, “They need to ask these questions.” “Can you tell us exactly what happened?” Sheriff Andrews asked.

“Well…” I took a deep breath, “We woke up to a loud breaking nose. Like glass or something. Naomi and I got up and walked downstairs to see who it was, but then something hit me on the back of my head. It knocked me out, and when I woke up, she was gone. I never saw who took her, but I know someone did.”

“SIR!” One of the officers called from the living room, “We’ve found something you may want to look at.” “Alright,” Sheriff Andrews got up from the table, and walked over. The officer handed him a piece of paper and one of our picture frames, and he looked at it. Then walked back over to the table and sat them in front of me. It was a picture of me and Naomi kissing on our wedding day. The picture was torn in half and placed back in the frame, and my half of the picture was marked over. The writing on Naomi’s side said, _whore_ _._ I looked over to the note and read it. It said…

_This will be your fault, Lydia. Don’t you see it?_

_Technically… you killed her because you didn’t love me._

_You just had to be a bitch that day huh? Good luck finding_

_Your_ wife _._ _I told you that you’d pay for it… I think she’s a pretty price_ _…_

_Don’t worry. We’ll keep you updated on our progress._

_We’ll play a little game... Let’s see if_

_You can find her before we kill her. You have three days._

_Starting on August tenth._

_NS_

  


Reading the note made me scared, I burst into tears. I knew exactly who took Naomi, and it was my fault, “Lydia… August tenth is tomorrow. Well… today. Did someone have it out for you?” “Yes,” I choked, “Her name is Nora… Nora Murphy.” “But Lydia, this ‘NS’,” Connor said.

“Maybe she got married. I don’t know it’s been five years,” I dropped my head, “I didn’t think she’d do something like this.” “Apparently, Lydia, it’s more than one kidnapper,” Connor said looking at the paper, “See, it says ‘before _we_ kill her’.” “Maybe she married that guy she had with him at the mall! Apparently she was his girlfriend!” I answered and mom scoffed. “ _I know_ , but Naomi told me he was the guy who kept bothering her on the plane from California.” “What was his name?” Sheriff Andrews asked. “Oh- um- I think Naomi said his name was… K-Kyle something. Kyle… Sanchez. Something like that.” “Thank you Lydia,” Sheriff Andrews said, and walked towards the living room. I turned to Connor worried.

“Connor?” I took a deep breath. “Yeah?” Connor looked at me with a solemn expression. “N- Naomi told me that he wanted have sex with her on the plane. Do you think that… that he’d...? You know…” I tried to get it out, “Hurt her.” “Do you mean _rape_?” He asked, and mom sighed and wrapped her arms around me. “Yeah,” I nodded.

“I don’t know, Lydia. I can’t say that he will, then he doesn’t; and I can’t say that he won’t, and he does,” He answered calmly, “All I can say is _I don’t know,_ and we can hope for the best.” “She’s not strong like me, Connor. She can’t just get over it like I can. She- she- It’ll hurt her,” I dropped my head. The weight of a sleepless night hanging over me, and now I was fighting my eyelids. Mom rubbed my back as I laid my head on the table in despair.

“Honey why don’t you get some sleep?” She suggested. I shook my head. “Staying awake isn’t going to help her.” “Neither is going to sleep,” I replied. “So no matter what I do, I can’t help her.” “You’re doing what you can. You were able to tell us who it is, and why. Now all that’s left is where.”

“Yeah… Where did those sick bastards take my fucking wife?”

  


  


**Day 1…**

“PLEASE! HELP!” I yelled banging on walls and grabbing the old bars of the run down cell and shaking them. “SOMEBODY!” “Shut up, you stupid bitch,” Nora demanded jabbing me with a cattle prod. The shock was so strong that my knees buckled, and I fell to the floor twitching. She entered the cell, and jabbed me again when I tried to stand back up. Kyle shut the cell door laughing, “You’re really annoying, Naomi. Luckily we are where we are, or the whole fucking world could hear you.”

“Let me go,” I demanded muscles tensed and jaw locked. She grabbed the collar of my night shirt and sat me up, then she slammed her fist into my face knocking me back to the floor. “Let me at her, Nora,” Kyle suggested. His hands were on the bars, and he looked like he was trying to push is head in between them. He then reached in, “Tag me in, baby… Tag me in.”

“Not yet, Kyle,” She said kicking my stomach. I let out an oof, and wrapped my arms around it. “Did you honestly think that I was going to let you get away with her? Huh? I loved her!” Then she lifted me up again the same way and punched me again forcing me to fall back to the floor. “If you loved her, you wouldn’t have cheated on her! You wouldn’t have treated her like she was worthless!” I managed back. “It was the only way I could get her to stay!” She yelled back, after that she started beating me with the cattle prod, but at least she’d turned it off.

“Baby,” Kyle whined from the other side of the bar. Then I heard a slap, but no one hit me. The gate opened, and heavy footsteps came to me, “HELL YEA!” “Get it done,” Nora demanded. “Baby don’t you want to watch?” He asked from where he was standing over me.

“Why not?” She replied. The gate closed. Then a stronger grip wrapped around my arm and lifted me onto my feet. Then he shoved me onto the old bed on my back. He jumped on top of me and pulled my night pants and underwear off. He unzipped his pants. Next thing I knew, he was laying on top of me thrusting and slamming me into the bed.

His hands holding my wrists, so I couldn’t fight him off. I closed my eyes, and prayed that this was a dream. Prayed that Lydia would wake me up, or that I’d wake up with her next to me. My breath came out in shutters. The feeling of his penis inside of me made me nauseous, and he wouldn’t stop for what felt like hours. Though it may have only been minutes. There was a bright flash, but no bang… He kept going. When he finally stopped and left with Nora, I leaned over the bed and vomited on the floor.

“Lydia,” I mumbled to myself. I rolled back over and curled in fetal position, and I started sobbing into my hands, “I’m so sorry…”

  


“Look you don’t understand, Lydia. I-.” Sheriff Andrews began. “NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” I yelled back slamming my fist on the table. They’d me sitting at the table all day, “GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING TO HER, AND YOU’RE SITTING HER TRYING TO GET SOMETHING THAT I DON’T KNOW FROM ME!”

“Lydia, calm down,” Mom said. I took deep breaths to calm myself the best I do, “Look Connor, We’ve only forty-eight hours to find Naomi. It would seem that Lydia had already told you what she knows.” “Sometimes Lydia, we catch more than we even know,” Connor said. “Like what? We already know who took her and why! How am I supposed to fucking know where they took her. You guys already checked their homes, and everything related to them,” I said angrily, “What more would I know?”

“I don’t know Lydia,” He answered, “Try to remember something… anything.” “Like what?” I asked exhausted from the pointless questions. What more could I possibly know? “Well… You said you heard something break. What was it?” He asked. “I don’t know. They didn’t find anything broken?” “Nothing but the picture frame,” He replied, “However, I do believe that there is a broken vase in the trashcan outside. Was that you two?”

“What color was it?” I asked as my eyes went wide. “Black with golden antique designs,” He said and my heart sank as mom gasped. “That- that wasn’t a vase,” She said sounding a bit light headed. “Oh shit,” Connor frowned. I slammed my hands on the table and stood to my feet, “THEY THREW AWAY BOBO’S ASHES!” I shouted in disbelief. “Sweetie, I- I- It’s okay, we’ll take care of that once it’s all over,” Mom sighed.

“Wait Bobo?” Connor looked at me confused, “I thought-” “Daddy was buried. Bobo was his golden retriever who died before I was taken into foster care. That dog was like a brother to me, and he was a _very_ important member of the family. And those bastards literally threw him away. I’m going to kill them. Sheriff Andrews, make sure you fucking kill them!” “Lydia, I will do what I can, but I can only kill them if they try to attack us. Now, why would they clean the mess up?” He replied. 

“Kyle must be some sort of clean freak,” I said. “Why would you say Kyle?” Connor asked. “Nora was messy. I was always cleaning up shit, and when I went to her house in San Francisco… Her room was a mess. She never cleaned it. There would be all kinds of shit, even food plates that would smell like they’ve been there for a long time. She’s a hoarder,” I answered.

“House in San Francisco?” Sheriff Andrews asked. “Yeah, but Nora wouldn’t risk a plane ride,” I answered, “They wouldn’t have gone far if she wanted me to look for Naomi.” “True,” Connor agreed. “What about their families? Maybe they have something that they would’ve gone to in their families names,” I suggested a small of hope in my voice.

“We’re looking right now,” Connor said, then his phone rang and he picked it up walking away. “Lydia, what happened that Nora was talking about in the note?” Sheriff Andrews asked while Connor was away from the table. My head dropped. “Naomi and I were at the mall a couple days after we got engaged. Nora was there with Kyle, and we threw a few spats. Then she shoved me, so I shoved her back and she fell into the fountain. She threatened us, but I didn’t think she’d actually… do… something,” I folded my arms on the table and wept. Mom rubbed my back in an attempt to comfort me, “Now that ginger… Whore has my wife, and I don’t know where they are.”

“Stay calm, Lydia. It’s going to be okay,” Mom assured. “How long ago was this?” He asked. “Five years ago. We got married only a couple of months after that,” I answered, and he gave me a pained expression, “What?” “Are you sure that’s the last time you saw the couple?” He asked. “Yes. Why?” I asked. “Lydia… I don’t think that that’s the reason they would do something like this,” He answered. “That was the last time I saw her,” I said.

“Then that’s a stupid reason, or maybe it’s because you left her. Didn’t you say she was your ex-girlfriend?” “Yeah, but again that was even longer,” I replied. “Okay. Maybe she’s upset that you broke up with her.” He suggested. “That’s RIDICULOUS!” I scoffed, “The bitch cheated on me… She didn’t even love me. She didn’t…” “Lydia,” Mom said, and I knew she wanted me to calm down.

“Forty-eight hours, and the love of my life will be dead,” I said getting a bit angry, “AND YOU’RE ASKING ME ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE!” “As ridiculous as it sounds, it is possible. Take a look at this,” Sheriff Andrews said passing a file labeled Nora Murphy. “What is this?” I asked. “Everything you need to know about her… Especially her Medical History,” He answered. “I’m allowed to view this?” I asked. “Maybe, maybe not. I won’t tell if you don’t,” He winked. I shook my head and opened the file, and gasped at all the medical difficulties they’d listed. Sociopath, depression, bipolar, and many more would explain her reason for her doing this.

“Okay,” Connor sat back down on the table, “Katie found nothing under the parents of Kyle. Plus anything possible would be in California.” “And Nora?” Mom asked. “Nora’s parents moved to Dunseith, seven years ago due to inheritance. Her mother inherited two town houses and a farm.” “Most likely the farm,” Sheriff Andrews said, “Send teams to all three locations.”

“Already done, and there was a packet dropped off at the station. It was addressed to Lydia,” He said, and handed his phone to Sheriff Andrews. He looked at the phone and widened his eyes. “That’s all that was in there?” Sheriff Andrews asked. “Yeah,” Connor answered sadly, “Well that and a note that says: _two more days_.”

“What?” I asked curiously. “Lydia, I- I don’t think… you’d… want… to see… it,” Connor said with a pained face, “Really.” “Really?” I asked getting a little frustrated by his not telling me, “What is it?” “Lydia… I-,” Connor began. “SHOW ME THE DAMN PICTURE!” I ordered. This time I slammed both fists on the table. Sheriff Andrews jumped and dropped the phone on the table.

I quickly reached over and grabbed the phone before Connor could. I looked at the picture that was pulled up, and gasped. Kyle was laying on top of a half-naked and scared Naomi. My breath shuttered, and I was fighting tears. “Oh dear,” Mom said with a frantic voice after looking at it over my shoulder, “Oh my.” “Naomi. My sweet, sweet Naomi,” My breath shuttered again and there was a sharp pain in my chest. “Lydia, I’m so sorry,” Connor said. I didn’t say anything. It was to keep me from yelling, “We’re going to take you to my office. It that okay?”

“Yeah. I- I think it’s a good idea,” Mom said taking the phone from me. We both stood up, and I walked with moms arms around me, “She needs to get out of this house.”

When we got to the place Connor works at, they had me at another table. At least the chairs were more comfortable. “Oh my Gods! Will someone just end this!” I said with my head on the table. I wrapped my arms around my head, “Why is this happening? Why didn’t they take me?”

“Sweetie. You know why it’s happening, but why they didn’t take you make’s sense,” Mom answered, sitting down next to me. She had brought me a sandwich and something to drink, but I didn’t touch either. The food sat there the entire day, before she said something, “Lydia, you have to eat something.” “I physically cannot eat,” I said the picture of my sick and tortured Naomi still fresh in my mind.

“Honey,” She frowned rubbing my arm. “I can’t. Thinking about food, and eating it… It makes me sick because my sweet Naomi is being tortured and not given any food,” I explained. “Alright,” She sighed. Then Connor walked in, “Oh, please tell me you have something.”

“Nothing,” He answered voice low, “They didn’t find anything, at any of the three places we were given.” “Gods, help us… help her,” I said to myself. Mom rubbed my back again. Connor sat at the table. “Lydia… We will find her,” He said. “We only have twenty- four hours Connor,” I frowned, “If we do find her, she may be…….dead.”

 

  


**Day 2…**

“Hello, Naomi,” Kyle’s voice echoed as he was walking into the cell, “Ready?” “Please.” I begged between sobs. The thought making me sick, “No.” “Too bad. Nora tagged me in, and it’s my turn… NOW!” His sudden loud voice made me jump into action. I quickly pulled of my, now dirty, pajama pants and underwear, and he had his way. When he finished, he tagged Nora back in. She came in and beat me, kicked me, and punched me. Then there was a bright flash again, and again there was no bang.

“This will be great to give to Lydia.” Nora said with an evil tone in her voice, and I realized that she was taking pictures. Nora’s voice echoed again, “I bet she’ll see how weak you really are.” “Tell me why hasn’t she come for you yet Naomi?” Kyle asked, “We even sent her the picture for you. I don’t think she’s even looking for you Naomi.”

“She is,” I slurred, “She loves me.” “Does she really?” Kyle asked, I knew he was trying to fuck with my mind. I was high. They had drugged me, and I knew it. “Naomi, she’s not even looking. She would’ve found you by now. Don’t you think?” Nora said. “Stop it. She’s coming,” I said. “I don’t think she loves you.” Kyle said, then he chuckled, “Not as much as I do. Almost tempted to go another round.” “She doesn’t love you, or she would’ve found you by now. She’s not looking for you. She’s looking for me, because she loves me,” Nora snarled in my ear.

I couldn’t help the laugh that came from deep in my throat. “What’s so fucking funny?” Nora asked lowering down to my body lying on the floor. “You,” I answered faintly, “You keep talking all high and mighty about how much Lydia loves you, when the truth is… She couldn’t care less about you. She knows you took me, Nora. And she will kill you once she finds us.” “That’s a load of bullshit, Naomi. She loves Nora,” “Then why did _you_ marry her?” I asked him. 

“We’re not married,” Nora said, “I used his last name hoping that it would turn the away.” “See… Nora loves Lydia, and she’s going to be with her no matter what you might think!” Kyle said. “She’d kill Nora before she married her!” I yelled, and Nora gasped. “Don’t yell at him,” She said jabbing me with the cattle prod. Then they both walked out locking the gate, “Fucking bitch.”

I knew that Lydia would come for me if she knew where I was. She probably is still trying to find me. I know she’d save me if she could find me. I curled back up in fetal position and cried not liking the feel of the drugs they’d forced in me, or the feeling of being so apart from Lydia. I missed her so much.

  


  


“Lydia,” Connor said walking back in the room, and he sat in front of me, “We’ve got some good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?” “Good news,” I answered. “Good. Because it leads to the bad news,” He said. “How’s that good?” I gave him a confused stare. “I meant that it wouldn’t make sense if I told you the bad news first,” He answered, and I raised an eyebrow, “Anyways… Nora was caught. They grabbed her as she dropped off another packet addressed to you.”

“What?” I jumped up. I was sort of happy by this. Maybe they could get Naomi’s location from her… Maybe, “Wait… what’s the bad news?” “The bad news is what was in the packet,” He answered sliding it across the table. I opened it and pulled out a picture of Naomi on the floor. She was beat up and had weird dots all over her arms and legs. I noticed she was literally laying in her own vomit. I shook my head in disbelief, and pulled out the other thing. It was a note that said: _Twenty-four hours_.

“Oh my poor Naomi. We will find you,” I said sitting back down staring at the picture. Then I noticed something in the back ground behind Naomi. “Are those… prison bars?” “What?” He asked, and I passed the picture back over to him. He looked at it, “Those are prison… Cell bars.”

“Why would they have those around?” I asked. “They don’t. It may be somewhere abandoned with a holding cell, because there isn’t an abandoned prison around,” He said, “That would explain it.”

“Or one of them bought the stuff to make one,” I suggested. “No it would’ve been on the cost records. Those things are expensive, and I don’t think they would’ve had that much money lying around. They would’ve need a credit card for online purchases,” He said, “Okay, you come with me.”

“Okay,” We got up and he led me to the side of the interrogation wall where you can watch it. “Don’t do anything stupid,” He said pulling out his phone, “Hey Katie, I need information on any abandoned policed departments or buildings with holding cells. Anything that would be abandoned and have cells.”

He hung up the phone and stood next to me as we watched Sheriff Andrews interrogate Nora. Her orange hair ratted as though she hadn’t washed it in days. “Hello Nora,” Sheriff Andrews greeted as he sat down. “Sup?” She said acting like she didn’t belong there. I frowned when I watched her. The bitch was crazy, but she better tell them where my wife is.

“Let’s just get straight to it,” He sighed, “We know you know where Naomi Hamilton is. You might as well just tell us.” “Um…” She said. Watching this made me angry, but I breathed to keep my cool, “Give me one good reason why I should. Kyle’s supposed to kill her tomorrow at ten p. m. You give me one good reason to tell you.”

“I can’t believe this bitch,” I scoffed. “Lydia, stay calm,” Connor warned. “Well no matter what you’re going to prison,” Sheriff Andrews said, and she scoffed, “BUT, you can get a shorter sentence if she’s found alive.” “Keep trying,” She said, “After the shit that was done to her… Kyle and I are getting a death sentence.” “Well-.” Sheriff Andrews began, but Nora interrupted him.

“Is Lydia watching?” Nora interrupted. She turned to face us. Of course all she got was mirror, but she knew I was standing there, “Hello beautiful, I bet you want to know as badly as she wants you there. You should’ve never left me. I loved you! I bet she doesn’t even want you anymore, you know, after you let a sick man fuck her for two days.” “THAT’S IT!” I yelled and ran out of the room, and into the interrogation room. I almost made it around the table, but Connor grabbed me by my waist. My arms flinging towards her trying to grab her, “WHERE IS SHE YOU FUCKING WHORE?! WHERE’S MY WIFE?!”

“Do you really think that I’d tell you?” She asked trying to look confused. Then she smiled, “You know I was going to take you at first, but when he saw her… Kyle’s boner could’ve been seen a mile away.” “YOU FUCKING BITCH!” I tried to get to her again, and again Connor stopped me again, “WHERE IS SHE?!”

“Again, I will not tell you. I love fucking with your mind just as much as Kyle loves fucking your wife,” She answered, “You know… I watched, and my favorite part is when he could get her off. Watching her eyes roll into the back of her head. Then again she didn’t know. So high on them drugs and all.” “Where is she?” I snarled, and she laughed, “I’ll kill you.” “No you won’t,” She said.

“GO TO HELL!” I shouted. “That doesn’t sound like a person who loves her wife,” She said with a patronizing tone. “Lydia she’s not worth going to jail for,” Connor said dragging me out of the room. “Good luck,” She said as he closed the door behind us.

“Lydia!” He pinned me against the wall, “What the hell is wrong with you? If you had hit her, her lawyer could’ve sued us for you even being in the room. Or worse… we’d have to let her walk! Do you really want to spend time in jail? Think about Naomi!” “So I’m supposed to let her get away with what she’s done to Naomi?!” I asked anger flooding my veins.

“NO!” He gave me the ‘seriously’ look again, “You know she won’t away with it. Lydia… think about it. Do you want to be in the hospital with Naomi as she heals, or in Jail?” “Hospital,” I answered catching my breath, and his phone rang. “Good choice,” He said as we walked back to the office room.

  


  


**Day 3…**

It was the next day. Time was running out. Katie had told Connor about three different abandoned places with cells, but none of them were it. It was nine p.m. and we barely even had an hour left. “Connor what if we widened the search?” I suggested.

“Yeah? That’s a good idea,” He said and called Katie, “Katie, what if you broadened your search? Go at least three towns out.” “She’s around there somewhere. Nora wouldn’t want to make an hour drive every day she had Naomi,” Mom said.

“Okay,” He said and hung up, “Yeah… okay… Thank you so much… bye.” “What?” I asked almost hopeful. “There’s an old abandoned police station a couple towns over. Which is about a half hour,” He answered, “She’s sending my team there to check it out. I need to go with them.”

“I have to go with you.” I said, wanting to be there for my Naomi. “No Lydia,” He said sternly. “She’s right baby,” Mom said, “Naomi is in bad condition, she’s going to want Lydia.” He sighed, and thought about it and sighed again. “Okay, but you don’t go in until you’re called in. Kyle is a very dangerous man, and I don’t want you to get hurt. “Got it!” I smiled hopeful, and with that we were walking out and getting his SUV.

A team of two other SUVs followed with their sirens on followed. When we reached the abandoned police station, Connor got out of the vehicle. He wasted no time, going in with his team. One member stayed out with me, so that Connor could call me in when he found Naomi.

It wasn’t long before the town’s police showed up, and I was waiting there nervously. Loud shots went off, and each time made me jump. Then the team member walked over to the town’s sheriff and talked to him. After a minute, he asked a couple of paramedics to go in. I walked over to him. “Were those for Naomi?” I asked. “No,” He answered, “They haven’t found her yet. Those were for Kyle.”

“Okay.” I stood and watched as the paramedics went in and just before they came out, the Agent told me to go in with another set of paramedics. I followed them in and towards the cell. The place was old and in pieces. I was anxious and made my way in front of them. Connor’s team was leading us further in, and he was in the cell holding a limp body to him.

I was scared, but I took a deep breath and went in. I walked over to him and the limp body. It just laid there in his arm. He looked at me and shook his head. My throat caught, and I rushed over to her. I snatched Naomi’s body from Connor and cried. “No!” I cried out holding her close to me, “Naomi! I’m so sorry!”

“Lydia, the paramedics have to get to her,” Connor said placing his hand on my shoulder. I ignored him while sobbing and holding her close to me. Her chin resting on my shoulder. “Naomi! Please! Don’t leave me!” I begged as one of the paramedics knelt down on one knee. He took her wrist and pressed two fingers into the inside of it.

“She’s alive, but we have to get her attention now,” He said looking at me. I sniffled, “I’m going with her!” “Of course,” He said taking her from me. He carefully laid her out on the stretcher, and I walked with them as they carried her out.

I took deep breaths to stay calm, and covered my mouth hoping to conceal my anger. When they strapped her to the board, they walked back past me. I saw her pale face and limp body lying unmoving on the board. I followed them to the ambulance where they stopped and set her on a gurney.

There were bruises and burn marks all over her. I looked at her closer, and caressed her face. It was pale and cold. I looked at the paramedic. “She’s not dead?” I asked to be sure. “No. She needs beat up pretty bad though, and she’s got a ton of drugs in her system. But she’s not dead,’ He said.

He and the other paramedic lifted her into the ambulance to take her to the hospital. I sat on the seat next to her gurney as they put an oxygen mask on her face and hooked an IV to her. “Naomi, I’m so sorry it took so long,” I grabbed her hand, and started sobbing onto it holding it up to my face so I could kiss it. The main paramedic tapped my arm, and I looked up at him. Naomi’s hand tightened around mine, and it sent my attention over to her. Her eyes were opened and she was looking at me.

“I- I-,” She tried, but her throat was raspy, and she was struggling. A small smile of relief appeared on my mouth. I couldn’t help the sobs that forced their way out of my chest. She tried again, “I- I- L-,” “Shh…” I interrupted her not wanting to hear her struggling to talk, “It’s okay.” Then she lifted her hand a bit, and made the sign for ‘I love you’, and I let out a small laugh. “Baby girl, I love you too,” I cried. With my free hand, I started to brush her hair back.

She closed her eyes for a second, but then opened them again. “It’s very good that she’s being responsive,” The paramedic said. “So that means she’ll be okay?” I asked. “She’d be okay, physically, either way,” He said, “But the healing process will go a lot faster so long as she stays awake for the time being,” He replied, as he hooked her up to the heart monitor.

It was slow at first then went normal. I was so happy that she was going to be okay. It wasn’t long before we arrived at the hospital. They told me that I had to wait in the waiting area until they come for me. I waited and waited, and then Mom and Connor made it through the entrance doors. I stood up and walked over to mom and hugged her.

“Well?” She asked nervously. “I didn’t hear anything since we got here, but she was awake the entire ride. Good heart beat, and she…” I fought back the tears, but couldn’t hold them off and started crying in mom’s shoulder, “She tried to talk to me.”

“That’s good. Why are you crying?” She asked. “I’m happy,” I answered between sobs, “I’m just so fucking happy that she’s not dead.” “Good,” Connor smiled in relief. “I called her parents, they’re on their way, and were very upset that no one found the time to get a hold of her,” Mom frowned. “They’ll get over it,” I replied.

“Naomi Hamilton,” A doctor called. I quickly pulled myself together, and walked over to the doctor, “You here for Naomi?” “Yeah,” I replied. “Is there any family?” “She’s my wife,” I answered holding up my hand to show him the ring. “Apologies Mrs. Hamilton,” He said and continued, “She was heavily drugged and beaten, but she’s very stable. We are still trying to get the drugs out of her system, and can’t give her any pain medications in her until it’s gone. She’s got a broken arm, and leg, and a couple of broken ribs, but other than all of that… she will be fine.”

“Can I see her? Is she awake?” I asked frantically. “Yes, Um- she specifically asked for uh… Lydia,” He answered. “That’s me. I’m Lydia,” I replied. “Very well then follow me,” He said and turned around and walked away. I looked to mom, and she waved me to follow. I nodded and caught up to him. We went up the elevators five stories, down a hallway, and to the right. Her room was right there. He stopped at the door, “Now be easy. She’s still very weak.”

“Okay,” I nodded in understanding, and he opened the door for me. I passed the door and walked over to the bed. She opened her eyes and looked at me, but she didn’t do anything. She was lying there, her left arm and right leg were both in casts, and she had on a gown and was covered partially by the blanket. It made me so angry to look at her because she had all those bruises and burn marks all over, I’d hoped that some of it was just dirt, but I was sure that the doctors and nurses had cleaned her up.

She didn’t smile, she didn’t frown. She just laid there staring at me. I didn’t know what to do. They’ve managed to do this shit to her in just two and a half days, and I was worried that she’d never fully recover from it. I had to say something. So I sat in the chair and scooted as close to the bed as I could get, then I looked at her and said, “I know.”

She didn’t reply in any way. She just laid there unmoved as though I hadn’t said anything. That’s when I broke. All those tears and emotions I had held back, flew out and I laid my head next to her on the bed and sobbed. I know the drugs were still in her system. Even if she did understand what I was saying she was unable to properly respond.

“I’m so sorry, Baby Girl. I tried so hard to find you. You have no fucking idea,” I sobbed. Then I looked up at her. She still just stared at me. Her facial expression never changed, and that was upsetting me. There was a slight knock on the door, and I got up to get it. I cracked it, and Connor held up a baggy with her silver wedding band and engagement ring in it.

“These were found in the house and held as evidence. Figured you’d want them back,” He said as I took them. “Thank you,” I said looking at them. Then I looked at him and lowered my voice, “She won’t budge.” “She may just be in shock, and she still has the drugs in her system,” He suggested, and I felt her eyes on my back, “Give her a bit of time.”

“Okay” I sighed, and he shut the door on my hand making me drop the bag. My voice rose, “Shit Connor!” “What? What?” He opened the door back up. “You shut it on my hand,” I informed bending down and picking the bag back up. I shoved it in my pocket and cradled my hand. “Well if there’s one place to do it…” He joked.

“Shut up and move.” I walked out into the hallway, and caught a nurse. She gave me an ice pack for it, and I walked back into the room. Naomi looked at me, but now her expression was worried. I walked over to the chair and sat back down. “I’m fine,” I assured, my heart leaping as she looked at me without a blank expression.

She held out her non-cast hand for mine, and I gave her my good hand. She threw it out and reached her hand back out, her head bobbing a bit the entire time. This time, I knew what she wanted and gave her my injured hand. She looked at it, and held it to her lips and kissed it.

I could feel her hands shaking the whole time, but I still smiled a little as she did it. She noticed my small smile, and returned it. I stood up and sat on the bed next to her, and I leaned over to kiss her. She kissed me back weakly. Her kisses still soft and sweet to me. I leaned back and looked at her face. It was bruised and cut. “You’re still beautiful to me,” I smiled hoping she could understand me. I know what drugs can do to your senses.

“You spoil me,” Her voice cracked, and I smiled that she’d finally spoke. The hour I was already in here was too quiet. “You deserve to be,” I choked out a chuckle, “You’re tough and it scares me to say no to you. When it comes to something you want, Of course.”

“I’m not strong,” Her voice cracked again. I felt bad, because it sounded like it hurt her to talk, “I’m weak, and you shouldn’t have to protect me. It should be me protecting you.” “No. No. No. No,” I caressed her face. I looked deep into her tired eyes, so that she’d know I was telling the truth, “Naomi Hamilton, you are the strongest person in the world to make it through such as you did.” “Did you not see the pictures? I know she took them. She said that she was going to send them to you,” She asked.

“I did,” I answered and her shaky hands covered her face, “They didn’t show me that you’re weak. From one to the next you were still alive, and here now you’re still alive. You’ve made it through, and to me… that’s what they showed.” “Really?” She looked at me hopeful. “Yeah,” I leaned down and kissed her again, “Does your throat hurt? You’re a little hoarse.”

“Not really, but I still feel a little high. Like I’m still coming down,” She answered, and I knew she was hiding something when she changed the subject, “You won’t believe how happy I was when I saw you in the ambulance. I heard your voice, and you were there. It was blurry, but I knew it was you. I knew that you wouldn’t leave me with them.” “Never,” I shook my head and sniffled.

“You’re my everything, Naomi,” I said kissing her cheek. She winced a bit expecting something to hurt, “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” “N-no I-,” She cut herself off. “I understand,” I said squeezing her hand a bit, “I’m here for you. I know what you’ve been through. I know what they did to you, and I want you to know that I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” “You’re a saint!” She said sobbing. I leaned down and hugged her, letting her tears stain my shirt. “I will always be here for you, okay?” I said softly, and she nodded a bit, “Good.”


	12. Mac and Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Connor go home to clean up the house...

“You smell terrible!” She laughed through the sobs, as I pulled away. I laughed a bit as well, because I was happy to see her smiling. Even if I could see the pain behind her eyes. “Yep, I haven’t showered in three days because I thought my disgusting smell would make you laugh,” I joked. “Well, it worked,” She giggled. Her head was still bobbing a little, and she did look and sound a little loopy. “Well, at least it made you smile. That’s my favorite part about you,” I said. “My smile?” She asked. “Yep,” I chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’ll get myself cleaned up once I get a chance to grab us a change of clothes.”

“I’ll probably be here a while,” She said still in her loopy voice. “I know, I’d rather you be here than there. So it’s all good,” I assured, “Taking a shower and eating were the last things on my mind, Naomi.” “You didn’t eat? For three days?” She asked squinting her eyes a bit. She was high off the drugs still so she may be trying to focus on me. I’ve noticed that she was doing this the whole time. I gave her a small nod. “Lydia, why didn’t you eat?” She asked.

“I couldn’t, Naomi. I couldn’t eat, knowing they weren’t going to give you food. I physically could not eat,” I answered. “You need food then,” She said reaching for her help button. “Naomi, I’m fine,” I said placing my hand over hers before she could reach it. “No you’re not, Lyd. You need to eat something,” She frowned, then her head dropped a bit.

“You alright?” I asked brushing her hair off her face. “Lyd, I- I don’t feel so good,” She said. “H-Hold on! I’ll get a doctor!” I said jumping up and running to the door. I opened it and ran to one of the nurses at the nursing station across the hall from her. “Yes, ma’am. What can I do for you?” One asked. She had long dark hair and dark tanned skin.

“My wife, she said she’s not feeling really good,” I said a bit panicky. “Like how?” She asked. “She’s Naomi Hamilton,” I said. “Oh! I’m coming,” She said hopping up and following me back into the room. Naomi was holing her hand over her mouth as the nurse grabbed a bowl from one of the cabinets in the room and held it to Naomi’s chest.

That’s when Naomi moved her hand and vomited in the bowl. Her stomach pretty much let loose, and she couldn’t stop for about ten to fifteen maybe twenty minutes. It wasn’t constant, but the nurse stayed with us, and it kept Naomi in a weird position.

She was sobbing while it was happening, not liking the fact that she couldn’t stop. “It’s okay, Mrs. Hamilton. Don’t fight it,” The nurse assured. I took Naomi’s hand in mine. “It’s okay, baby,” I assured. I looked at the nurse. “Why won’t it stop? She hasn’t eaten in three days, and vomited while she was- she was there,” I asked. “It’s the drugs, Mrs.-,” “Hamilton,” I introduced, “I’m Naomi’s wife.”

“Oh! Sorry. I’m Nurse Sloan,” She apologized. “It’s okay, you’re not the first I’ve had to tell the past few days,” I said. “Anyway, it’s the drugs. Her vomiting like this is somewhat of a good thing. Not good because she hasn’t eaten, but good because this is the drugs leaving her body,” She explained, “We do need to get some food in her system though. Thank you for reminding me.”

“After all of this? I’m not eating!” Naomi finally managed to take a full breath. “Baby, you’ll be just fine,” I assured squeezing her hand. “No, I feel like if I eat anything, I’ll just toss it back up,” She groaned. Her stomach forced more out into the bowl. I brushed her hair back behind her ear.

After that, she was quiet for a moment, the occasional moan or groan coming out as she tried to figure out if she was done or not. “Okay, I- I think I’m done,” She finally said.

“Okay, I’m going to take this and clean it out,” Nurse Sloan said walking away with the large contaminated bowl. She set it on the counter for the moment and pulled another one out of the cabinet, “Mrs. Hamilton, here’s one for you in case you’re not as done as you thought.” “Thank you,” I said. “I’ll have someone bring you in something to eat. It’s not good for you to be vomiting with no food in your stomach. Alright?” She said.

Naomi had gone into another world for the moment, so I nodded. “I got you,” I smiled. “Alright. I’ll be back. There’s a pitcher of water there, you can give her something to drink. That’s good to have on her stomach as well,” She said as she walked out with the bowl.

I walked over and poured a glass of water for Naomi, then walked over and sat back down. “Baby?” I asked tapping her shoulder. She snapped back into reality and looked at me. Tears streaming down her face. “Yeah,” She choked. “You okay?” I gave her a saddened look, she gave me a small nod… then shook her head.

“Here, take a drink,” I said offering her the water. She shook her head again. “All that’s gotta have your throat sore,” I pushed. Then she took the drink from me using both her hands, that including her broken one. She chugged the whole glass and handed it back to me. “Thank you,” I said taking it and setting it on the table next to her bed.

“It wouldn’t stop,” She cried. “I know. I know,” I said softly taking her hand back in mine, “It’s over for the moment, baby girl. How do you feel?” “Like shit,” She replied, “Everything’s hurting, including my head.” “Here,” I said getting up again. I grabbed her glass and poured some more water in there, then I turned off the lights to the room. “How’s that?” I asked walking back over with the glass.

“It’s a little better. Thank you, Lyd,” She said taking the glass from me. “We’ll have the nurse get you some medicine if you’re ready for it. They didn’t want to do a bad combo of drugs and medicine, so they waited,” I explained. “It’s okay,” She assured, “Thank you.” “For what? The water?” I asked looking at her confused.

“For finally finding me,” She answered, “I didn’t know how much longer I had… until I saw you. I heard you screaming for me. Then I opened my eyes, and I was in an ambulance with a very blurry you sitting over me.” “Baby girl it’s over now,” I assured placing my hand on her thigh because her hand was holding the cup. “I heard Connor, too,” She said. “He was the one who found you,” I explained. “I knew I heard him,” She chuckled, “Where are they?” “Waiting for your parents in the waiting room,” I answered, “I can shoot them a text to come up, if you’d like.” “If you don’t mind,” She replied.

**To mom:** **Hey… she want’s to see y’all. .**

“Did you text her?” Naomi asked. “Yeah, just did,” I smiled setting it down, “They called Hudson and Violet. Everyone’s been so consumed in trying to find you and keep me calm… they forgot to call them. So your parents didn’t know that you’d been kidnapped… until you got here,” I explained. “Seriously?” She asked. “Yep. Finding you was the only thing on my mind the whole time,” I said.

“So finding me came before food? Sleep? And even Showering?” She asked. “Always,” I smiled. “You could’ve eaten,” She said as my phone chimed. I unlocked it and read it.

**From mom: Her parents are here, and they want to see her!**

“You’re parents are here,” I told Naomi, “They wanna see you.” “Okay,” she replied, “I’ll visit with them, but I want them gone the moment they start blaming you. You hear me?” She said sternly. “That will be for you to tell them to leave,” I said. “I will,” She frowned. I pulled out my phone again and texted mom.

**To mom: She said fine, but she will make them leave if they blame me for what happened.**

** From mom: Then you might as w ell tell her to make them leave. **

“Already?” I asked the phone dialing her number. It rang once and she picked it up yelling something incoherent. “Yes baby?” She answered in a flustered tone. “Already?” I asked, and Naomi gave me a confused look. “Yes, baby. Want me to put her on the phone?” “I’d rather you not, but go ahead,” I said. 

I heard the phone pass hands and Violet greeted rather rudely, “Hello?” “Hey, I cannot believe you’re going to sit there and cause an argument right now,” I said as calmly as I could. “Well if it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t even have to be here right now,” She said.

“Excuse me?!” My voice rose a bit causing Naomi to jump a little, “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even have this kind of relationship with her. So do you really want to sit there and blame me?! I have been so fucking stressed and angry lately that the last thing I need to deal with is you, so fuck you!” I heard Naomi and Violet gasp. “How dare you?!” Violet said.

“Baby, don’t listen to her,” Naomi frowned snatching the phone from me before I could hear the rest of Violet’s sentence. “Mom… yes I heard what she said!.. No I’m not fucking doing that!… No! No!” Naomi’s voice sounded more and more stressed.

Her heart monitor started to pick up a bit, “It’s not her fault, mom. Look here, just take your dumb ass and go home! I don’t want you here if you’re going to do nothing but blame my wife and her family for what happened. I wont have that!” She said into the phone. “Just for that, go home! And I don’t ever want to talk to you or dad again!” She yelled hanging up the phone.

Her heart rate didn’t calm down. She looked frustrated. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” I said, “I thought I’d try to make that relationship better.” “It’s not your fault, Lydia,” She said looking at me, “None of this is! Don’t you dare believe a word mom said to you.” “Thank you,” I smiled, “But I know that it is. Nora, she’s- if it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t have even known who you were.”

“It’s not your fault. Lydia, I love you so much, so please don’t blame yourself,” She pleaded. I sighed, “Okay. I’ll- I’ll try not to.” “Thank you,” She smiled. There was a slight knock on the door, and Nurse Sloan walked in. “Here you go,” She said carrying a small tray of food, “I know you are very hungry, so I picked out something small for you to eat.”

  
“Thank you, nurse Sloan,” I said as she set the food up in Naomi’s lap. “What about Lydia? She hasn’t eaten in three days either,” Naomi asked. “I’m fine, Ni-Ni. Eat,” I said. “I could get you something to eat, Mrs. Hamilton,”  Nurse Sloan said. “No, I’m fine,” I said denying the offer. “Lyd, I can’t eat in front of you knowing that you haven’t eaten either,” Naomi said. 

“Naomi, you _need_ to eat. Eat,” I demanded. She sighed and started to eat the food that Nurse Sloan had brought her. After the first bite, she began to scarf it down. “Slow down, Ni-Ni. You’ll give yourself the hiccups,” I chuckled. I turned to Nurse Sloan, “Thank you. So much.” “Of course, it’s my job, sweetie.  Let me know if you need anything else, and you can just put the tray on the counter when she’s done,” She replied. “I will, thank you,” I smiled.

She nodded and walked out of the room. I sat down and just watched Naomi as she ate. “Do you want the toast?” She offered. “Nah, it’s your food. You need to eat it,” I answered. “Please eat the toast,” She pushed. “Naomi, I’ll eat in a bit. I’m going to have to go and get some clothes and clean up, I’ll eat when I do that. Okay?” I asked as the door opened again.

“Fine,” She sighed as she started to eat the toast. “Hello ladies,” Connor greeted as he and mom walked in. “Hey sweetheart,” Mom said rushing over and kissing the top of Naomi’s head. “You’re looking so much better than last night,” Connor said smiling, “It’s good to see you awake.”

“Thank you, Connor,” Naomi replied with a mouthful of toast. “Mrs. Richardson, could you make sure that Lyd eats when she goes home to get our stuff?” “I told you that I would, Naomi,” I said as mom gave me a stern look. “Of course I will,” Mom replied. “Thank you,” Naomi smiled, “ _Now_ , I feel better.” “Well, good,” I smiled standing up and kissing her cheek. I picked up her empty try and walked it over to the counter. 

\-------------------

“Thank you for giving me a ride, Connor,” I smiled. “Of course, Sweetheart,” He said as I opened the door to the house. “Would you like some help cleaning?” He asked. “Sure, if you want to,” I replied. Mom had stayed at the hospital to keep Naomi some company.

“I think I’m going finally eat something before I get started,” I said walking towards the kitchen. “Alright,” He said. “You want anything?” I asked as we entered the kitchen. “Sure. What do you got?” “Whatever the investigators didn’t get into,” I said looking through the cabinets. “Well, you know… they have to search the place up and down for clues,” He chuckled. 

“I’ll let that slide being that she’s safe and okay,” I said pulling the only thing that was left down. We didn’t really keep it stocked up. “How about Mac and Cheese?” I smiled. “That’s all that’s left?” He chuckled. “Yeah, we needed to go shopping. We’d planned to do so, but… you know,” I frowned looking down at my feet and sighed. 

“Hey, Mac and Cheese sounds perfect,” He said sincerely trying to help me feel better. “Thank you. I know it’s not a lot,” I said setting it on the counter. I pulled a pot off the hanging rack and filled it with water, then set it on the stove turning it on to boil the water. “You make it like your mother?” He asked as I sat down at the dining table.

“It’s the only way I know how to make it,” I said trying at a smile, but he saw through it. He sat down at the end of the table while I was on the corner. “Lydia, she’s okay. She will be okay,” He said placing his hand on mine as they rested on the table. “I- I know. I’m sorry that I’m not being much company. She- she’s going to be hurting a long time,” I sighed. “How do you know?” He asked. “Because I was raped too, Connor. It-it was nothing like that, and it still hurts me to remember it,” I explained. 

“But she has you, Lyd. A very kind and patient wife who loves her dearly,” He assured. “I know, and I do… but- I don’t know how patient I can be,” “What do you mean?” “I- I was the weak one. She was the strong one. She protected me. Then all of the sudden she gets beaten and raped, and the Gods only know what else,” I frowned tears trying to escape my eyes. “Lydia, I know that you’re upset, but you understand her more than anyone else. That’s not something that everyone in her position gets, She has-,” 

“It should’ve been me,” I broke down and started sobbing. I folded my arms on the table and cried into them. “I’m so sorry, Lydia,” He said rubbing my back for comfort. “She’s not strong enough to handle this. Why didn’t they take me?” I frowned looking up at him. “You saw Nora’s file, Lyd. You saw what she was capable of. She may have seen Naomi as a bargaining ship. In her mind, she could have thought that you still loved her,” He said with a frown. 

“I just- what could make someone do that?” I asked him, hoping that he’d have the answer for it. “Anything could have made her do that. That’s starting with her mental capacity. People that are a bit… off… like that, they think differently. Nora had been sitting on all the anger and confusion that she’d been feeling all the years you were apart. She hit a mental break somewhere along the way, and took it out on you,” 

“But all I did- all I did was shoved her into a fountain. She insulted me and Naomi! I had to defend my wife… well… she was my fiance at the time. I can’t believe that her taking a small bath in a fountain would cause her to do all of this!” I said getting into my anger. “Lydia, it’s over now honey,” He assured taking my hand back. “I know,” I sighed.

The water had started boiling, so I walked over to the stove. I opened the box and poured it into the pot. Then I grabbed a giant spoon and started to stir it. “I just wish so badly that it had been me. Naomi did NOT deserve that! She was so innocent, and it’s my fault. She would’ve never gotten hurt if I hadn’t- if I hadn’t met her,” I said watching the water boil. The little bubbles and foam was kind of entrancing. 

“You’re not wishing that you’d never met her, are you?” He asked still sitting at the table. “I don’t know what I wish, Connor. Honestly, I wish that I never met Nora. But I know why I did,” I replied. “What happened?” He asked. “Well… Nora was my very first girlfriend. Usually I’d date guys as covers or just someone to understand, but they didn’t. They never did. They were always leaving me. But then I met Nora, and she was… different… at first,” I began. 

“How did you meet?” He asked. “At a party. I snuck out to the party. Nora and I were already only friends, and I never knew that she was a lesbian. I had started looking at girls more than guys. I knew there was something different about myself. At the party, I was playing spin the bottle with a group of friends… and her,” I explained. “I think I’m getting the picture,” He sighed, “She spun and it landed on you?” “Vice versa,” I said, and he nodded. 

“Oh okay, and you kissed her thinking, ‘what the fuck’. And you two started dating after admitting that you did feel something for one another?” He asked. “Yeah. I did feel that way, but then she started to close up and cheat on me. She slept with so many other women. From the time she left for Dunsieth to the time I did, she had four girlfriends and that wasn’t including me, Connor. I didn’t expect that she was crazy because of her head being fucked up,”

“You couldn’t have known sweetie,” He frowned. “I should’ve known,” I sighed shaking my head, “And now Naomi’s hurt.” “She’s not dead, Lydia,” He said. “She’s not,” I smiled faintly. I was so happy when I saw her eyes open in the ambulance. She- she tried talking to me. “She loves you, Lydia, and maybe if you had never met Nora, you wouldn’t have ever met Naomi. You’d be with someone else that you _think_ you love,” He said. 

“You might be right,” I said as I walked the pot over to the sink and strained the water out of the noodles. He waiting to continue the conversation so I could focus on making them the way mom did. The butter, the milk, the cheese. Mom always added those things to it.

I served our bowls, and we sat in silence as we ate.  He smiled and hummed in delight at the mac and cheese. “Oh, Gods have mercy,” I chuckled eating a bite. He chuckled, “It’s not your mother’s, but it’s just as good.” “Thank you,” I rolled my eyes, “Even though it’s the exact same way she made it. Maybe you like hers more because  _she_ made it?” “Maybe,” He laughed. 

“Do you want to know something, I think you might like to hear?” I asked. “Sure,” He said taking another bite. “If there’s anyone on this planet I would’ve picked for my mother after my father died… it would be you,” I said with a smile, “You care so much for her, and you know that you can’t replace my father… you don’t even try, but that doesn’t stop you from at least trying to be one.” “Thank you,” He smiled. 

“I know that my father is watching her, and I- I know that he would be grateful for what you’ve done for her and I,” I added, “And I want to say thank you for all that you’ve done. Especially when trying to find Naomi.” “You know what?” He asked. “What?” I looked at him again after taking another bite. “I think I’m starting to like your Mac and cheese more,” He chuckled, and I laughed saying, “Don’t tell mom that.”


	13. Irreplaceable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Connor plant a tree

“Thank you for helping me,” I said as Connor and I cleaned up the house. We had vacuumed up the muddy footprints and glass from the broken urn and picture frame. I walked over to our trashcan and frowned and mentally smiled when I realized that we’d taken out the trash that night before we went to bed.

Connor stood next to me and sighed, “Lydia… I am so sorry about Bobo’s ashes.” “It’s alright,” I sighed, “But we need to do something about them. There’s no putting him back in another urn.” “Hmm… I have an idea,” He said walking for the door, “I’ll be right back just leave it for now. Okay?” “Okay,” I frowned as he left the house. I watched as he got in his car and left. I sighed, “Where is that man going?”

I did as he said and left it alone, then I walked over to the table and cleaned it off. I replaced everything else on the mantle and coffee table and found the home phone and put it back on his charger thing as well. I clicked on a few buttons and checked the voicemail.

“You have three unheard messages...” The robot woman said. “First unheard message...” “Hey Lydia, I was wondering what was going on. You hadn’t been at work today, and I was just checking to see if you were okay,” Nessie’s voice came on the speaker.

“Second unheard message...” “Shit Lydia, I’m so sorry. Look I hope you listen to my message soon. Don’t worry about the store, I’ve got it for now. I’ll let everyone know about the family emergency and postpone the fittings and dresses. I’m so sorry, and I hope that Naomi is okay. Please let me know if she’s alright… I am so sorry.”

“Last unheard message...” “Hey Naomi, this is Hannah Lowery. I- I thought that maybe we could talk. You know go to dinner and catch up. I- I’m sorry, that came out wrong. Just please give me a call at this number. I’m sure you probably have caller ID or something. Anyway, um- yeah- goodbye,” This Hannah girl’s voice came on the speaker.

I gave the phone a confused glare. Who is _this_ bitch? And what did she want with Naomi. Well.. I mean, I know what she wants with my Naomi, but I wonder why she’s calling her now. Naomi’s married… to me. I had to find out, but I wasn’t sure if it would stress Naomi out. I didn’t want Naomi to get stressed, she just- okay my mind is getting the best of me already. 

I pulled out my phone and called mom’s phone, “Hello baby. Is everything alright?” She  greeted picking up the phone. “Yeah, I’m fine, is she awake?” “Yeah? What’s up?” She asked. “Can you put her on the phone for me? I need to ask her something,” I said. “Alright,” She said, and I heard the phone transfer hands. 

“Hey baby,” Naomi greeted with a confusingly chipper voice. “Hey, I hate to bring up your past in this moment, but it was going to happen sooner or later,” I began. “What’s wrong?” She asked confused. “Um- Connor went to do something, I don’t know what. So I decided to check the messages we had. Who’s um- Hannah-,” “Delete it.” She interrupted me.

“What? You didn’t even hear her last name,” I said confused. “Lyd, the only Hannah I know is Hannah Lowery. She was an- an old friend of mine,” She explained, “She’s done something that I could never forgive. I want nothing more to do with her, please delete the message.” “Are you sure?” I asked. “I’m positive,” She answered. “Okay,” I said deleting the messages. “Thank you,” She said as she heard the robot woman say “Messages deleted”. 

“I didn’t stress you out or anything?” I asked. “No. No it’s fine. I’ll um- I’ll explain it later. Just- did you eat?” She asked trying to change the subject. “Yeah, Connor and I had some mac and cheese. I definitely need to do some shopping,” I answered. “Good, and do it while I’m still in the hospital, you know how needy I can be,” She joked, and I rolled my eyes. 

“Do you want me to pull the couch-bed out? I’m guessing that mom and Connor are going to stay with us for a bit,” I asked. “Yeah. I’m also sure they are,” She replied with a small chuckle. “What?” I heard mama in the back ground, along with the heartbeat monitor. 

“How are you feeling?” I asked trying to calm my nerves that the heartbeat monitor kept causing. “I’m okay, baby. I’m finally keeping the food down. What about you?” She asked. “Tired,” I answered with a sigh. “Well… you didn’t get any sleep for a few days, so...” I heard mom, I realized then that Naomi had put the phone on speaker. 

“It’s not my fault,” I defended. “Where’s Connor?” Mom asked. “Not here, he went to go and do something. I’m not sure what it is. He just said that he’d be right back,” I replied not really giving her the full details that it had to do with Bobo’s ashes. Then Connor’s truck pulled into the driveway, “There he is! Gotta go.”

“Okay, I love you!” Naomi said. “I love you, too, baby,” I smiled before she hung up the phone. I put it back in my pocket and walked out the front door to help him carry in a tree. “You are not bringing a tree into my house!” I laughed. “It’s not just a tree. It’s going to be Bobo’s memorial tree. We’ll put it in the back yard so people can see it. It’ll be his final resting place.” “Connor,” I choked, as I followed him through the house grabbing the trash bag out of the can. 

“The shovels should be in the little shed over there,” He said. “I know,” I smiled. “Naomi likes flowers and planted the little garden,” I chuckled walking over and grabbing a couple of shovels out of the shed. I walked over and handed him one. “Lydia, you don’t have to dig the hole,” He said sincerely.

“Please, I’ve dug enough metaphorical holes. I think a real one is going to be helpful,” I chuckled as I started digging. “Okay,” He sighed. “Plus, I need to shower anyway, so I’ll be fine,” I said as he started to help. When we finally got the hole deep enough, he pulled the tree out of the pot and set it down in the hole.

I grabbed the bag, and we carefully sifted out all of the urn pieces, then poured the bag into the hole with the tree. “I have to say, this is a good idea,”  I said as we started to bury the base of the tree. “Thank you. It was an ongoing tradition in my side of the family. When a family member like this dies, we bury him under a tree. Some even do rosebushes. Life birthing from death. I figured a tree would be a lot less maintenance,”  He said. 

“It’s okay. I love it. Being that his urn is broken, Bobo gets the burial he deserves,” I said as we finished. “Oh shit, I almost forgot,” He said running into the house. I sighed and stood there, when he came back three minutes later, he was carrying a giant yellow ribbon. “Is that a memorial ribbon?” I asked. “Yep, no one cuts down a memorial ribbon,” He said tying it onto the tree, “Eventually it will weather down, and you’ll have to get another one.” “I’ll get it,” I said. “Ta da!” He smiled showing a decent looking bow tied to a tree. 

“Thank you, Connor,” I said sincerely. “You’re welcome Lydia,” He replied wrapping his arm around my shoulder as I looked at the tree. “A proper burial for Bobo. Now he won’t get thrown away again,” I smiled. “You okay,” He asked. “I didn’t expect my week to go this way,” I frowned. “I know, but it did. There’s really nothing you can do about it. All you can do is hope that things will get better from here,” He said squeezing my shoulders gently. 

“I’m sorry that you got dragged into this,” I apologized. “Lydia, it’s my job! I would’ve been dragged into this either way,” He assured, then he kissed me on the top of my head. “Well, it may not mean much now, but… thank you,” I said. “Actually… it means a lot,” He said, “Most people are too into wanting to find their loved ones or healing, that they forget. Sometimes it helps to know that they’re thankful… but it’s a different story to hear it. Even if it’s from someone I know and love.”

“You love me?” I asked looking up at him. I knew what he meant, but it still came as a shock to me. “As a daughter, of course. As much as I wanted a baby girl to raise, I’m glad to have you to call my daughter,” He said. “Thank you,” I smiled. 

“And I think we should go inside and finish up inside,” He said moving to walk away. “Yeah, you’re right...” I said taking another moment at the tree, then walking away with him.

\-------------------

“Alright, one… two… three...” Connor counted for us to open up the couch bed. We finally got to pulling out the couch bed after scooting the couch backwards so They’re not too close to the TV, and unable to watch it. I grabbed some extra blankets and sheets and helped Connor set up the bed. 

“How long are y’all going to be staying?” I asked. “If you want, we can stay as long as you need. Even if it’s until she can walk on her leg again. It might be a while, but your mother doesn’t want you overdoing yourself. You have a store to keep up, and it’s okay to need a bit of help. Okay?” He gave me a serious look.

“I know. I’m not denying it. I’m just asking so I can be ready for when I have to do this on my own,” I said with a sigh. “You don’t have to do anything on your own, Lydia,” He assured, “I’ll be here to help her get up and down the stairs with her cast on, and the three of us will provide her some company for the time being that she’s stuck in the house.” “Good, cause I can only punch, I don’t trust my own strength to hold her up when going down or up stairs,” I chuckled, and he laughed a bit.

“I keep the extra pillows in the closet upstairs, would you like me to get them?” I asked. “It’s alright, Lyd. I got it,” He smiled walking away. I sighed and our frames on the mantel caught my attention for the first time today. The picture that I cherished the most… gone. It was the one on our wedding day. Mom had gotten a good shot of us kissing on the dock. The sunset in the background. It looked like one of those photos that you could buy online. Like the ones that weren’t real. 

I frowned at the missing spot, wishing they hadn’t messed with anything on my mantle. Bobo’s ashes. Mine and Naomi’s wedding photo. Naomi. Some things are irreplaceable. Like Bobo’s ashes, or Naomi. I can’t find another woman as wonderful as Naomi.  She’s not someone that could be replaced. I’d probably just… die alone after her. That would be fine with me. Meeting her in my personal heaven. It would be all around her. 

“I’m back,” He said carrying a stack of four pillows, he could barely see over them because of the good quality. I continued to stare at the mantle. The missing spot. The other pictures. There were many. There was one of me, mom, dad, and it even had Bobo in it. That’s the photo I always carried with me. The only memory I had of them before I was taken away.

There was one of me and Naomi on our first date. Yes it was a cute little selfie that her Uncle Dom took for us. He was so cool. I hadn’t seen him around in a while, but he’d sold the diner and went traveling with his girlfriend. Sending us postcards left and right. There was one I wanted of Naomi and I, her brother and his husband, and her sister and her boyfriend.  Then there was one of the siblings. 

T hen there was one of Mom, Conner, and I. That was was a special one. My entire family was on this mantle. And the center piece  _was_ Bobo’s ashes. Along with the wedding photo. 

“Huh?” Connor said right behind me, making me jump. “Jeez you startled me,” I said throwing my hand to my heart. “I’m sorry,” He chuckled. “So what was the ‘huh’ for?” I asked. “I didn’t think that I’d make it on the mantle,” He said pointing to the photos he was in. “What? You liar!” I laughed, “This is my family. My whole family! Of course you made it on the mantle!” 

“You’re so sweet, Lydia. Please don’t ever lose that,” He said. “Never,” I sighed, “I just wish she’d gone for the other photo, and not our wedding photo.” “Well, the fun thing about these modern days is, that photo is still on your mother’s phone, laptop, tablet… She’s got like 5 electronic copies of your wedding. And personally I think the one she took while you and Naomi were dancing was so much better,” He smiled. “Well, I guess we could frame both copies and put them up there. There’s more room,” I chuckled. 

“And when there’s new additions?” He asked, and I looked at him curiously. “What do you mean? I asked. “Well I mean, you and Naomi could adopt, your mom could get pregnant, you could get a dog, you could get a cat, and you could-,” “Hold on, back that up a second,” I said holding my hand up to stop him, “My mom could get pregnant? What made you think of that?” I asked.

He gave me a raised eyebrow and it hit me. “Wait… is mama pregnant?” I asked him, and he just bit his lip and nodded slowly, “What?!” “Yep. That was my bad… actually,” “Well no shit!” I laughed. “You’re not upset?” “You better take care of her,” I warned. “I will. You know that,” He chuckled. “ Wow, I’m going to get a sister or a brother,” “Yup,” He confirmed. 

“Wow… I never thought I’d have one to be honest. I didn’t even think that you and mom were trying,” I said. “Well that’s the funny thing. We were at one point, but it wasn’t happening. We went to the doctor, and we were told that she couldn’t. But the little miracle baby’s coming,” He smiled. “I bet mom wanted to tell me, didn’t she?” “Yeah, but she was really nervous, and I couldn’t have that. I assured her that I’d tell you,” He explained. “Why? So if I’m mad, it would be at you?” “Well no, but- I actually don’t know why she was nervous about it,” He frowned. 

“It’s okay,” I smiled, “I’m happy for the both of you.” “Thank you,” He smiled, “I forget how mature you are about life changing things.” “Which is why, you’re going to be the god-parents. I mean, it ensures that if something happens to your mother and I, he or she will go to you and Naomi. I personally couldn’t think of anyone better,” He explained. “Thank you, Connor,” I smiled. 

“You’re welcome,” He smiled, “We’ll talk to your mom about printing out another copy of the picture. Okay?” He asked. “Okay, and I’m so sorry you have to sleep on the couch down here. It’s just- I’ve got Naomi’s office in there, and mine in my old room.” “It’s okay, but what are you going to do when you decide to bring children in?” 

“Naomi and I already agreed on using my room as both of our office. So long as she don’t mind fabric shreds and needle cushions all over the place,” I laughed at the last part, “She thought she’d take advantage of the extra room.” “And y’all gave up the guestroom for an office?” He asked. “No, _she_ gave up the guestroom for an office, and I couldn’t say ‘no’ to her. You know I hate saying ‘no’ to her,” I said. 

“Okay, well I’ve got the rest of this. You go on up and get your shower, and we’ll go to the store to get that kitchen stocked up. You mama’s eating for two, she’d die if she walked in and saw nothing in that kitchen,” He chuckled. “Okay,” I said walking up the stairs.

I went into mine and Naomi’s room… which was the master bedroom that we changed everything in.  The wall, the carpet, and even got a new bed. It was beautiful, and land was tall antique looking with curtains hanging from the top. 

It was up against the wall between the windows with the TV across from it on the dresser. The room was a blood red wall, and had a shade lighter bedding on the bed. The floor was a dark wood. We’d really made it our own little antique paradise. Antique dresser, bed, end tables. The rest of the house was modern, but our room was the most special part.

I walked into the bathroom, and queue more antique paradise. We had some antique looking two person vanity, and even a claw foot tub. But I was in too much a hurry to take a bath, so I took a shower in our beautiful glass shower instead.

As I was standing there, I couldn’t help but let the water pour over me after washing up with soap and shampoo. The thought of nearly losing Naomi hanging over me, and finally having a chance to be alone helped nothing. I just burst out into sobs covering my face with my hands for a bit hoping that it would just let it out and calm me down.

Suddenly, I was hit with a huge dose of anxiety. I hadn’t had a depression attack like this before. In fact, I’ve been nothing but happy for five years. From the day I married the woman I love… I was happy. But now that’s changed…

I started to feel lightheaded and my ears started to ring. My vision turned into a dark tunnel, and I was scared. “Connor!” I yelled out, knowing that he was the only person here. I got nothing withing seconds. I nearly fell, but managed safely into a seated position on the floor of the dark tiled shower. 

I heard an echoing version of a door busting open. “Lydia?” He asked and rushed over to the door. He grabbed my robe that was made of the same cloth as a towel, and quickly turned off the shower. “Lydia, hey. Look at me,” He said as I was breathing heavily and he helped me into the robe and closed it and loosely tied it off, “Lydia, panicking is only making it worse.”

“I can’t- I can’t-,” “Shh, it’s okay,” He said fully getting on his knees. “I need- I need to… to...” Then everything went black.

\----------------

The ringing finally stopped, and everything was back to normal. “Yeah, I got her in the bed,” I heard Connor’s say. I figured he was on the phone, “Yeah. I think she’s waking up, you want to talk to her?… Sure...” “Connor,” I moaned a bit opening my eyes just a slit.

“Hey, there you are,” He smiled as everything had gone back into focus. I frowned when I saw the phone on his ear, “How are you feeling?” “Okay… I guess,” I said not really feeling like getting out of the bed. “Good, Naomi want’s to talk to you,” He said passing me the phone. I took it and rolled over turning away from him. I was embarrassed that I’d done this. I placed the phone between my ear and the pillow.

“Naomi?” I asked to be sure she was still on the phone. “Hey, sweetie. You okay?” She asked sincerely. “I don’t know,” I choked. “I’ll give you a bit of privacy,” Connor said leaving me alone in the room with Naomi on the phone. “What happened?” Naomi asked, “Connor said you were hyperventilating. Was it an anxiety attack?” “Yeah,” I frowned. I felt so bad, and tears were rushing down my cheeks, “I don’t know why. Everything’s fine. You’re okay, and everything’s going so well… then this...” 

“Lydia, You’re okay,” “I don’t feel it. I- I know none of this is about me, but I feel like I just made it that way,” I cried, and she cooed, “It’s okay, baby. It’s not your fault.” “I know it’s not. Now I don’t even want to get up. Connor and I have to go to the store because there is now zero food in the house,” I sighed. “Will you do it for me?” She asked.

“You know I will get up. I just, I fell a little embarrassed. He saw me in the shower,” I said, and she chuckled, “I think that’s the last thing he was worried about, baby.” “I know, I know. I just- I’m glad he was here,” I said. “Me too, and I’m glad they’re going to be staying with us a while. Do you have everything?” She asked knowing that changing the subject helped. “Everything but the food. Those bastards broke Bobo’s urn,” I answered. “They what?” She asked in shock. I’d forgotten she was never told.

“And ruined our wedding photo, but Connor managed to help fix everything. He bought a tree, and we planted it in the back yard with his ashes. Then he said that mom had a bunch of copies of the photo, so we’ll frame another. Then he said that- that- I’ll tell you when I get there,” I said keeping mom’s pregnancy to myself. “Okay, well get here soon, okay?” She said. “I will,” I sniffled.

“Don’t cry, Lydia,” I could hear the frown in her voice. “I’m crying already, I’ve been crying. I’ve missed you so much, and now I’ve completely embarrassed myself.” “You did not embarrass yourself. That’s why they’re going to be staying with us… to help,” I took a deep breath, “Okay.” 

“Good. I’ll see you soon, oh and your mom wasn’t some pickles and peanut butter. She said to make sure that you get pickles and peanut butter,” She chuckled. “Oh… so you know?” “That’s she’s pregnant? Yeah, I knew before all of this,” She answered, “She told me like a week ago.”

“Seriously? I just found out before I got in the shower,” I said. “Really?” She chuckled. “Yeah,” I said enjoying us talking for a bit. It was helping a lot. I actually managed to get up, and walk into the closet realizing I still had my shower robe on. “I Connor told me that we are the Godparents,” I said shuffling through my side of the walk-in closet. “Are you up?” She asked.

“Yeah, but please stay on the phone with me,” I said in a pleading like tone. “Of course baby, and I know everything that Connor had told you,” She said. “Oh, couldn’t you have just pretended that you didn’t know?” I asked with a frown. “I’m sorry,” She apologized. 

“Don’t be sorry. It was supposed to be a joke, but didn’t come out as planned,” I sighed pulling a pair of jeans out along with a blue tank top and a darker blue plaid flannel. “I know. It’s going to be hard for you. You haven’t had this in a long time. It might last, but it’ll be okay. Okay?” She said trying to be reassuring. “That’s not helping too much. Knowing that it could last a while,” I frowned putting her on speaker. I set the phone down and started to get dressed.

“I know, baby. We just got to get you some help. Maybe therapy?” She suggested as I pulled on my panties and jeans under the robe. “No,” I frowned. “Honey, you don’t feel like going to therapy, but you don’t like feeling this way. What do you want me to do?” She asked sounding calm and understanding. “I don’t know. Maybe it’ll pass,” I suggested while putting on a bra. “Maybe, but it will come back again,” She said, “It will always come back.”

“You’re right, but you’re going to have to force me, Naomi.” “What about a bribe?” She asked. “You’re not in any shape for the kind of bribe I’ll take,” I managed out a chuckle as I pulled on a tank top. “Be that as it may, I will be one of these days,” She said suggestively. Then I heard her hiss a bit. “You okay?” I asked. “Yeah, the medicine wore off, and I’m waiting on the doctor to bring some more,” She said. 

“Oh, but you are okay?” I asked stopping right after I put on my flannel. “Lydia, we’re talking about you right now,” She said. “I know, but we need to be talking about you,” I frowned, “You just went through all of that, and you sound perfectly fine.” “Because I am fine. Kyle is dead, Nora is in prison, and Neither of them can hurt me anymore. And I was so drugged up that I can barely remember anything that happened. I know he raped me, and she kept beating me with a cattle prod, but that’s about it. Now please, can we not talk about it?” She explained.

“Yeah,” I took a deep breath, “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, baby,” She assured. But I broke down, the depression getting the best of me. I fell to the floor and started sobbing again. I grabbed the phone and put it against my ear as she continued talking to me. She must’ve known I was crying because she just started talking to me, and she was careful not to say anything that I would have to reply to. 

“Lydia, you are an amazing and wonderful woman. You know? Your mom was telling me all about what was going on here with you while I was… occupied. You are so brave, baby. You know that?” “Uh huh,” I cried. “I’m here for you no matter what, baby girl,” She assured, “I’d sing for you like I normally did if my throat wasn’t hurting so badly from all that vomiting I did yesterday.” “I’m sorry,” I sniffled.

“It’s okay, baby,” She assured. I crawled over to my shoes with one hand and both knees. My other hand holding the phone to my ear. Then I pulled on a pair of sandals, just for the fact that I didn’t want to wear sneakers. “I love you,” She said after a moment. “I love you,” I said softly.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I know this is the last thing you need right now, but if it makes you feel any better, I’m okay. I’m just sitting here waiting on you to come back up here, then we can cuddle. Okay?” She said. “Okay,” I sniffled a bit. “So hurry up,” She ordered playfully. “Okay,” I said again. “Are you ready to go to the store?” “Yeah,” I said putting on the other sandal.

“Alright. I’m going to hang up. Go to Connor, and he’ll drive you to the store,” She said. “Okay,” I said, “I love you.” “I love you, too,” She replied just before hanging up. I stood to my feet and walked out of the closet with Connor’s phone. Then I sat down on the bed for the moment. There was a slight knock on the door.

“Lydia? You okay?” Connor asked through the door. “You can open it,” I called through, and he opened the door. “What’s up?” He asked. “She want’s me to see a therapist,” I sighed. “What for? It was just an anxiety attack,” He asked sitting next to me.

“I have depression, Connor. I’ve always had it. You ought to have known this,” I looked at him confused. “I thought you were just upset,” He frowned. “For the whole time she was gone? Which was well over a year,” I asked. “Well no… but, either way. She’s right. If you have depression, then you at least need to see a doctor about some antidepressants,” He frowned.

“Nope, if my therapist prescribes them, then yeah… but I’m seeing a therapist for Naomi. That’s what she wants me to do,” I denied. “Well knowing that you need to go, or agreeing to go is a good place to start,” He said. “You think so?” “Yeah, you’re past having to admit that you have depression,” He said with his arm around my shoulders.

“I’m so happy to have her though, and thanks to you… I get to continue to have her,” I smiled looking at him. “Yeah, she’s truly a good woman. And she makes you happy, I’m glad you have her, too,” He smiled.


	14. I forgive you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia goes to therapy

“Hello, Mrs. Hamilton. How are you today?” The thin and beautiful woman asked as I entered her office. She had long brown hair, and dark eyes. And she wore a black pantsuit with a white shirt underneath the jacket. She was skinny, but full. Not that unhealthy skinny that everyone tries to be. She wore little to no jewelry. Only a simple chain necklace, diamond studs, and a wedding ring. She had on light makeup. Natural and pleasant colors that complemented her pleasant demeanor.

“I’m well, you?” I replied shaking her hand. “I’m fine. My name is Doctor Elizabeth Lewis,” She greeted. “Lydia Hamilton, thought I know you already knew that,” I sighed trying to keep up the smile. I really didn’t want to be here, but her overall demeanor makes me feel like this is going to be a pleasant visit.

“Well have a seat, and you can lie down if you like,” She said gesturing over to the couch. “Do you mind if I walk around for a bit?” I asked, “I pace a bit when I’m nervous. I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re going to let me, but I have to ask. My wife hates it because it freaks her out.” “Sure. Whatever makes you feel comfortable,” She replied with a sweet nod.

The room was very peaceful, and simply decorated. Some of her family pictures were hanging on the wall. A husband, and two little girls smiled back at me as I looked at them. “You know?” I turned and looked at her. “Hmm?” She asked looking up from her notes. Was she already taking notes? “You have a very beautiful family,” I complemented, “Makes me think of how much I want children.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hamilton,” She replied. “I have a feeling I’m going to be coming here a lot, so just call me Lydia if you like. Mrs. Hamilton was my mother… before she remarried,” I said.

“How did you feel about her remarriage?” She asked. I don’t know if she was working or trying to keep up a conversation to help me feel comfortable, either way… I played along hoping that maybe talking would help me calm down. “I was actually happy. None of this is because of my mother though,” I answered. “Are you sure?” She asked.

I walked over and sat down. “Yes I’m sure,” I answered almost sounding offended. “I didn’t mean any offense, Lydia,” She apologized. “My mother has nothing to do with this. I love her, and I love Connor like a father,” I answered. “So what do you think caused it?” She asked.

“If I had to trace the reason that butterfly affected it’s way to now… I would blame my grandmother. Mom’s mom,” I answered. “Butterfly affected?” She asked. “Yeah, you know… one little thing that causes all these other things. They say, if you go back in time and kill a butterfly, it could drastically change the future. I think my grandmother saw me as the butterfly,”

“Why do you think that?” She asked. “Because she tried to kill me,” I shrugged. “What?” She smiled not believing it. “You never- you never looked it up?” “I don’t research my patients like that. Only the medical history, Lydia, to see if something happened that caused physical trauma to your head,” She said. “So you saw the broken arm when I was…” I thought about it, counting the years, “Thirteen or fourteen?”

“I did, was that from your grandmother?” She asked. “Yeah, she pushed me down the stairs, then blamed my mother for the deed. My father was helpless in the fight to make my mother unfit to raise me. Then I was sent to foster care,” I explained. “Oh, I see. I’ve never met a woman who- who would do that to their grandchild to hurt their child. That’s truly evil,” She said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yeah, I know,” I agreed nodding a bit. “So then you were sent to foster care, what happened there?” “I was in and out of homes for a year. The last one I was in- um- the Torres’s. They were the worst, and I was with them for four years. Connor knocking on the door looking for me was a miracle,” I said. “Connor? Is the same Connor that married your mother?” She asked.

“Yeah, Connor works for the FBI. He helped his sister, Jamie, pick me up because she couldn’t find them, and they weren’t supposed to go off grid like they did. Jamie worked for CPS,” I explained. “So why do you think they went off grid like they did?” “There’s no thinking… only knowing, Dr. Lewis,” I said.

“Okay, so why did they?” She asked. “Because they were druggies. They dealt and used drugs of all kinds, and Landon… he- he- liked me a _lot_ ,” I answered. “Did he hurt you?” She asked. “What?” I looked at her. “Did Landon Torres sexually abuse you?” She repeated the question clearly. “Oh. Y-yeah,” I frowned looking down at my hands, “A lot of the men in foster homes did. I know that not all of them were bad, but it was like they kept putting me in from bad to worse.” 

“Do you think that is the cause?” She asked. “I think Landon did. See Landon is a psychopathic lunatic who got off by causing other people pain. Had I the chance and ability to kill him for what he’s done to me… I probably would’ve. I know you don’t want to hear that talk, so I won’t say it again,” I said. “It’ll be our secret,” She assured. “Thank you,” I smiled a bit. “So if Landon wasn’t the only one who _hurt_ you. What did he do to you to be considered worse than the other men?” She asked. 

“He called me names. Made me feel worthless. Called me fat and lazy, and said that the only thing I was going to be good for, was what he used me for. He got off by it. He liked making me feel worthless because I know that he knew that I wouldn’t tell anyone about what he did to me,” I explained. “Really? Why did he think that?” She asked while writing down notes. “Because he was right. I didn’t tell anyone,” I answered.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” “Because I felt worthless and stupid. Who would want to help a worthless kid like me? I questioned why CPS even believe me before. I wondered if they were getting tired of me telling on the men in the homes,” I answered. “What else did he do to you?” She asked. “Bad things,” I answered, “He- He\- this is all confidential, yes?” I asked. “Absolutely,” She answered. 

“You can tell me. I only write down small notes, so I can remember. I see more than one patient, and this helps me keep organized. These notes never leave this room. Okay?” “Okay,” I said taking deep breaths to reassure myself. “What did Landon do to you?” She asked.

“He- He treated me like a sex slave. He would lock me in the room they gave me for days at a time with very little water and even less food. He would- he would go in the room with some sort of weapon. Whether it was a whip or even a knife, and he would force me to sit on a chair backwards without a shirt on, while he whipped me or carved into his back. He’d once car-carved his initials, but- but when they healed, they- they luckily disappeared into the other scars. You know?” I explained choking over my words a bit, “He would leave me there, bleeding for days at a time. He forced us to move and go off grid. No phones… no electronics at all, and I never even went back to school. I never got my diploma.” 

“Have you ever thought about going back and finishing?” She asked, and I broke down and was crying as I spoke, “You know? When you’ve missed so much school, CPS was supposed to find you. They were supposed to check up on you and immediately take you away if something like this was happening. But they didn’t find me. They didn’t take me away from Landon. His wife… she- she let it happen. And his 22 year old son would even join in! I was a child! I was 15!” 

Tears poured from my eyes now as I continued not answering her recent question. “He- they would  t ag team me. And  they would do other things… terrible things that I don’t want to ever say aloud,” I continued. “You don’t have you, Lydia,” She answered, “I’m not going to make you tell me.” “I- I need to,” I sighed. “No you don’t. You don’t have to tell me,” She assured, “You don’t need to. But you do need to come to terms with it.” 

“See I think that’s the problem,” I said looking up at her. “Because you can’t?” “No! Well… yeah. Because I thought I already had,” I answered, “See… I would ignore what happened for days at a time. Sometimes I was blessed with not ever thinking about it. For five years, I was happy.

“So- so very happy. I had the perfect job that I started here in town. I had the perfect house, which was the one I grew up in before foster care. I had the perfect car, a beetle that Connor’s parents bought me as a birthday present. And I have an amazing wife! I love Naomi more than anything in this world! I was happy!”

“What changed that?” She asked. “A couple months ago, Naomi was kidnapped by a, literally, crazy ex-girlfriend of mine. Her and her boyfriend had taken, beaten, and raped her. Nora shocked her with a cattle rod. And they would just drug her and leave her in her on vomit!” I explained. “Nora? You’re ex-girlfriend? Before Naomi?” She asked.

“Yes. Nora was the only other girlfriend I’ve ever had. She was my first. Honestly, if it weren’t for Nora, I would’ve never come to terms with my sexuality. Not that I commend her for it. She’s exactly where she deserves to be,” I explained, “But I met Nora, before I was found by Connor and Jamie.” “Really?” She smiled. “Yeah, coincidentally, she moved here before I did. She’d always cheated on me, but at least she’d pretended to care about me.” “And in that time… that’s all that you needed. Yes?” “Exactly,” I said. 

“Okay, continue,” She said. “Well, I think that the torture and rape that they’d put my Naomi through had brought this up for me. After I knew she was okay… I hit my mental break down. Her and I both were laid up in our bed… but for completely different reasons. And yeah, I helped her where she needed it! She’s got a broken leg and forearm, so she couldn’t move much,” I said with a frown, “I feel like it’s affected me _more_ than it has her.” 

“That’s to be expected,” She said. “How?” I asked. “Well… think about it this way, Lydia. Nora was your ex-girlfriend with mental instability. But she was your ex, and she kidnapped and tortured your wife. She hurt her in similar ways to they way _you_ were hurt. I can see how it’s affected you so much. You feel like it was your fault,” She explained. 

“I guess I do,” I lowered my head, “It was.” “I highly doubt it was your fault. Lydia, you’re not responsible for what Nora and- and-,” “Kyle Sanchez,” “That’s who raped her?” She asked. “Yeah,” “Well… Lydia, you’re not responsible for what they did to Naomi. But you are the reason Naomi is alive,” She finished. “How?” “Because, she believed that you would come for her. She knows you love her, and she loves you,” She said. “How do you know that?” “I had a long talk with her when she scheduled the appointment,” She explained.

“Oh. You did?” I chuckled, “She’s sweet. Isn’t she?” “Very. She cares about you a lot. And only wants to make and see you happy. There is a reason that Naomi isn’t as affected to what happened to her as you are, Lydia.”

“What is that reason?” “You,” She said, “Naomi said she didn’t really know why she hasn’t been affected they way _anyone_ would’ve expected. She thought that maybe it was because she couldn’t remember what happened.” 

“That’s what she told me,” I explained. “And it could be part of the reason. But Naomi also knows that she has to be strong… for _you_ ,” She said. “What?” I asked looking at her. “She knows you’re strong, Lydia. But she also knows that you’re hurting just as much as she is. She can get through what they did, because she knows that she’s not alone.” 

“But she doesn’t know what they did to me,” I frowned. “She knows something. She knows that whatever they did… it left scars. Mentally and physically,” She explained. “Oh! I remember she asked me about them before we got married,” I sighed, and she frowned, “She doesn’t know what Landon and his son did to you?” I shook my head. 

“I would prefer she didn’t either,” I said with tears rolling down my cheeks. “Do you think that you could tell her?” She asked. “No,” I shook my head violently. “Okay. Okay. You don’t have to, but I would prefer it if you tried. She _is_ your wife, Lydia. The number one person you can trust,” She said. I sighed, “See… I- I have tried. But when I did, I panicked, and told her that it was over, and I was over it. I know that she knows I’m not, but I still failed to tell her.” 

“Panicking makes everything worse,” She frowned, and I sighed nodding to agree with her. “Okay, so how about we talking about something to lighten the mood a bit. Don’t you want to talk about something good for the moment? Something that makes you happy?” She suggested. “I think I’d like to. Do you have anything to drink? Water? Pop?” “I have water in the mini-fridge over there,” She said pointing to the fridge, “Would you like me to get it?”

“Nah, I got it,” I said walking over. “So this something good?” She asked. “Naomi,” I shrugged. “Why don’t you tell me how you met?” She said as I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, and opened it. “I’m not sure it would be a typical meeting,” I said looking out the window by the fridge. I watched as the fall breeze pushed the trees and bushes around. Cars drove up and down the road, and the leaves were falling. 

“Tell me,” She said. “Well, it was summer. July 14th. Mom and Connor’s anniversary was the 16th, and mom needed a new dress. After an entire day of shopping. I didn’t really want to be there, me being depressed an all. But it was nice to get out of the house and spend some time with her. I was just getting over my breakup with Nora which was on the 4th. I made her try on this dress she didn’t really like, so we were in the dressing room of one of the stores in the mall,” I said, a small smiled inching on my face. 

“So she was in the dressing rooms?” She asked. “Yep. In a little red dress,” I smiled. “Ah! You named the store after that moment? Didn’t you?” She asked. “Yeah. Who knew that one little moment could change everything for me. From then on, Naomi was everything I needed. We dated for three months, before-,” My smile faded. “Before what?” She asked. “Before, her parents found out about us. They have this weird thing called intolerance,” I hated them ever since they forced her to move away.

“They forced her to go where?” “California. To live with her grandmother,” I answered. “Oh.” “But the funny thing I didn’t expect… she came back,” “You didn’t expect her to come back?” “No… all the good ones always left. You’ve noticed that right. The crazy ones are the ones that come back to me,” 

“Well now that you’ve mentioned that,” She said. “I have talked with Connor a bit about what happened with Naomi, Nora, Kyle, and you. Do you mind?”

“Go ahead,” I frowned still looking out the window. “Do you remember Landon’s son’s name?” She asked. “Not really. I- I tried to forget it. Why?” “Kyle Sanchez isn’t really Kyle Sanchez,” She said. “Connor had kept it from you during the fiasco with Naomi, because he knew that you were stressed enough,” She said. 

“Oh, so who is he?” I asked not really wanting to put the pieces together. “His real name was Kyle Torres. He was Landon’s only son,” She informed. “I never thought how familiar he looked. It truly makes me wonder how well he knew Nora. If they’d known each other all these years. If they’d planned to hurt me the moment they met. She did say that they were going to go for me, but he decided last minute to go for Naomi,” I said contemplating this information.

“It says here that they were married long before you were in his home for foster care. Nora wasn’t even the age she said she was. Any sexual relations that she had with you or anyone your age is considered rape,” She said. I let out an exasperated sigh, “Well… that would depend, because any sex I had with her… I wanted… at the time, and I regret it now. Kyle on the other hand… it was forced.”

“I understand that, however… you didn’t know how old she was,” She said. “That’s true. It doesn’t matter anymore. I just want it all to be over with,” I sighed. “It is over with,” “Then why are we talking about it. I just- I just want to go home now,” I said. “Alright. The session’s almost over… how about some antidepressants?” 

“Do you think that I need them?” I asked turning and looking at her, “Can’t I get better without them?” “I think that you’re strong enough to be able to, yes. But they will make things a lot easier. Depression is a disease in your mind. They’ll help balance you out, and I think that you should take them,” She said pulling out a prescription pad. 

She wrote something down and signed the bottom of it and handed it to me. “ This one I personally recommend . Here you go, and I’ll see you next week. Or sooner if you feel like coming sooner.  Remember, you can come to me or call me at any time. Okay? ” 

“I- Thank you,” I gave her a polite smile and left the room. I slowly made my way down the hallway trying to figure out what actually happened. I just told a random person that I barely knew something that I haven’t even told Naomi… my wife. 

I sighed, turned around and walked back into the room. “Yes, Lydia? Was there something else?” She asked. “Is that how this works?” I asked. “How what works?” She looked up at me confused. “We just talk to each other. I tell you things that I don’t tell anyone in my family? Not even my wife?” I asked.

“Well Lydia, this is the first visit, and you opened up more than any of my previous patients. However, yes. I offer you some guidance, and help you through problems in your life that Naomi might not be able to help you through.

“Naomi knows that you held back when you didn’t tell her about what happened, and she knows that you lied to her… she’s not mad, but she knows that whatever it is… she can’t help you this time because she doesn’t know what it is. But those antidepressants I want you taking. They will help you, too,” She explained.

“Okay,” I nodded, and turned to leave the room. “And Lydia,” She said. I stopped with my hand on the knob and turned to her, “You can’t blame yourself for anything that’s happened to you or her. What happened was beyond your control. You couldn’t have stopped it.”

Her words somehow hit me more than even when mom said it. I wasn’t sure if maybe it was because I have an opinion outside my family, or if she said something else and I was just hearing Naomi’s words again. She didn’t judge me for what I’ve been through.

“I want you to focus on what makes you happy, Lydia. Naomi, your shop, your family… that’s what’s going to help you through life. So if I don’t see you before you’re appointment next week, then I bet you’ll see some kind of improvement with that, and the medicine,” She added. “Okay,” I nodded. 

“Do you have any more questions?” She asked. “What about my anxiety?” I asked. “Your anxiety is linked to your depression, so as your depression starts to get better, so will your anxiety,” She answered. “Okay… I guess- I guess that’s it for now,” I said. “Good,” She smiled.

“I’ll see you next week,” She said, “And you have my number in case you need me when I’m not in my office. You can call me anytime you need to,” “Okay. And Dr. Lewis?” “Yes, Lydia?” “Thank you,” I smiled. This time it was a lot more real than before. 

“For what?” She asked trying to sound confused even though she seemed to have an idea. “For listening to me. It does feel good to get this off my chest,” I said. “I can tell that you’ve been holding that in for a long time, Lydia. It’s time that you let go of that burden,” She said. I sat down on the couch, and she chuckled. “How do I do that?” I asked, “Please tell me that you know how I can do that!” 

“I do. But you might not understand it,” She said. “What? What is it?” I asked. “Forgive them,” She said. “Forgive them?” I looked at her confused. How can I possibly forgive any of them for what they did to me.

“Forgive Landon, Kyle, Nora… Not for them, and you don’t even have to tell them. Just know that in your heart… you forgive them. When they hurt you and the people that you love, they took power over you mentally, emotionally, and physically. The longer you live hurting… the longer they have that power,” “How does forgiving them help me?” I asked. I’m desperate to the point to where I’d try anything to help me.

“Lydia, when you forgive them… you’re taking whatever power they have over you, and flipping it. You’re breaking away from the chains they’d latched onto you holding you down,” She reached across the space and placed her hand over mine. I didn’t get anything but somewhat of a friendly or motherly care from the touch, and it kind of felt different than anything. Maybe because she knew and understood.

“You have to forgive them, to free yourself from this emotional and mental pain they have forced onto you. Do you think that you could do that?” She explained deeper. I nodded a bit after taking a deep breath. “Can you help me?” I asked. “Of course sweetie. That’s what I’m here to do,” She assured leaning back, “We’ll work on it. I don’t expect you to be able to do it today. You’re first visit. Then again, I didn’t expect you to be so open on the first visit.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked. Depression isn’t an illness that can be healed in a day, Lydia,” She said, “It could take anywhere from months to years. Some people fight it until the day they die. But you are making great progress. I don’t think you’ll be fighting it that long. You are safe and happily married with a job you love. We will work on it. Okay?” “Okay,” I said, “Could I- Could I try?”

“Try what?” “To forgive them?” “Honey, I want you to. You don’t have to be in here to do that, but we can start. I want you to say it as though they were in this room with you,” “Okay,” I took a deep breath. Thoughts of what they did to me circled my mind. The pain they caused me surfaced again. I fought through it.

“Keep your focus on what you’re trying to do. Think about Naomi, your job, things that make you happy. You’re no longer alone, Lydia,” She said, and I did that. I replaced the many nights that I sat locked in my room alone with the many nights I was with Naomi. Her laugh and smile, they way it helped me through my pain. Her voice in my mind, and they way she made me feel when I was around her. 

I replaced those times that I was in pain, with the times that I was happy. The knife cuts replaced with the small accidental pricks that I’d get from my needles at the shop when I was making or fitting a dress. I replaced in my mind the bad emotions and images and memories with the good ones. 

I took a deep breath, and imagined the three of them standing there next to her. Landon, his dark hair and pale skin. Nora, her orange hair and fair skin. Kyle, his dark hair and tanned skin.

They looked at me with devilish looks on their faces. Their smiles of pride from the pain that they caused me. Their overbearing looks made it difficult. I wanted so badly to send them away. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. “Lydia, you can do it,” I heard Dr. Lewis say. Her voice nearly echoing.

I took another deep breath and squared up a bit. Their smiles turning into frowns. “I- I forgive you,” I said almost quickly. Their images disappeared from the room after I got the words out, taking a lot of weight with them.

“Wow,” Dr. Lewis said writing in her notebook. “What?” I looked up at her after catching my breath for a minute. “I’ve never met anyone as strong as you, Lydia,” She said. “I have a very strong reason,” I said thinking about Naomi. “She’s lucky to have you,” She said. “I’m lucky to have her,” I smiled.

“Okay, I think that that is enough for today, sweetie. Go home, get some rest, and I really do hope that you get to feeling better,” She said. “Thank you,” I said getting up. I walked over and hugged her. “You’re welcome, Lydia,” She chuckled, “You’re so very welcome.”


	15. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Her mom go to the pharmacy

“Hey,” Mama smiled as I walked into the main lobby of the building that Dr. Lewis worked, “How did it go?” “It went- it went well,” I said handing her the prescription paper. “Ah, she got you on some antidepressants?” She said reading it. “Yeah,” I sighed, “She said that they would help.”

“Okay, well go by the pharmacy and get them,” She said walking me out the door. I was a little lost in my thoughts as she held my hand and walked me out to the car. I thought about what happened in there, and the release that I felt at the end. No… not release… freedom. I felt like the thumb they held down on me was gone, but I knew that there was still things to figure out.

“Lydia?” Mom said snapping her fingers in front of me. I shook away my thoughts and looked at her confused, “What?” “Don’t you ‘what’ me! I was talking to you for like two minutes before I realized you weren’t listening,” She laughed. “I’m sorry,” I frowned. “Don’t be sorry. Are you okay?” She asked. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just- I have a lot to think about right now,” I answered.

“She give you quite a bit to do?” She asked. “No, just quite a bit to think about,” I replied. “Like what?” She cautiously asked. “I think I need to figure this one out on my own,” I sighed. “Alright,” She nodded. “I can say that I do feel a lot better, but at the same time I fell really bad,” I said looking at her. “Why do you feel bad?” She asked.

“I was able to tell Dr. Lewis things that I couldn’t tell Naomi. Although Dr. Lewis said that Naomi expected that, I still feel bad that I couldn’t tell her. She’s my wife!” I explained my troubles. “Lydia,” She sighed, “Naomi knows there more to your ‘it’s over with’ story than you let on. She knows there there are some things that you didn’t want to tell her. But if- I think you should just hear it from her,” She said opening her car door and getting in. I did the same to the passenger side.

She started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, “I think you just need to hear Naomi’s thoughts… from Naomi.” “Mama, do you know about Kyle? And his relation to- to-,” “The foster family you were with?” She asked. “Yeah,” I answered realizing that was her answer. “What did they do to you, baby girl?” She asked. “I- I need to at least tell Naomi first. To clear my conscience,” I denied her the answer.

“Okay. I can understand that,” She said driving down the road. The town was small so it wasn’t long before she was pulling into the pharmacy. We got out of the car and walked into the store. Then walked to the prescription counter. I handed the lady my prescription paper. “Do you know how long it’s going to be?” I asked her.

“Um… around twenty to thirty minutes,” She said. “Thank you, we’ll just look around for a bit and wait,” I said as mom had already wandered off into one of the isles. “Mom!” I called walking down the isle.

When I found her, she’d already had an opened bag of chips and an opened pop. “Mom!” I whisper-yelled, “You’re not supposed to do that!” “I’m pregnant, I’d like to see them fight me,” She replied eating a chip out of the bag. I rolled my eyes.

“Ooh look!” She said pointing at the toy isle. There was a giant dark brown teddy bear with a pink bow around his neck. “Oh lord have mercy,” I groaned watching as she pet it, “It’s like walking around with a child.”

“Now you know how I felt walking into a store with you,” She said feeling the bear’s soft fur. I rolled my eyes, “Mom… do you want the bear?” “Yes I want the bear! It’s so soft and plushy and beautiful and- and-,” Then she started crying, and I sighed. “Mom, there’s no need to cry over the bear. “You try being pregnant!” She yelled at me.

“I want to, but- seriously? I’ll get you the bear, if you stop crying. Please,” I said, not really in the mood for this. “Yay!” She smiled trying to pick it up with her bag of chips and pop. I face palmed, “Hold on. I’ll get a cart.” “Okay,” She smiled. I walked away shaking my head as I went to the front door where they keep them.

I grabbed a cart and pushed it back to the isle with the giant teddy bears and put it in the car with her. Then I grabbed another one that had a blue bowtie and stuck it on top. “Who’s the other one for?” She asked. “Mom, you know who the other one is for,” I said. “Ooh, Naomi would love it!” She said, “Why blue?” “Blue’s her favorite color. She said she likes blue because of my eyes,” I said.

“Awe, you’re eyes are a very pretty blue,” Mom said agreeing with Naomi as I rolled the cart down the isle. “Don’t they have jewelry here?” Mom asked, “You’re wedding anniversary is coming up.”

“I’m not getting her any jewelry from this place. If I get Naomi jewelry, it will be good shit from the expensive store,” I said. “Awe the best for the best. That’s what Connor tells me,” She smiled. “But that’s not stopping me from getting her any candy. Let’s see what they got,” “Maybe peanut butter,” “Mom, peanut butter itself isn’t candy,” I sighed. “I know, but we’re out of peanut butter,” She said, and I looked at her with a frown. Her belly popping out a bit.

“You ate that big ass jar of peanut butter?” I gave her a shocked look. “Yeah,” She frowned, “Its a very hungry baby.” “I can tell,” I agreed. “I’ll get it when we go down that isle,” She said knowing that I’d get it for her, I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out. “Do we need anything else?” I asked.

“Um… Sardines?” She asked. “Ew! Mom, I will die before you open a can of sardines in my house,” I said. “Ew! Lydia, I ate all kinds of weird shit when I was pregnant with you!” She argued, “Please?!” “Do they even see sardines anymore?” “Yes! Connor found some here,” She answered. “Fine, we’ll get them too,” I said. “Good,” She smiled.

I grabbed some of Naomi’s favorite candy and tossed it in the cart. Mom grabbed some with peanut butter in them, and we went down the food isle and grabbed some peanut butter. “Do you need pickles?” I asked. “Oh, no. I’m good on those,” She answered. “The one thing in this store you don’t need,” I joked. “Well… I don’t need lube at the moment either,” She said looking at the stuff in the isle.

“Mom! I could’ve gone my whole life without knowing that!” I rose my voice. “What? Everyone uses it!” She said, “Sometimes Connor uses it to massage my back. It’s like the only thing that works.” “Please tell me that’s what you meant,” I begged.

“What do you and Naomi use?” She asked. “What?” “Do you use lube?” She asked slowly and loudly to make sure I heard her. “Mom! Keep your voice down,” I groaned. “Do you?!” She asked. “No!” I whisper yelled, “We only do some nights. Other nights we don’t. You happy?”

“I’ll be happy once you get laid. You’re getting really uptight,” She said walking ahead of me. “Mom,” I sighed as she grabbed a few cans of the sardines and threw them in the can. “Mom, I’m just really not in the mood to be discussing this matter in a public place. You do remember where I just came from… yes?” I tried explaining.

She thought about if for a moment, then got a sad face, “I’m sorry baby. I- I have no filter right now.” “It’s fine. Just please, can we not yell out what we do in our sex life?” I asked. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” She frowned biting her lip. “Thank you,” I said grabbing a few extra cans of sardines for her and tossing them in. She smiled when she saw me do it.

“Thank you, baby,” She said. “You’re welcome,” I smiled. “So, do you mind any if the shower is at our house?” She asked. “I would highly suggest it. Naomi’s getting around better, but Connor will have to help me get her back up the stairs and get her to and from your house,” I said. “No he won’t. She’ll have the casts off before we have the shower,” She said, “We planned it that way.”

“Thank you,” I said almost tearing up, “I know it’s hard for you and Connor to not be at home. I’m so sorry for that,” I said still going down the isles. “Baby, you know it’s fine. Connor and I don’t mind. Especially since he’s the only one strong enough to get her up and down the stairs.”

“She feels so helpless,” I frowned, “I hate seeing her that way.” “She’ll feel a lot better when she doesn’t have that cast on,” She assured. I went down another toy isle and saw those adult coloring books that Naomi saw on TV. “Hey she wants one of those,” I said looking at them. “Want me to pick one?” Mom asked looking at them too.

“Nah, she liked the butterfly one they showed, so I’ll get her that one,” I said picking it up. Mom picked one out for herself, and we walked down to where the coloring stuff was. “I think we should get gel pens,” She said, “I love gel pens.” “Here,” I said grabbing two packs of them. “Yay!” “Mom,” “Yeah?” She looked at me, “I feel like I’m shopping for a child.”

“You did say you wanted one,” She chuckled. “Yeah, that didn’t mean act like one,” I replied. “Awe, you wanted a child. If you can’t handle ‘I want’s’ in a store… you aren’t ready,” “I haven’t gotten my prescriptions yet. I’m just a teeny weeny annoyed,” I chuckled. “I’m sorry, I know you’re having a tough time, sweetie. I’ll try, it’s these damn hormones,” She said.

“That’s why I’m trying not to get too frustrated,” I said. “Wait… do you really want a kid?” She asked. “Yeah, I’ve thought about a family. I was going to talk to Naomi about it wants she’s better. Right now she’s a little restless. I’m not going to bring up kids right now,” I said grabbing a pack of office pens for the shop. Then I grabbed a pack of tags with strings to put on the clothes I made to sell.

“I understand. I think you and Naomi would make great parents, but I also believe that you should think about it before you adopt or do that other thing,” She said. “What other thing?” I asked. “You know, that thing where they inject someone’s semen into your uterus,” She said making the hand motions. While holding her chips and drink close to her chest. I laughed, “Artificial insemination?” “Yeah that! See I don’t have to know what it is, because there’s a penis in my relationship.”

“There’s a penis in my relationship,” I mocked sarcastically. “Lydia!” She laughed, “You know I cherish yours and Naomi’s relationship. I’m just saying. What do you think? If you were going to go that direction, who’s going to do it?” “Probably Naomi. I’d like to have a couple little Naomi’s running around,” I smiled, and she laughed. “Cute,” “I know, right?” I chuckled.

“Lydia Hamilton, you’re prescription is ready. Lydia Hamilton,” The lady’s voice called on the intercom. “Alright, time to go,” I said. “Awe I wasn’t done asking for stuff,” She whined a bit. “You’re my mother. What happened to me asking you for stuff?” “Well… you’re the one with the money,” She smiled. “Then there’s that,” I sighed walking up to the prescription counter.

“Here you go ma’am,” The lady said handing me the bag after I paid for it. “Thank you,” I smiled politely and shoved it in my purse. We walked up to the front of the store to pay for everything else. Then we carried everything out to the car, loaded it up, and drove home.

\--------------------

“What took you so long?” Connor asked as we got out of the car in the driveway. “Ask mom,” I said opening the back door. “Lord have mercy,” He chuckled seeing the giant ass teddy bears in the back seat. “Well the pink bow is mom’s. The blue one is Naomi’s,” I said. “I’ll get all your mother’s stuff,” He said. “Okay. She’ll take the teddy bear herself being that she cried for it,” I said as she opened the other door and grabbed it, and he laughed. I handed him the bags containing her stuff, and grabbed the rest.

“You got her a coloring book?” He asked with a smile. “Shh… it’ll keep her occupied while we make dinner,” I whispered as though we were literally talking about a child. “Okay,” He whispered back, and we laughed. I grabbed Naomi’s bear and carried it in while Connor got the door for me.

I carefully made it up the stairs with the bear and the bags and Set it down to open the bedroom door. “There you are,” Naomi smiled as she saw me come through with the bags. “Yeah, we stopped to get my prescription at the Pharmacy. Then mom decided, I wanted this and that…” I said setting the bags down on the bed, “I got you one of those books you wanted.” I pulled it out of the bag.

“Awesome!” She smiled taking it from me and looking through the pages. I set the pack of gel pens in her lap, “Thank you Lyd.” “If I’m being totally honest,” I said handing her the candy, “That’s not all of it.” “What?” She asked looking back up at me as I walked for the door again. “I got you… a little wedding anniversary gift!” I said picking up the bear and walking it in.

“Oh my god!” She lit up with a huge smile. “I knew you’d like it,” I smiled setting it on the floor next to her. Let’s face it… that thing isn’t going to fit in the bed while I’m here, “A little happy friend for you, for when I’m on my downer days… eh?”

“Lyd, you didn’t have to-,” “I did. Mom threw a fit in the store for one, and I wasn’t going to get her one, and not you. But I will get you a proper anniversary gift… on our anniversary,” I smiled, sitting next to her on the bed. I looked at the book in her lap, “Probably should’ve gotten me one of those.” “I’ll give you whatever page you want,” She smiled.

“It’s fine. I got that one for you,” I said kissing her cheek. “So how’d it go?” “The shopping? Well besides mom acting like a child the whole time and made me scream out that we don’t use lube across the store, everything went well,” I replied. “Wait what?” She did a double take and looked at me with a smile. “Oh! You mean with Dr. Lewis!” I chuckled.

“Yeah,” She replied a little lost, “Wait? You basically told the entire store that we don’t use lube?” “On most days,” I added. “Wow…” “Uh! It was her fault!” I said pointing to the door. “Whatever. So how was therapy?” “It was great actually, but can I confess something?” I asked. “Sure,” She smiled. “I feel really bad that I could tell her all of that, but I couldn’t you,” I frowned.

“Baby,” She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me to her, “I knew you were going to feel that way.” “I figured you would. Mom and Dr. Lewis said you know I would,” I pointed out.

“Lyd, there are some things that I can’t help you with, and I know that. Dr. Lewis can help you in a different way. She’ll have the capacity to push you without you retaliating. I’m here for when you do want to tell me, but do _not_ feel bad for not telling me. Okay?” She said reassuringly. “Okay,” I nodded. “Good,” She smiled. 

“I think I’m going to watch you color,” I said helping her open the gel pens. “Okay, wait… you said prescription?” She asked. “Yeah, I got it here,” I said pulling it out of the purse I left on the nightstand, “She’s putting me on some antidepressants.” 

“Okay, you have to make sure that once you start taking them… you don’t stop. I used to have a friend who’d do that. I didn’t end really well,” She warned. “Don’t say that,” I said pulling the bag out. She took it from me and looked at it. “Oh, you’re using a different one. Once a day, every day. We live and work together, I’ll make sure you don’t forget,” She said opening the bag and pulling it out.

“I really hope this works,” I said as she handed me the right dosage. I took it with the drink that I’d bought earlier. Then laid down, resting my head on her shoulder. She Put the bottle up and started coloring in her book. “You okay?” She asked. “Yeah, I just had a long day. The session was ten minutes over, and that was a bit… emotional,” I sighed. “Take a nap. Connor’s got an idea for dinner, and I’m sure your mom’s occupied,” She said.

“Okay. And Ni-Ni?” I lifted my head and looked at her. “Yeah?” She looked back at me. “I love you,” I smiled. The most real smile I could get out today. “I love you too,” She chuckled kissing me.

“I’m going to get in something more comfortable,” I said getting back up. A wave of anxiety hit me, and I sat back down holding my head for a second. “Honey?” She stopped and looked up at me. I could feel her hand touching my back. Then I heard the pills rattle for a second then the bottle tapped against her table. 

“Okay, I think that it was the antidepressant. It says that it can do that. You’ll be alright,” She said reassuringly, “Come here sweetie.” I took deep breaths and tried to move, but my head was too dizzy. “I- I can’t,” I managed. “It’s okay,” She assured. 

I felt her grab my shirt and pull me down. The movement scaring me a bit. I managed to lay over, and she did her best to pull me close to her… even though her arm was in a cast. I rested my head on her shoulder as she held me tightly. “I’m right here, okay. It’s okay,” She cooed a bit, “Deep breaths. Just close your eyes and listen to my voice.”

She started humming a bit. Something soft and soothing. “Talk to me,” She said, then started humming again. I closed my eyes and let her hum softly in my ear. “I- I can’t help but think of how wonderful a mother you’d be,” I managed, doing as she asked.

“Really?” Her voice sounded more curious than anything. “Yeah, can you imagine me as a mother? I’m so mentally unstable, but you… you’d make a wonderful mother. You’re so caring and sweet. You deserve a family. You deserve to be happy. I guess I’m not doing that very well, am I?”

“You’re doing everything you can, Lydia. I love you so much, and I don’t care if we have a baby. I’d be happy if it were just me and you for the rest of our lives. And you’d make a wonderful mother too, and Lydia?” She said. I opened my eyes a second and looked at her. “Hmm?” “You deserve to be happy, too,” She assured. 

“I love you so much, Ni-Ni. What did I ever do to deserve such a beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and perfect wife?” I asked. “You were yourself, and that’s more than anyone can ask for,” She replied softly. She kept her voice soft to keep me calm for the moment. “Do you want kids?” I asked. “Maybe… one day,” She smiled, “Baby steps though, Lydia. We both need to get better before we think about any steps towards children.” 

“Okay,” I smiled looking up at her, “I think I’m feeling a bit better.” “Just take off your jeans and shirt. Sleep that way,” She said. “Okay,” I sighed slipping off my jeans with a bit of struggle. I threw them off to the side and pulled off my shirts. I put the flannel back on and buttoned it up. I usually slept in my flannels because they were so comfortable.

“Isn’t that the one I bought you?” She asked. “Yeah, you bought me all of them,” I smiled laying back on her shoulder. I watched her color in her coloring book now that the moment had changed. I sighed happily as I closed my eyes a moment. “You okay?” She asked. 

“Yeah, actually. I am,” I smiled, “I think I am… at ease right now.” “Good,” She smiled as I thought about that. I am happy. I haven’t been this happy since they found her, and she looked at me in the ambulance. I want to stay this happy. For her sake.


	16. Baby Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madeline's Baby Shower

“Hey mama,” I greeted with a smile as she opened the door. Her belly very prominent. She was only six months pregnant. “Hey sweetie. Where’s Naomi?” She asked opening wider for me to walk in. “She’s at the shop right now,” I answered walking through. The living room was set up for the baby shower. It looked like the pastel fairy came and threw up everywhere.

“She couldn’t make it?” She asked. “She’ll be here in a minute. She just left the shop,” I replied, “She’s been all over the place since the doctor took the casts off. The only time I’ve seen her still is when she was asleep in the bed. She hasn’t even gotten around the fun she promised me.” I explained and she chuckled. “She spent a long time in that bed, Lydia. Just give her a bit. She’ll calm down,” She assured.

“I know. I know. I just wish she’d slow down a bit,” I smiled, sitting on the couch. “I’ll get you a gift once you tell me the gender,” I said. “You don’t have to get me a gift, Lyd. I know things are tough right now. With your depression and Naomi running around ninety to nothing,” She said sitting down next to me. “Bull- I- I’m getting you a gift. But I- I wanted to make it. For the baby. I already have a plan!”

“You do?” She looked at me curiously. “Yeah. Every year, I’m going to make my baby brother or sister an outfit. Whether it be a dress or sweater. And it will be his or her birthday gift. I’m going to make it a tradition,” I said with a smile. “Really? So I already know what you’re getting your new sibling every year until the day you die?” She chuckled.

“Yep. It’ll always be the number one thing you can count on. Even if you run out of money, just know that your baby will always have something to wear,” I said joking on that last sentence, and she laughed. “You’re a sweetheart you know that?” She smiled. “I know, and I’m getting really better. Ask Naomi. I’ve been seeing Dr. Lewis every week, and taking my antidepressants, and everything is going very well,” I assured.

“Have you told Dr. Lewis about what Naomi told me you were wanting?” She asked. “What?” I gave her a confused look, then I realized what she was talking about. “Oh that! I have. She- um- she says that if we’re ready, then I should go for it. But Naomi and I haven’t talked about how we wanted that to happen,” I answered.

“So you’re not sure?” She asked. There was a knock on the door, and I jumped up and walked over to the door and opened it. Naomi was there, and I beamed at her when I saw her. “Hey Baby,” She smiled, as I moved to let her in. “How was the shop?” I asked trying to kiss her cheek and hug her. “Good,” She said, and she quickly walked over and sat next to mom. Blowing my normal greeting off.

“Hi, Mrs. Richardson,” She greeted hugging her, it was like she didn’t want to have the conversation. I gave her a confused look and sat down. Mom gave me the same look over Naomi’s shoulder as the two hugged. “Did you fight?” She mouthed, and I shook my head.

Thoughts circled my head a bit. Why did she just blow me off like that? She ignored my attempt at a kiss on her cheek, and completely rushed through a small conversation. Why? What did I do? I don’t remember an argument. Was there an argument? I tried to think back over the week, month… even year, and I don’t remember an argument that would upset her like this.

It had to have been something I did. What did I do? I thought about the things I did that would upset her, but found nothing. I mean, I don’t… I don’t know what’s going on. She didn’t seem like this yesterday. Or last night. But then again… I’ve barely seen her since she got the cast off. She was always at the shop or running around town with errands.

I didn’t pay too much attention because I understood, but she was going to fast for me to follow her around. Mom saw my confused expression turn even darker as more insecure thoughts began to cloud my mind after that. “Lydia, would you mind getting my drink from the kitchen?” Mom asked as she pulled away from me.

“Sure,” I said a little too quickly and paced off into the kitchen. “What was that about?” I heard Naomi ask. What was that about? What? She’s asking what my problem was? I sighed trying to not let myself get down by it. It’s not a day for drama. It’s Mama’s baby shower, and I’m not going to get depressed on her day.

I looked around for her drink, and frowned when I couldn’t find it. I sighed when I saw a cup sitting on the counter. I swore that there was nothing in that spot before, but I brushed it off.

Before grabbing the cup, I took a deep breath and let it out. I paced the floor a minute trying to push it back. She blew it off. It was only the first time, and there’s no way I made her mad at me. Maybe something was hurting. I tried turning my thoughts around.

“Come on Lydia,” I moaned to myself as I held my head in my hands, “Not today. You’re getting better. Not today, dammit!” The thoughts weren’t going away. “This is stupid!” Out of anger I picked up the cup and threw it across the room. It shattered against the wall and fell to the floor. Then I freaked. “No! No! No! No! No!” I rushed over and started to clean it up, and as I was doing that, a piece of glass slipped from my fingers. During an attempt at catching it, it sliced open my hand.

“Shit!” I slammed my uninjured hand against the wall, and tears started rushing down my face. I stood up and rushed over to the sink to clean it up. Then I grabbed a paper towel and wrapped it around my finger.

“What’s going on in here?” Connor asked walking into the kitchen. “Nothing! I’m fine,” I said still feeling a bit of anger. “Okay, I was just making sure. Hey! Is that your mama’s glass?” He asked gesturing to the shattered glass on the floor. I sighed, “Maybe.” “Now how did this happen?” He asked.

“I’m trying to have a good day… and as you can see, it’s not working out for me,” I replied holding up my hand as blood dripped from it. “Let me see,” He said walking over. He took my hand and looked at it, “Yeah, that’s going to need a couple stitches. Lucky for you, I know how to do it.”

\---------------------

“Thank you,” I said as he finished up the stitches. “No problem,” He replied. Then he wrapped it up in some gauze and tape. “All better now. You’ll have to go to your mom if you want someone to kiss it,” He replied. “I’m good,” I chuckled at his joke. “Alright, you make her a new cup of tea, and I’ll clean the mess,” He said walking over to the pile with a broom.

“Thank you again,” I smiled reaching into the cabinet and pulling down another cup. I filled it with some tea and walked out of the kitchen. “There you are, is everything alright?” Mom asked. “Yeah,” I said after taking a small breath. I handed her the cup.

“Oh, honey that’s not mine,” She frowned reaching for it. “Yes it is… there was a- um- an incident with the other cup, so I had to make you a new one,” I said trying to find a not so revealing way to explain. “Lyd? What happened to your hand?” Naomi asked, then she got a better look at me, “Were you crying?”

“No,” I managed, “and like I said, there was an incident with the other glass. Mama please take it.” “Okay, I’m taking it. Only… you forgot the ice,” She said. I gave her an unamused look, and she took it with an awkward smile, “Who needs ice?”

“Lyd, is something wrong?” Naomi asked, revealing that they didn’t talk about it. Mom was just giving me a chance to process what had happened about twenty minutes ago. “I’m fine,” I said giving her the best smile I could to prevent further conversation about it. Then the doorbell rang. I jumped up quickly and paced to the door saying, “I’ll get it.”

I felt Naomi’s confused glare on my back as I opened the door. “Jamie! How are you?” I greeted with a smile. There were more people behind her. Including Connor’s parents and people from his work that mom knew, and I didn’t. “Hey girl!” She smiled back hugging me. I moved out of the way so everyone can enter the room.

For the past couple hours, the time was passing as we all talked and laughed and had some fun. I was finally letting it go for a moment, until I had to sit next to her for room. She tensed up a bit, and it made me tense up a bit. Me being a bit empathetic to her emotions.

I couldn’t take it anymore, so I stood up to walk out of the room. “Lydia? Are you alright?” Mom asked. “Yeah, I’m fine. My hand and head’s hurting a bit, so I think I’m going to go upstairs and take a small nap,” I said. She gave me a sad smile and nodded, “Alright. I’ll come get you when it’s time to reveal the gender. Okay?” “Okay,” I answered. Everyone pretty much knew about my depression, so they understood… everyone but Naomi.

She knew, but she didn’t understand… because she knew something was up. I was doing so well lately, and here I am… having a moment. Dr. Lewis warned me that I would have a moment every no and again. So it’s to be expected that my life isn’t going to be great all the time. I kept receiving her confused look until she couldn’t see me anymore.

I know that I’m overreacting to it, but try telling that to my depression. Try telling that to the part of me that I can’t control. I sighed as I walked into the guestroom. I paced the floor a bit while holding my hands in my hair.

“Come on, Lydia. It’s okay,” I mumbled to myself. The feeling wasn’t going away, and that made tears rush down my cheeks, “You’re being ridiculous. This is stupid. It’s so stupid. You’re acting stupid.”

After a moment of pacing the floor, there was a small knock on the door. “Lyd?” Naomi’s voice called from the other side. I sighed and opened the door. “Yes,” I said sounding a bit more stressed and annoyed than I wanted.

“Are you okay?” She asked sincerely. “I don’t know… Are you?” I said trying to take the attention off me. “How’s your hand?” She asked frowning. “It’s fine,” I answered. “May I come in?” She asked. “I’d prefer not, but I know that you’re going to anyway,” I answered walking away from the door.

She stood in the doorway frowning. “Lydia, are you okay?” She asked getting a bit frustrated. “I told you I’m fine. Why do you keep asking?” I said getting frustrated as well. I didn’t need her in here getting angry with me. But you take whatever life throws at you. “Because I’m worried about you,” She said like it was a stupid question.

“Yeah,” I sighed looking away, “Right. Well… you didn’t seem all that worried about me when you got here.” “What are you talking about?” She asked. “What’s going on with you, Naomi? You’re running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Leaving me alone constantly, and the only time I get to spend with you… you’re asleep! You’re always at the shop, whether I’m there or not. And you completely blew me off at the door earlier when you got here,” I said, my voice getting angrier with the more I said.

“What? Blew you off?” “Yeah, when I opened the door for you. I tried to hug you and kiss you, and you walked away from me. What did I do? Huh?” I explained, “Because I certainly don’t remember. And do you not know what happens when someone with depression is left thinking about something like that?! All the bad things circle my mind before the reasonable shit. So during this fucking time I’m supposed to be here, happy for my mother… I’ve been thinking about all the bad reasons that you would do something like that to me!”

Her jaw was partially dropped the entire time I spoke. Tears were even rolling down her cheeks as realization appeared on her face. “Lydia, I-,” “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry, Naomi! I don’t want to fucking hear it!” I cut her off, “What I want to know is why? Why?” She frowned. “Hannah came by the shop today,” She said.

“Who? And what does this have to do with what you did?” I asked extremely confused. “Hannah. Hannah Lowery,” She cleared. “You told me that you didn’t want anything to do with her,” I said remembering the name now. “I don’t. She must’ve hunted me down, and she- I was trying to turn her away. She wasn’t getting the hint, and when I was trying to get out that I wanted her to leave. She- she kissed me,” She explained with a pained expression.

“She kissed you? And that gave you reason to brush me off at the door?” I asked not even worried about this stupid Hannah girl kissing her. I know who Naomi loves, and I know that she wouldn’t do _that_ to me. “Lydia, I-,” “Why did you brush me off at the door? Why didn’t you explain it to me then?!” I asked. 

“I’m sorry,” She sighed, “I just- it’s been on my mind and I didn’t know how to react to it. I certainly didn’t know how you’d react to it. Though you seemed to have just brushed it off.” I sighed and sat down on the bed, “You let me get all depressed and self-doubtful over a fucking KISS!” I said letting some more anger out.

“Lydia, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know you were going to do all of that!” She choked, debating on whether or not she should sit next to me. I rubbed my face with my hands and stopped with it covered. “I knew it. I knew I was being fucking stupid,” I shook my head while it was covered by my hands.

“No Lyd, you’re not being stupid,” She said. I felt her weight next to me and was sure that she’d sat there. Then she wrapped her arm around me and pulled me to her. “I’m sorry,” She said again, and I sighed. “Naomi, I love you so much. You know that, right?” I asked looking up at her. “Yeah,” She said unsure how to process it.

“I don’t care if it was a kiss that she brought on or you, but please just tell me. Don’t do that to me again. I’m begging you,” I said trying not to cry again. She sniffled, “Okay.” “You’re my wife. You stayed with me no matter what, and you married me even after I gave up when you had to leave. I know that you didn’t kiss that girl, but even if you did… I wouldn’t have cared.” 

“Why do you say that?” She asked. “Because, you’ve done a lot for me. You deserve a little splurge,” I joked, and she scoffed. “If I splurge anywhere, it’ll be on you. I wouldn’t ever want to cheat on you,” She said. “Which is exactly why I believe you,” I said.

“And I- I’m so sorry about running around like that. I didn’t think- I- I was so restless sitting around, and only getting up when you or Connor felt like taking me downstairs or to the bathroom. I was just excited to be out and about again. I didn’t think that I was hurting you by doing that,” She said. “It’s okay. I understand, I was just venting a bit. Maybe even to the wrong person,” I frowned. “Well I think it’s to the right person,” She said, “I’m the one you had a problem with.” 

“I don’t have a problem with you, Naomi. I just have a problem with you moving around too fast. I want some me and you time. Not me and sleeping you time. Let’s take a couple days off from the shop and spend some time together. Please,” I said, and she took a deep breath. “Okay,” She smiled. I looked up at her, “Really?”

“Yeah, I’m ready to slow down a bit. For you,” She said. “Thank you,” I smiled hugging her. “You’re welcome,” She chuckled. “Now, mom’s asking,” I began and pulled away. “About what?” “That thing we talked about before you got out of the casts,” I said.

“Oh! Are you sure?” She asked. “Yeah, I’m sure. Dr. Lewis said that if I felt ready for this, then I should go for it,” I said. “And do you feel ready for it?” She asked. “Well, it would depend on what we’re going to do. I really want to expand our family, Naomi. You know that, and maybe it’ll help me feel better,” I said. “Adding a kid to our family will make you feel better?” She said, “Count me in.”

“Very funny,” I rolled my eyes, feeling much better now. She noticed that, and continued. “So how do you want to do it? We can adopt… or we could-,” “What can we agree on? Because if we do the artificial insemination, I want you to do it,” I said. “Me?” She looked at me confused, “Why do you want me to do it? You have the prettier eyes.” “Cute, but I don’t want our baby to- to-,” “Get depression?” She finished.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Lydia, it’s a very small chance. Especially when your depression is different from others. You have depression because of what happened to you. As long as we try to help him or her understand. I did a little research and talked to Dr. Lewis about it. She said that as long as we can make sure that it doesn’t have a strong influence. Like Dr. Lewis said, ‘when you _feel_ ready’.” 

“I do feel ready, but I don’t feel ready to be the one to do it,” I frowned. “Why not?” She asked. “I don’t know, maybe I’m scared to do that.” “How do you think I feel?” She asked, “You keep throwing me on the roll.” “Sorry,” I chuckled. “It’s okay,” She smiled taking my injured hand in hers. I winced at the bit of pain, and she let go. 

“Sorry,” She apologized. “Will you stop apologizing? You do that too much. Even if it isn’t your fault,” I sighed. “Sorry,” She said feeling a little embarrassed. I took a deep breath, “What about hormones?” “What do you mean?” She asked. “Well… the hormones are going to throw my depression around like a baseball. And I can’t take my antidepressants while I’m pregnant,” I said.

“That’s why we have Dr. Lewis. You’d be surprised at how much she believes that you don’t need them anymore. She’s keeping you on them until you believe that you don’t need them anymore. Honestly, Lydia. I think you can do this, and that’s one of the two reasons that I believe you _should_ do it.” “What’s the other reason?” “Clearly, you have the better qualities,” She answered.

I scoffed at her complements. “I do not have the better qualities!” I denied and she giggled. “Yes you do. You’re more creative and pretty. You’re eyes are this very pretty blue,” “Why do you think that we’ll get a baby with eyes my blue?” “Because we’ll pick out the semen from a guy with blue eyes… obviously,” She smiled.

“Wow, you’ve put more thought into it than I have,” I laughed. “Yeah. I guess I have,” She chuckled. I smiled at how well everything was going. “Okay, then. If you believe that I can do it, then I’ll do it,” I said. “Yay!” She smiled happily. “But- you have to be with me ninety percent of the time!” I said. “Only ninety?” She asked. “Well… I’ll let you have some alone time,” I chuckled.

“Baby, I will do everything I can to be with you a hundred percent,” She assured. I smiled and hugged her, “Thank you, Naomi.” “For what?” She asked hugging me back. “For talking to me, and believing that I could have our baby.” 

“You’re welcome… but I always believed that you were strong Lydia. Because I know that you’re strong, and I know that you can do it. I’ve always believed in you,” She said kissing the top of my head. “Good. I’m going to go to work with you tomorrow, and let’s see if you believe in me when I’m kicking that Hannah’s ass for kissing my wife,” I said gaining a bit of confidence from her saying that to me.

“May I help?” She asked. “What did she do?” I asked. “She- she and I used to date in high school, only to realize that it was all fake and she- she humiliated me in front of the entire student body at one of the pep rallies that we had. That’s all I’m going to say, because that’s all that really happened,” She explained. “Okay, I’m definitely going to kick her ass,” I said standing up. 

“She’s not here!” She said grabbing my hand. I looked at her and smiled, “I know, but she better hope that I don’t meet her.” “Now you’re being the old you!” She smiled and bit her lip, “Kinda hot.” I giggled, then cupped her face in my hands and pulled her into a kiss. She moaned a bit, both of us not having fun in a long time. She slipped her arms around my neck and held me to her. Mine moved to around her waist. 

“Lydia? Naomi?” I heard mom knock on the door, and Noami jumped away from me. “Jesus,” Naomi breathed with her hand on her heart. “Why’d you get scared? We’re married. It’s not like what we were doing was illegal,” I laughed as I walked over to the door. I opened it, “Yes?”

“Something happened,” She chuckled, “Connor and I are going to reveal the gender. You coming?” “Yeah,” I smiled. “Are you alright?” She asked. “I’m much better. Naomi and I talked through it. I’m in a very good place right now. Even though I feel like beating someone down now,” I said. “Lydia,” Naomi whined a bit from behind me.

“Alright, then. Let’s go!” Mom said walking down the stairs carefully. Naomi and I walked down right behind her and waited sat down on the love seat. “There you two are,” Jamie smiled. “Alright, so in this giant ass balloon, there’s glitter and an index card. The index card reveals the gender,” Connor said and everyone laughed, “It was Madeline’s idea.” 

“And I want… Lydia, to pop the balloon,” Mom said handing it to me. “Me? I don’t wanna be the reason you have art herpes on the floor,” I joked taking it from her. “You have the needles,” She said, and I rolled my eyes. “Do I?” I smiled raising an eyebrow. “We know you do,” Connor said. I pulled a small box out of my purse and pulled a needle out of the pin cushion that was in it.

“If I get that shit all in my bra, you’re buying me a new bra,” I said and everyone laughed, “Because they only way I’m going to be able to get it off of the bra is by burning it!” “Very funny, just pop the damn balloon,” Mom said exasperated. I rolled my eyes and prepared for the loud sound, “Okay. Three… two… one!” I jammed the needle quickly in the balloon hearing and feeling it explode against my hand. 

I watched as glitter flew out around where it was, and attaching itself to me, the couch, the floor, Naomi, and mom. Then a little  pink index card floated it’s way to the ground. I bent over and picked it up and looked at it. There was nothing on the card, but it’s color was rather revealing. 

“It’s a girl,” I smiled, and everyone cheered as tears brought their way to my eyes. Mom smiled at me and hugged me. “It’s a girl!” I cried aloud. “Yes, it’s a girl.” She chuckled.

After a few more minutes, everyone started to leave. Everyone but Jamie, and Connor’s parents. Who found it odd but acceptable that mom was pregnant. They were good people, and didn’t judge a late pregnancy.

I made my way into the kitchen alone to collect my thoughts on that. I was having a little sister. Someone who’s going to have wonderful parents and a happier life than me. And the emotional impact that it’s going to have on mom is so much better than that.

“You okay?” Mom asked walking in as I started to do the dishes to occupy my mind. “Yeah,” I answered with a nod, “I’m just so happy for you.” “Me? You’re getting a little sister,” She chuckled as she started to help me. “You don’t have to help. I got it,” I assured. “Bitch it’s _my_ house. Make me stop helping,” She replied with more sass than I was expecting. 

“Very funny. You know, I’m kind of glad she’s a girl,” I smiled. “Yeah? Connor’s already made the joke, saying to not let my mother near her,” She frowned. “I’ll kill him,” I said. “No, I know he meant it as a joke,” She said. “Mom, this is your second chance at getting to raise a little girl,” I said.

“I needed a second chance?” She asked. “Well yeah. Only this time… no one’s going to take her away from you,” I assured looking at her. “I did good with you though. Right?” She asked. “Of course. If it weren’t for you, I- I don’t know where I’d be. But this girl… you’ll have her younger years. She won’t get taken away from you.”

“What if she does?” She asked. “She won’t,” I assured, “The only one’s who will have her, is you and Connor.” “What if Connor takes her from me?” She asked. “Connor’s not going to take her from you, mama. He loves you so much,” I assured. “What if he doesn’t?” “Okay, see that’s something you need to discuss with him. But I do have something that Naomi and I want to tell everyone… if she wants me to,” I said.

“What’s that?” She asked. “Yeah?” Naomi asked walking in, “What are you signing me up for?” “That thing we talked about upstairs,” I said while drying off the last dish. “Oh!” She smiled, “Are you sure?” “Yeah,” I smiled. “Alright then, I guess we do have an announcement to make,” She agreed.

“Yay! I can’t wait!” Mom said hobbling out of the kitchen. “So you’re going to do it?” She asked. “Yeah, I think I want to. I’m ready to do it,” I said taking a deep breath. “And you’re ready to tell everyone?” She asked. “Well, if you’re not sure that I’m not sure, then we could say that we’re ‘thinking about having a baby’,” I suggested, “Which will be just the same, but they’re not expecting us to, you know, have a baby. Which makes it all the more easier for us to decide, and- wait… I’m rambling aren’t I?” 

She had a confuse look on her face for a moment then shook the confused thoughts out of her head, “A little. Baby, don’t be nervous. If you’re not ready to tell them, then don’t worry about, we have plenty of time to decide. I mean, your mom’s in her forties, and she’s like six months pregnant.”

“You’re right,” I sighed, “I’m ready. I want to do it, but I am a little nervous about telling everyone.” “You don’t have to,” She assured. “But I want to,” I said. “Then let’s do it,” She smiled. “Mom deserves to know first,” I smiled. “Okay, I’ll send her in. You can tell her, then let her yell it across town with a bell like she’s Paul Revere,” She said. “Perfect,” I smiled high-fiving her. We both laughed for a second. 

“Alright, I’ll go get her,” She said kissing me before walking away. She left the kitchen and mom came in a few seconds later. “What’s up sweetie,” She asked. I smiled, “Remember that thing we were talking about before Naomi got here?” “Hmm… about you wanting a baby?” She asked, and I smiled, “Oh my God, are you pregnant?”

“What? No! No! But we’ve decided have a baby,” I said, and she squealed and waddled over to me to give me a hug. I hugged her back, “My baby’s going to be an aunt before she hits middle school! When are you going to do it? What are you doing?”

“I don’t know when, artificial insemination, and before you ask… me,” I answered even the question she hadn’t asked yet. “You’re going to do it?” She asked, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive. Naomi’s made it quite clear that she doesn’t want to do it… well… that she wants me to do it,”

“But you’ll- you’ll have to go off the antidepressants!” She frowned a bit. “I know. I know, and I am going to talk with Dr. Lewis about it. Naomi and I are going to make sure I’m ready for this. Okay? Can you not freak out about it?” 

“Sorry,” She sighed, “If you think you can do it.” “What the fuck? You were all excited about it before,” I smiled. “Sorry, when I realized that _you_ were going to have the baby, I got a little worried,” She said, “You better watch that mouth around my baby and grand baby.” 

“I’ll do what I want,” I chuckled hugging her again. “You going to tell everyone else?” She asked. “Yeah, but if I have to hear the same question again… I’m going to scream,” I answered as we walked into the living room. Mom was kind of bouncing in place a bit until she walked over and sat next to Connor. I nodded to Naomi.

“Hey guys, Lydia and I have an announcement to make,” Naomi smiled getting up from the seat. I walked over to her as she addressed mom, Connor, His parents, and Jamie. “Oh what could it be,” Mom joked rolling her eyes. “Continue,” Connor said. “Naomi and I are thinking of having a baby,” I said a bit shyly, not liking being the center of attention.

“Yay!” Jamie cheered. “Alright!” Connor said high-fiving me. “How?” His dad asked while his mom gave us confused looks. “Dad!” Connor frowned. “It’s okay,” I assured as Naomi sat down, “Sir we’re both women, so there are only two ways we can add a kid into our home. Adoption and artificial insemination. We’ve decided the latter.” 

“Oh, okay,” Connor’s mother smiled. “That’s awesome,” His dad chuckled. “Wow, why is your side of the family so much better than mine?” Naomi asked lowly so they didn’t hear. “Well, you could tell your bother and sister. Let them hear the good news. And you could tell your parents, however, I’m done trying with them,” I said as we entered our own little conversation while the others did the same.

“I don’t blame you, Baby Girl,” She sighed and shook their head. “They knew that your ties with them were very thin, Naomi. And even though they were right, it wasn’t cool that they did that,” I said. “They’re not right, Lydia,” She frowned shaking her head.

“That’s what you always say. Kyle… he was the son of Landon,” I whispered through my teeth. “I know,” She said with a small nod, “Connor told me all of that.” “He- He did?” I asked. “After he was sure that you knew, he told me everything about that. What he told me is what he didn’t know,” “Which is?” “What they did to you,” She said. “Okay,” I sighed, I laid over and rested my head on her shoulder. 

“You tired?” She asked. “A little,” I answered. “Maybe we should head home,” She suggested. “Maybe, but I came in my car, and you came in yours. We’ll be separated for the ride,” “Well, how about we head home, and I’ll do that thing I promised you?” She asked. I quickly stood up, “Mama, we’re going to head on home.”

“Alright dear, drive safely,” She said standing up to hug and kiss me. Everyone had their chance to hug and say good bye, then we were heading home.

  



	17. Growing Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madeline goes into Labor

“Come on. Come on,” I sighed tapping my fingers against the table in the dining room. The little stick sitting on the table as I waited for its calculations. A lot of hope and wishing and planning went into this moment. I even went off my antidepressants for this and did fertility shit and everything… this shit better work.

Naomi doesn’t know that I was doing this. I know she wanted me to wait and take the test with her, but my assurances weren’t working. I had to do it… and she’s at the shop.

I waited a little longer before getting frustrated. Then the phone rang making me jump a bit. I answered it while still staring at the test. “Hello?” I sighed. “Lydia?” Connor’s voice came through the line. “Yeah?” I answered. “It’s time,” He said. “What?” I said jumping up and scooting the chair backwards. “It’s time!” He said. His voice showing a bit of mixed emotions.

“Get her to the hospital, I’ll call Naomi and meet you there!” I said hanging up. I quickly grabbed the test and ran up the stairs. I got dressed and tossed the test in my purse before heading out the door with my keys. I drove into town and stopped by the shop. I ran through the door.

“Hey Lydia!” Nessie greeted. “No time! Where’s Naomi?” I asked. “She’s upstairs working on a dress,” She said, and I ran up the stairs before she could ask why. “Naomi!” I yelled almost out of breath. “Lydia? What’s wrong?” Naomi asked while sewing on a dress that was hanging from a mannequin.

“It’s time,” I said, and she knew what I meant. “Alright, let’s go,” She said jumping up and grabbing her purse. We made our way out the door and into my car. I got in the driver seat and started the car. Then drove us to the hospital.

By the time we got there, they already had mom in a gown and were waiting for her to be dilated enough to give birth. The both of us busted through the door panting. “Oh my God! Did you two run a marathon?” Mom asked. Then she winced in pain. “Maybe,” I frowned thinking about it. “You okay, Mrs. Richardson?” Naomi asked.

“I’m fine dear,” She said then she cried out, “Holy fucking shit that hurts!” “She’s fine. She’s totally fine!” I said sarcastically. Then I paced over to the side of the bed that Connor wasn’t on. “Is she dilating enough?” I asked him. “I don’t know. A nurse keeps coming in every like five to ten minutes. She always says ‘almost there’ then walks back out,” Mom answered for him, “Fucking bitch.”

“Mom she’s just doing her job,” I assured. Then she grabbed my shirt and yanked me down to her level. Then she said in a menacing tone, “I don’t care what you do or how you do it, but hunt that bitch down and tell her to get this thing out of me!” I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my throat.

“You’re laughing now!” She said, and I stopped realizing what she meant, “Uh huh.” She leaned back onto the bed. Then a pretty nurse came in. “Hello Mrs. Richardson, I’m Nurse-,” “Nurse Sloan?” I smiled, “You deliver babies too?” “Yep, some of us kind of rotate around since it’s such a small hospital,” She answered, “It’s so good to see you again.”

“Um- hello! Can we exchange pleasantries later?!” Mom said trying to get the attention back on her. “Sorry, Mrs. Richardson,” Nurse Sloan apologized. “Will you be here for my baby too? Well… I mean, If it actually worked,” “Sure,” She said knowing what I meant.

“Yay!” I said and Naomi took my hand in hers. “Alright ladies, we’re going to check to see if she’s ready,” She said pulling the curtain around mom to give them privacy. After a few moments, she pulled the curtain back. “Well?” Mom asked. “It’s time,” Nurse Sloan said, “Let me go get the doctor, and we’ll get started.”

“Oh thank God!” Mom sighed, but then tensed back up. Nurse Sloan left the room, and almost immediately came back with a doctor. One that’s unfamiliar to me. “Alright, let’s get started. Ladies, could you please leave the room?” She asked looking at Naomi and I. “No!” Mom yelled, “They can stay!” “Mama. It’s okay. We’ll wait outside the room,” I assured.

“No! You two want a baby, this is what you’re going to have to do!” She said, and Connor laughed. “Dad, stop laughing,” I said walking back over to mom and grabbing her hand. “What-?” Connor asked looking a little confused. “Time to push!” Nurse Sloan said after they got mom set up.

What felt like hours later, the room finally filled with the cries of a baby. All of us already intrigued by her. “Awe,” Nurse Sloan cooed. She wrapped my little sister in a blanket and passed her to Connor, who I just realized that I called dad earlier. He looked at his daughter and I swear a tear fell down his cheek.

Mom took a breath as Nurse Sloan took a cloth and wiped the sweat off her. Then Connor passed their daughter over to her. “Look at our baby,” He said in tears. “She’s so beautiful,” Mom cried. I smiled as I looked at my little sister. My baby sister. She was so beautiful.

I rested my head on mom’s shoulder as we watched her. My heart leaped as she opened her eyes. The beautiful green hazel that came from her mother looking right at me. Suddenly I remembered the test in my purse, but I didn’t want to do anything yet. I watched my little sister squirm in mom’s arms.

“She is a little cutie. I bet she’s going to bring all the boys to the yard,” I said dancing a little making mom laugh. “She better not,” Connor said. “Shut up, dad,” I said. Purposely saying dad again. “There it is again!” He said and mom laughed again.

“So?” I shrugged a bit, knowing that it means a lot to to him for me to call him dad. I smiled as he walked over and hugged me. “Thank you,” He said as we hugged. “You’re welcome. Now you have a beautiful daughter to look at. And I don’t mean me,” I chuckled as he pulled away.

“Baby, do you have in Tylenol or aspirin?” Naomi asked. “Yeah, in my purse,” I answered, then I turned back to mom, “So what are you going to name her?” “Olivia,” Mom answered. I smiled, “That’s such a beautiful name, since her eyes look like cute little olives.” “Cute, you know your father made the same joke about your eyes. He said they looked like blueberries,” She laughed, “But he was hungry.” “So am I,” I laughed.

“Um… Lyd?” Naomi said grabbing my attention. She was peeping in the door, and I hadn’t realized that she’d walked out. “Yeah?” I asked looking at her. “Can we talk outside a moment?” She asked. “Yeah,” I said walking out of the room with her.

When the door was shut, I turned to her, “What’s up?” “This,” She said handing me the test. “Shit, Ni- I’m so sorry, I-,” “Read it,” She ordered. “Okay,” I looked down at it. The little screen had a plus sign on it, and I let out a small shriek of excitement, “Oh my God!” I looked up at her. “You’re pregnant!” She cheered, and we hugged.

“It worked!” I laughed almost in disbelief. “Of course it worked!” She smiled. I quickly opened the door, and we rushed back into the room. She knew I was excited to tell them. “Mom… _dad…_ I’m pregnant!” I said excitedly. “Yay!” Mom cheered. “So it worked?” Connor asked. “Yep! Finally,” Naomi answered with a smile her arm wrapped around my waist. 

“I’m so proud of you two for doing this,” Mom smiled, “I’m gonna be a grandma!” “And I’m apparently gonna be a grandpa! I’m going to spoil that baby!” Connor said. “Thank goodness it worked. It was a somewhat pleasant but also very weird experience that I don’t want to go through again,” I joked, and Naomi laughed. 

“Baby, it couldn’t have been that bad,” She assured. “You were there, you saw how uncomfortable I felt,” I said, then I sighed, “Oh well… it was worth it.” “Good,” She smiled. “And I’m sorry that I took the test without you,” “It’s okay,” She smiled, “I saw it before you.” “I deserve that,” I chuckled.

“Ooh, I’m so excited,” Naomi said bouncing a bit. “You’re excited for me to yell in pain, and blame you for it?” I asked. “Well… not about that,” She chuckled. “I can’t wait to tell Dr. Lewis,” I smiled. “You tell Dr. Lewis everything,” She said. “Well… she is my therapist. One that _you_ made me go to,” I replied. 

“Okay, that’s enough. Be excited, don’t let it lead to an argument,” Naomi chuckled knowing that she lost that one. “Okay,” I smiled walking over to mom to look at my baby sister again. I laid my head on her shoulder and watched her. “Can you believe this?” I asked her. “What?” “I’m going to to have one of those too,” I said, and she laughed. “Yes you are,” She smiled.

_8 weeks later_

“You ready?” Naomi asked. “Huh?” I said tapping my foot on the ground and biting my nails. “Why are you so nervous?” She asked with a frown, then she took my hand away from my mouth so I wouldn’t bite my nails anymore. I sighed and leaned back a bit. “Lydia?” She said to get my attention, and I looked at her. “There’s nothing wrong with the baby. You’re okay,” She assured. 

“Then why would they have me come in?” I asked. “Because- hmm- let me guess… you’re pregnant,” She said as though I was being ridiculous. “Pregnant, I hadn’t guessed. I’ve been having morning sickness for the past week!” I frowned, and she rolled her eyes.

“Look this is a sonogram to see if everything is as it should be. Baby, it’s standard procedure. We’ll be doing this a lot, but that doesn’t exactly mean there’s something wrong with the baby,” She said reassuring me. “Okay,” I smiled taking a deep breath. I leaned against her with a sighing. 

“Lydia Hamilton,” The nurse called, and we got up and followed her down the hallway. “Alright, there’s a bathroom right over there, would you mind changing into this?” She said handing me a hospital gown. I took it nodding. I walked into the bathroom, and did as she asked. Then walked back out leaving my clothes in there.

I got onto the bed, and waited for further instruction. Naomi helped the nurse cover my lower half. The doctor then walked in. She smiled brightly as she walked over, “Hello Mrs. Hamilton, my named is Dr. Victoria Cooper. How are you today?” “Nervous,” I answered bluntly. “Oh, that’s common among young mothers,” She assured. “Really?” I gave her a cockeyed confused look, and she nodded.

“Of course. Now I need you to lift the gown up to uncover your belly, you can use the blanket to cover everything under the belly. Okay?” She instructed. “Okay,” I said, and Naomi helped me by keeping me covered as I nervously pulled the gown up.

“Is this your friend?” Doctor Cooper asked. “Oh, Naomi Hamilton,” Naomi introduced shaking Dr. Cooper’s hand. “Oh, you’re married?” She smiled. “Yes ma’am, Naomi’s my wife,” I confirmed. “Well, then let’s keep the good news rolling she said as she gently squeezed some of the gel on my belly. I winced a bit at the coldness of it. The nurse stood beside her as she started to rub the ultrasound thing against my belly, we watched the screen as she moved it around in the gel. 

The more she did it and nothing was happening, the more afraid I got. “Hmm,” She hummed in thought as she looked at the screen. “What is it?” I asked with a frown. “See that there,” She said pointing to the screen. “Yeah,” I said looking at the small shape. “That’s your baby,” She smiled, “And that...” She pointed to another small shape, “Is your other baby.”

“Twins,” Naomi smiled. “Well, it looks like we’re giving up both of our work rooms,” I chuckled in thought. Then the room was filled with thumping sounds. I looked at the screen. The sound of our babies heartbeats were bringing tears into our eyes. “It sometimes is hard to tell, but they seem to be identical,” Dr. Cooper continued, “We’ll know for sure later on.” 

“Okay,” I smiled. “Well everything appears to be in order. Congratulations on your twins,” She smiled. “Thank you,” Naomi and I smiled. “We’ll get you wiped off and then you can go back into the bathroom and get changed,” She said as the nurse wiped off my belly. Dr. Cooper walked out of the room as I stood up from the bed. I walked into the bathroom and quickly got dressed in my original clothes.

I walked back out with the gown, and the nurse took it from me smiling. I walked over to Naomi as Dr. Cooper walked back into the room with a yellow envelope. “Here you go, ladies,” She said passing it to me. “Ah! Our first family photo!” Naomi joked as I held the envelope to me.

I walked outside as Naomi signed some papers and talked with Dr. Cooper. I got into the car and sighed. “Wow,” I said to myself in shock. I looked down at my belly, my hand instinctively on it, “There’s two of you, but don’t worry. Naomi and I are going to love you both the same. I promise!” I said as she got into the car. “Well… I told you everything was going to be okay,” She said starting the car. 

“Twins Ni-Ni! We’re having twins!” I squealed a bit. “We are,” She chuckled taking my hand in hers as she drove out of the parking lot. “Okay, she said to come back in about ten to twelve weeks and we’ll find out the genders of our babies,” She said. “Awesome. I’m so excited!” I cheered a bit while bouncing in my seat. 

“Wanna call and tell your mom?” She asked. “No. I want to wait until we know the gender,” I said. “Okay, but you’ll be definitely showing by then, and you’re mom might figure it out,” She said. “So, I want to hold it off as long as I can.” “Okay,” She smiled.

\------------------

“Okay so you ready?” I asked. “Me? You’re the pregnant one. Are you ready?” She asked while we were in the kitchen. There was my baby shower in the living room, and we were getting ready for the gender reveal to Mom, Connor, Jamie, Connor’s parents, Nessie, Aunt Marge, my cousin Madeline, and her friend Ashley who happened to be another employee at my shop. Also, Naomi’s brother and sister showed up surprisingly. 

“I’m ready,” I smiled kissing her, “And you do realized that nearly everything they brought… we need two.” “Yep. Luckily some people copied each other. I’m trying to find ways to assure them without giving it away,” She chuckled. Then I heard Olivia’s cries from the living room. “Well… let’s ease their minds then,” I said taking her hand and walking into the living room.

“Hey guys, so it’s time for the gender reveal, because I am currently the only one who knows. What all of you don’t know, is this is going to take two parts to reveal. Now the first part is this,” I said holding up a small shoe box. I had decided to make it more interesting, “Inside this box it a bunch of confetti. Easy clean up than glitter. Now there’s a small item in the box that will get you guys caught up to Naomi.” 

Everyone looked at me confused as I sat the box down on the table and opened it. Revealing the confetti. “Mom, if you would do the honors,” I said. She reached into the box and pulled the item out. It was a  T winkie.  She looked at it confused for a moment, then it hit her. 

“OH MY GOD!” She jumped up and ran over to me, “Oh my God! Oh my God! I can’t believe it!” I laughed as she hugged me and jumping up and down at the same time. “Good God, Madeline, don’t hurt her!” Aunt Marge laughed. Mom finally calmed down, and pulled away. “Are you serious?” She asked. She seemed to be the only one who understood it. “Yeah,” I nodded, and she burst into tears.

“I don’t understand,” Connor frowned looking at the treat while holding Olivia. “Well we were trying to find a way to tell you guys, and Naomi thought that using the Twinkie would work. We’re having twins!” I said smiling. Everyone cheered and clapped for us.

“Now that that’s out of the way,” I said bending down and picking up the Twinkie. I opened it up and started snacking on it. “Seriously? You just couldn’t wait to eat it could you?” Naomi laughed. “Nope,” I said with a mouthful.

“I’m so excited to find out,” Naomi said, “At least that’s what Lydia told me.” “Like I said, I’m the only one who knows the gender of our babies,” I smiled dancing a bit, “So the next part is for Naomi.” “Yay!” She cheered. 

“But first… let’s tally up the votes,” I said looking at the pin-board, “How is it a dead tie? There are eleven of you here. Someone didn’t vote.” “Lydia, everyone but you voted,” Naomi chuckled meaning that she did as well. “Oh,” I smiled a bit embarrassed as small chuckles filled the room. Naomi rolled her eyes a bit, and I kissed her cheek. 

“Okay, so it’s a dead tie,” I smiled, “And I shall be your tie breaker!” I giggled. “Okay, so here it is,” I smiled walking over to a bag and picking it up. I made my way back over to the table and set it down. “So for most of you who don’t know, Naomi and I have already picked out names for if they were boys or girls or boy and girl. And when I proposed to Naomi, it was with these handkerchiefs I made with initials. The one I proposed with had N. H. on it,” I smiled looking at her. 

“Awe, did you make handkerchiefs with our babies initials?” Naomi asked. “Yes,” I smiled handing her the bag, “There are two, and I used their first and last initials!” “Okay,” Naomi smiled. Then she reached in the bag and pulled one out, “First on is ‘C. H.’” “Yes,” “Chloe Hamilton! The first one is a girl!” Naomi smiled and everyone cheered a second. 

“Number two,” I said holding up the bag again. She reached in and pulled out the other one. “Okay, second one is, “Z. H. Zoey Hamilton! They’re both girls!” She said excitedly. And everyone cheered with her, “I can’t believe it! They’re both girls,” “Yes they are,” I smiled hugging Naomi and kissing her. I personally couldn’t believe it. This was something that was finally happening. Naomi turned to the crowd. “So this is why I kept telling you guys that it was okay if you brought the same gift as someone else. Now we have two of everything,” “And double the trouble,” Mom chuckled. 

“But twice the fun,” I said smiling.


	18. 6 years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 years later

“Chloe! Zoey! Come down here right now!” I yelled with a frown as I tapped my foot while standing in the living room. It wasn’t long before I saw two blue-eyed and dark haired 5-year-old girls walking down the stairs. They were hesitant because they knew that they were in trouble. “You two girls need to clean this mess up right now!” I sighed shaking my head, “Your grandmother is coming over today with your aunt, and I will not let this house be a mess.”

“Sorry, mommy,” They said walking over. They started to pick up their toys and put them in the toy box I had set down stairs. “Thank ladies,” I smiled after they finished up, “Now is that room clean?” They both looked at each other, then ran upstairs. “No running!” I yelled after them as I heard the front door open.

I turned and looked at Naomi as she walked in. “Hey baby!” She greeted walking over. She hugged and kissed me, “Where are the girls?” She asked. “In there questionably clean room,” I chuckled. “You know, if we can get Chloe to sleep in her room, we’ll know who is actually making the mess,” She said. “Yeah, _if_ we can get her to sleep in the other room. Personally, I don’t mind if she sleeps with her sister right now,  she’s having nightmares.” 

“Again?” She sighed. “Yeah,” I frowned, “I’m not sure why, but she is.” “Well, we will figure it out at some point.” “Nanny’s here!” I heard them yell as they came down the stairs. I frowned as they went out the door and ran out into the yard. “GIRLS!” I yelled chasing after them. “No!” Naomi yelled running after me. 

Connor and mom had to park across the street, and I didn’t want those girls crossing the street yet. It was oddly busier today than most. “Connor!” I yelled grabbing his attention as he got out of the car. He saw the car coming as well, as I pushed myself to run after the girls. Zoey stopped just before the curb and Naomi grabbed her and held her close. I passed them up to run after Chloe who was still going. 

The driver in the oncoming car honked, but the asshole didn’t slow down. When I neared Chloe, I shoved her towards Connor. And the last thing I saw... was him reaching out to grab her.

\---------------

I heard a beeping noise, and it was rather annoying. My head hurting every time it beeped. I knew what it was, and I knew that I was in the hospital. But what I didn’t know, is if Chloe was okay.  It was quiet. Very quiet. I felt a sharp pain in pretty much the whole left side of my body, and I felt something in my right hand. 

I opened my eyes and looked around at the room. Mom and Connor were asleep on a bench in the window. Olivia curled up in her father’s lap while her legs laid across mom’s. I panicked as I looked to the person sitting closer to me. Naomi was in the recliner next to me. Both our girls were in her lap as she slept with one hand around them and the other was in mine.

I smiled at my family sitting next to me. One of the girls stirred in her sleep, and sat up a bit. She looked at me, and I noticed that it was Chloe. She wore a frown on her face, and the morning sun showed the bright red rings around her eyes. I gave her a sad smile, as she brightened up a bit when noticing that I was awake.

“Mommy?” She whispered. “Hey baby,” I smiled with a soft voice. Then I moved my hand from Naomi’s hold, and patted the bed. Naomi stirred and moved her hand to wrap it around Zoey as Chloe crawled out of her arms. I helped her to lay down next to me, and used both my arms to hold her against me. 

“Mommy, I’m so sorry,” She wept as she buried her face in my shoulder. I rubbed her arm to comfort her. “It’s okay, baby girl. But you really need to watch where you’re going. Do you hear me?” I said. “Yes ma’am. I’m so sorry,” She cried. “It’s okay, baby girl,” I assured, “But promise me that you won’t do that again. You wait until Grandma and Grandpa are on our side of the street.” “Yes ma’am,” She smiled.

“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, are you okay?” I asked. “Yeah, papa pulled me out of the way after you pushed me to him,” She replied. “Good,” I smiled kissing her forehead, “And Mimi already had Zoey,” She added. “Stupendous,” I smiled kissing her cheek.

“Mommy, I love you. I promise that it won’t happen again,” She apologized. “I love you too,” I replied. There was a sharp pain in my side, but I didn’t care. My girls were okay. Connor had protected Chloe. I closed my eyes and rested my head on hers. “Chloe, why have you been having bad dreams?” I asked trying to change the subject. 

“I don’t know, mommy,” She replied. “I need the truth, sugar,” I said staring at her. “I don’t know,” She repeated, and I sighed. “Okay, baby,” I chuckled rubbing her arm again, “But just know that you can always tell me. Okay?” “Okay mommy,” She said just before dozing off again. 

I looked out at the sunrise while I waited for someone to wake up, and sure enough… Naomi  woke up in a small panic . She looked down in her lap and frowned. “Chloe!” She nearly yelled. I reached out and grabbed her hand to keep her from waking everyone up. She looked up at Chloe and I, then let out a sigh of relief. “She’s up here with me,” I chuckled, then winced at the pain it brought me. 

“Thank God you’re okay,” She smiled taking my hand in hers, “Chloe has been so upset about what happened. She knows that it was because of her. I wasn’t helping much though, panicking left and right. Trying so hard to keep the girls together.” “Baby, it’s okay. See everything is just fine,” “But you’re hurting,” She frowned, “Do you want me to get the nurse?” “There’s no need to wake up Zoey just yet,” I shook my head. 

“I’ll go get Sloan,” Mom said getting up from the couch by the window. I hadn’t even known that she was awake. She walked over to me and pressed a kiss to my forehead, then left the room. Then Chloe stirred awake in my arms.

“Mommy!” She yelled making everyone else jump awake. Connor snorted awake which woke Olivia up, and Zoey woke up and started crying along with Chloe. “Shh. It’s okay,” I said helping Chloe calm down. Naomi was trying to get Zoey to calm down by getting her to look at me and see that I was awake. 

“What’s going on?” Connor asked. “Chloe had a bad dream,” I answered trying to calm her down. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” Chloe frowned as she finally calmed down to sniffles. “It’s okay baby,” I assured petting her hair, “It’s okay.” 

\------------------

“Home at last,” I sighed as we walked through the front door. I was lucky to not have any broken bones from the incident, but that didn’t stop me from being in a bit of pain, and the whole left side of my body was covered in bruises. Which were finally going away.

Chloe and Zoey yelled, “Yay!” and ran up the stairs. I sighed and shook my head. “You can’t blame them. They’ve been stuck in that hospital room all week,” Naomi chuckled. “It’s good to be home. I’d be chasing you up to the bedroom, if I felt like it.” “Cute,” She laughed walking away.

Then she stopped and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “What?” I asked giving her a confused look. “Stop looking at my ass,” She smiled, and I couldn’t help the one that inched on my face. The memory of our first morning after being together made it into my head. “You’re my wife, I can look at your ass any time I want,” I said. “No you can’t,” “Sugar… I’m the only one who can,” I smiled. Then she took off running up the stairs and I chased her up to our room as she giggled.

I always marveled in the thought of my life. The struggles, the depression, the love, the hate, the pain and pleasure, the loneliness and togetherness, and everything else. I had a beautiful wife and two wonderful daughters.

Even though my life was not as perfect as I would’ve hoped it was… it was still my life, and it was still beautiful and amazing. It was still something that I cherished every moment of every day.  It was still something that I couldn’t bare to have any other way. 

Love got me through it. Naomi’s love for me, my love for her… my love for my girls. If it weren’t for love… I don’t know where I’d be. There’s always going to be tests between our love, but in the end, I know that we’ll get through it because Love Always Wins.


	19. Final note on the book

Hey guys... thank you so much for reading the book, I really hope you enjoyed it. And don't forget that it and the other book I've written are on wattpad. thank you again. Love you guys... peace out!


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